Saturday, November 24, 2007

Local News... in St. Paul, Minnesota that is...

It's just too bad!

I just got this email:
I was told that Cyndi Brucato donated a tour of the Channel 5 newsroom to a Planned Parenthood Auction Fundraiser which is to be held on November 29. It is valued at $500. Ribnick Furs has contributed 11,000 (retail) in two fur coats. The MN Lynx have contributed $1000 in opening night tickets. Continental Diamonds in watches; MN Wild also donated tickets:

Here's one you can call on: Mayor Chris Coleman has donated a meal with him. Wowser!

There's another 25 or so items listed for the live auction.

Thanks for the tip Ray!

Our Lady of Naju, Korea

Photo: Bloody communion of Julia Kim, the Korean woman who claims to see and receive messages from Our Lady.

This seems so repellent to me, I can't imagine anyone finding devotion through such demonstrations.

Source: Our Lady of Naju

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Another holocaust...

Don't mention the bird flu at Thanksgiving dinner, or the mass slaughter of birds when authorities discover the virus on over-crowded factory farms. People tell me just thinking of burning feathers wrecks their appetite.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Over the river and through the woods...

To Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Everyone in the neighborhood knew her as "Little Red Riding Hood" - the young blond woman with developmental disorders who still lived at home with her alcoholic mother. The mother had no intention of cooking for Thanksgiving and definitely did not want the grandma over to her house - which is the real reason why she sent Little Red over to grandma's with the meal mom picked up from the food shelf on her way home from the liquor store the day before.

"Here - take this to grandma's and fix Thanksgiving dinner for her - and don't stop any place on the way over. You can bring me back the left overs." The mother said, as she mixed a vodka and tonic for herself.
Little Red grabbed the basket, excited she was trusted to go on such a journey and commissioned to cook such an important dinner at that. (Even though granny had Alzheimer's, she still enjoyed a good dinner.)
On the way over Little Red was surprised to see that Walgreen's was open on the holiday, so she thought she would stop in to buy a Thanksgiving card for granny. Red suffered from ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) so when she got in the store she forgot why she went in, and started to try on make-up at the cosmetic counter. After about an hour, she remembered she had been told not to stop anyplace and go straight to grandma's.
Forgetting the card, on her way out of the drug store the security guy stopped her to ask what she had in the basket. Red showed him the dinner and explained she was on her way to granny's house. She went on to tell the guard that granny had Alzheimer's and continued on offering far too much personal information about granny and herself. The guard sent her on her way, advising her that she better hurry or she would be late.
In the meantime, granny assumed she was supposed to go over to Little Red Riding Hood's house, to eat with Red and her mother. Like so many people with Alzheimer's, she got in the car, drove off and was never heard from again. Disappeared without a trace. Thus, when Red got to granny's house, no one was there, so she decided to watch TV. Suddenly there was a knock on the door! It turned out to be the security guard from Walgreen's. Not to fear however, Red had left her purse on the cosmetic counter and he was just returning it.
Anyway - Since granny wasn't home, Red invited him to stay for Thanksgiving dinner. They eventually fell in love and got married. An interesting note, the guard's name was Filbert Wulff, hence the misunderstanding with the Big Bad Wolf thing. Oh, and another reason for the Big Bad Wolf mix-up - both Red and Filbert were suspects in the disappearance of granny, and since there was no evidence - no charges could be filed against them. (Red's mother continues to live by herself, although she has been in and out of rehab.) Yeah, so I guess you can say they lived happily ever after.

The End.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Thanksgiving at the Gretel's...

Dysfunctional fairy tales.

So, after Hansel and Gretel murdered the witch by gassing her in the oven, and then robbing her, they returned home to find that their no-good father was a widower once again. Their wicked step-mother mysteriously died, and the kids were reunited with their dad for Thanksgiving. The End.