Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Daily Painting

Whatcha doin'?
Some people think I don't do anything but blog - but I really do a lot of stuff. I even had friends stop by this weekend who actually were admitted to my workshop/studio - LOL! - the spooky basement, they can vouch for me.

Anyway - I'll be updating the "obscene" Up Your Street blog with a few examples of my daily painting. (Not everything can be shown.)

Above: Detail of St. Francis Levitating. 6" x 12" acrylic on canvas.  (The figure has been adapted from another painting.)
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  1. "Roza Ferox"1:24 PM


    Did you not get my comment back a ways relative to others' comments about this and that mystic or false mystic, and the sense that we ought follow no one but Christ, pay attention to the Church's decisions, but otherwise not toss all mystics under the wheels of our judging (or misjudging), opinions (or wrongful opinions), and otherwise slips into gossip? Perhaps my comment did not go through. Yes, it was written in a kind of upset since I have unasked for situations that have been misjudged, and when I read a someone describing someone in your or their parish and saying she was mentally ill, it just sort of got to me BIG TIME. That's quite a judgment to make, or an opinion, and opinions for the most part are not based upon fact or expertise....
    But, the main thing is, perhaps, to rise above, to levitate to Christ, just as you have St. Francis doing here in art, as he did on earth. Follow no one, and then there won't be an issue. Of course, many people do not do that. However, I had begged and begged a woman to stop focusing on Medjugorje, to no avail, until prayer finally won out.
    So I just think we all ought to rise above being the mystic police. Yes, the ones you listed and wrote about are fairly known frauds, but still it is detraction of sorts. But to proclaim a fellow parishioner, really got to me. I've been a victim to that, and I'm not mentally ill, etc. I do know that deaths imminent can be physical, emotional, spiritual, and God's time is not our time. His imminent is not our imminent. While I would not broadcast locutions, I'm not sure that woman did, or perhaps someone she confided in spread it. Well, I just wanted to clarify, and perhaps you did not get my comment, anyway, on that blog a few blogs back. I'm just extra touchy about that kind of thing, and I've been guilty myself, but now feel the pain of it when it gets turned wrongly on oneself. I even wondered if my comment had been judged not what you wanted to post? And maybe all this should have been in an email, but I always keep my identity as hidden as possible, and my personhood hidden as possible, for I'm worn out and done in. Pray for me. Thanks.

  2. Whatever he's looking at, I want to look at.

  3. Thanks Roza - I believe you are referencing another post I did - thanks for your concern. I wasn't writing in reaction to anything you said or how you have ever identified on this blog. Never had you in mind at all - just the bad boys I referred to in the post, if I remember correctly. The commenter uses the "crazy word" rather liberally, although I doubt she means to be malicious or vindictive.

    Anyway - I think you are safe in this case - a proper mystic prefers to remain anonymous and hidden, just as you do.

    Please pray for me too.

  4. Poor Roza ! "I'm worn out and done in. Pray for me."

    You must work with religious people. hahahaha


  5. "roza ferox"11:49 AM

    Actually, I have constant pain that I offer for the Church and souls (especially my soul). I am always in odd predicaments. Something happens to me at Mass that I cannot help, and between the pain and the way people (yes, priests) have reacted, has finally caused my courage to flag. So I stay in my little place here and pray, and get grumpy and consider the rejections, until I get out in the gardens, or edit, or read Padre Pio's correspondence, or Scripture, and pray some more, and go to bed (at night). Mine is a goofy life, with weird persecutions, and I figure since I prayed so much for this thing to go away, that God plucked me out, for it never happens other than at Mass, any Mass, any Parish. And that is about it. So please pray for me, if I should attempt going back. But my own confessor has backtracked, it seems, and just does not quite get it that I cannot control this thing, and ya just can't make it happen at home! It's not like that. A psych.d. whose known me for 25 years weighed in, and yet he is across the country. Anyway, that's part of what ails me--just a goofy, weird, painful life with loads of blessings, however.
    The other day I was so down I looked online and found a young woman (perhaps lesbian but don't want to judge!)who has a youtube site in which she coaches people on how to defect from the Church. Her main beef is the social teachings! Well, that is not my beef. Mine is that it seems if you are normal, regular, monied, married, not too deep into the Faith, and not seeking God too much, you have it made and are acceptable.
    I've been told it only looks like I'm asleep at Mass, but I'm treated like the Black Mariah. Like I have an eyeball hanging out, but no one wants to say "You have an eyeball hanging out". Then there are the lies and opinions and wrongful opinions and judgments and misjudgments, and the sense of abandonment which becomes then actual. Then there is the ret. Bishop who my Da told me to go and ask him to talk with me, and the ret. Bishop said he would, and I asked how can I trust you? He had promised to talk with me over the years and never did. But he said I PROMISE! I PROMISE! So I call the secretary and he said to do, and I called a week later to make sure she got the message, and she said he hadn't set up a time yet.... That was about four weeks ago. I've considered doing a Youtube myself, and asking if there are any Catholic priests out there or parishes who will adopt me! But I cannot move since the physical pain is too much, and I have my place here and total Mary Gardens with Sacred Heart Sanctuary Courtyard garden. So, oh well. That is just some of the tale of woe. I can assure you that with all the things that have gone awry in my Catholic journey, I'm not going to be a poster child for conversions! I'm hanging in, hoping to make it to my 15th Catholic anniversary on the Queenship of Mary. Yes, I'm praying for you guys, and thanks for praying for me. I ended up praying for that young woman with her angry Youtube video as I lumped around the gardens yesterday, finishing fertilizing weeping specimen trees and perennials. Sorry this is so long. Anyway, I'd love to fly up where St. Francis is heading, but my soul is heavy-laden with impurities, even thought starved of the Sacraments. Yeah, the priest is quite eager for me to sacrifice daily Mass (due to my pain, he adds), but he's all along been more concerned about decorum than about my helpless state at Mass. God has plucked me out, regardless. I will have to be satisfied with spiritual communions, as I have no more courage to go and be subjected.... Am going to make borage tea, however, as the ancient Greeks thought it would bring courage.

  6. Yeah, Roza I get it - crap in the garden, crap with church people, and crap over on youbube. I saw a man on youbube doing the same thing!

    I keep to myself for the most part and I ALSO pester ;) Mr.Terry. Pretty much every day.(hahaha)(I'm not sure why either- Why Mr.Nelson why??)

    Some of your points to consider-
    1) I don't think anyone is "Normal" and Religious people are the freakiest -myself included, and your going to have to be okay with that.

    2)If your rightly concluding that someone a Lesbian and your calling them as you see them I don't see how that can be considered as judging. I'm a really, really white girl and you can call me white and your not judging me- I am what I am. Now if your saying white girls go to hell when they die I would have a problem with that , yet you were doing no such thing.

    3)People who refuse to turn from their sins want consolation and acceptance so they demand for our church to make accomodations for them which isn't going to happen. Our church is here to offer a plan for our salvation and they have no obligation to make you feel better about your sins.(Confession and repentance does that anyway but many refuse the medicine that cures all ills) It's simple- stop sinning or be prepared to pay for you sins.
    4) Dont count yourself out of the poster child for conversions plan.
    -With Christ- "The Dumb blog". "The anxious speak" and I saw a blind man paint. I've seen a person with no legs shuffle her way to Mass. God is limitless and you can't box him in. :)
    5) Bind your (wounds) pain to Christs pain and move on. Everyone carrys pain emotional , physical ,or mental scars, it's part of the human condition and it's always there though many may pretend they have nothing wrong at all. Prolonged thinking about our sufferings and how we've been neglected, mistreated, or misguided steals time away from our thoughts which should always be of Christ.

    Our priests and bishops are overwhelmed and perhaps your expecting to much from them.
    Humans can only do so much. As I tell my children who expect perfection from their mom... It's not possible. I screw up.

    It's not a sin to let that woman over on youtube "have it" ya know. Those people need spiritual smackdowns for the sake of their souls.

    *My response to you was meant to be one of love and respect as no disrepect or haughtiness was intended on my part towards you at all. I'm a tough love kinda girl.

  7. Poor Mr.Terry- all those words.......ugh....Sorry.

  8. "roza ferox"6:37 PM

    I guess I'm sort of back to wanting to go where St. Francis was aiming--high and free flying.

    Didn't mean to get in too deep into the stuff, but it is a good example of how a little bit of information can really bring out the assumptions, opinions, judgments, and other ideas in all of us. Hard not to do it. That's kinda why I keep my web site unknown. Actually easy to do on the internet, and I'd not have one at all except it is a marvelous tool for writing, photos, color, and graphics!

    God bless everyone. I'm pondering St.Francis' trip!

  9. "roza ferox"6:41 PM

    ...and I didn't mean anything re. anyone else--just that things can get misconstrued, and one thought leads to another. It goes along with perspective, and Terry, you know about that with art. What St. Francis saw and sees is different than what any of us might see, and what we see from our perspective might be different, too. Words, ideas, perceptions....


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