You just learn to stay with your family.
I'm not talking about the 'mob' or the 'Mafia', but just the average first and second generation Italian immigrant family of the 20th Century. And it's almost just as dangerous to talk about their family stuff as it is to talk about real Mafia secrets. They will cut you off and never forgive, much less forget, if you reveal anything. They insist they don't tell lies, but neither do they admit to anything. So let's just say they dissimulate.
Do you work?
-No, I don't work!
Why are you dressed as a waitress then?
-No! I don't work!
I was thinking about this after an in-law lost her partner, whom I never met or was told about, and her daughter mourned him as her step-dad. All of these years, I never knew.