Actually that's sort of a rhetorical question - like "Is the pope Catholic?"
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PART I [I added a part II now!]
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When I began blogging I never knew there were so many cliques. I noted blogger award widgets on certain blogs, not realizing the awards were just someone's idea to promote their own blog -
yeah - in a way! I thought to myself, "Wow! These guys are like professionals!" Indeed - some got paid. My favorite blog at the the time was Cafeteria is Closed - Gerald had a crazy combox and was quite traditional at the time. I got into the snark and snappy dialogue.
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Now I've always regarded myself as a traditional Roman Catholic - although not part of any group within that orbit. Little did I know Trads would think of me as a liberal. I know! Man, I was so naive to think that striving to live my life in accord with Church teaching, practicing daily prayer, going to Mass as often as possible - if not daily, while spending time in adoration each week, and trying with great difficulty to be faithful to the duties of my state in life, while searching for ways to exercise myself in works of charity ... not to mention being a stalwart Papist - I actually thought that was the way be a faithful Catholic.
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Yet after beginning the blog, while working amidst better Catholics than myself who on a daily basis showed and told me how much evil had infiltrated the Church - one guy going so far as to call a local bishop the 'antichrist', while others clued me in on all the homosexual priests in the diocese, as well as those who fathered children and drank and gambled too much. Everyone seemed to blame Vatican II for that, and of course, the Novus Ordo Mass. At the same time I learned about the evil AmChurch as the sedevacantists called it, the Bernadine conspiracies, the rash of possessed people just in my archdiocese, as well as the persecution the
real Traditionalists suffered. I was sucked into the outrage over Fr. So and So getting dismissed from his teaching position because of his views on the Jewish problem; and the fact that Fr. So and So had to go elsewhere to be ordained because he was kicked out of the seminary for being too traditional; or that Fr. So and So was exiled from his parish for being too orthodox; and how the archbishop refused to talk to Catholic parents who went public with their objections and conspiracy theories as to how the diocese is being run... and so on and so forth.
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What's my point? My point is this - I got sucked into that negative culture - big time. It is so easy to do, believe me. Especially when you are told things like, "You just might loose your soul if you don't start going to the TLM!" Sure there were problems - there are problems - but calling a bishop the Antichrist? Nevertheless I fell into that
"morbid disposition for arguments and verbal disputes" which Paul warns Timothy about in today's first reading.
"From these come envy, rivalry, insults, evil suspicions and mutual friction..." And I blogged about it. I bought into that crap. And a lot of Catholic bloggers continue to do the exact same thing.
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Very early on a very pietistic fellow blogger helped me see the foibles of a few other women bloggers whom I really knew nothing about except for their books, television appearances, and of course their blogs. I formed my opinions from hearsay and gossip, read a few negative posts on the ladies to get some dirt - and then I wrote a couple of snarky posts about them. All three of the women contacted me at some point asking what they had ever done to me to warrant my negative comments. They called me out - charity. I corresponded with them - some more than others, and hey - I found out they too were faithful Catholics! Whaddya know?! Likewise I used to hear that this blogger or that famous blogger was an unspecified jerk. Although I never read them, I had it in my head something was wrong with them. A couple of years later, I came across their blogs and I started reading these guys - whaddya know?! They were neither jerks or bad Catholics!
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If you don't know it by now, there is a huge negative culture online that does absolutely nothing to attract people to the Church. There are band wagons rolling around the net and if they are not collecting souls, they surely are repelling them. We need to be careful - don't jump on any of them - even if they appear as an angel of light. And if we ourselves start to think we are a stalwart defender of the faith - if we think we are on a mission from God, be really careful: As St. Paul writes:
"watch out lest you fall."
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Just for the record, I'm Roman Catholic. I neither recognize nor do I answer to any other label.
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** UPDATE - ADDENDUM **
PART II
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The real nutcracker, ball-buster, a spade is a spade, whatever you want to call it.
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So what else is behind it, huh? Behind what? Behind the covetousness of blogging? Or why people do not like so and so - or me? You know what I think it is? More often than not I think it is pride, ambition, envy, jealousy and greed and the remembrance of wrongs, and resentment, and, and...
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Yep. I actually wanted to be famous in the beginning of this waste of time. I wanted my blog to get awards and attention. I wanted big people to link to me and link to me and praise me. For instance, I knew a famous priest who had a blog and I asked him if he'd link to me. It wasn't that I admired him or even liked him that much - I just wanted him to link to me. He didn't. So I linked to him - writing some unflattering posts at times. In the beginning, pride, ambition, envy, jealousy, and resentment inspired a few of those posts - although eventually I got over those motivations and just enjoyed his blog for what it is. Like Sr. Vauzou's change of heart towards Bernadette, I actually got to like and admire the man. I hope. My point in revealing this however, is that it wasn't/isn't just me who had/has issues when it comes to other bloggers. Some of you reading this have the exact same issues - your comments and posts tell the story.
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That said, pride, ambition, envy, jealousy and resentment and so many other evil inclinations infected my blogging even about others I never knew. When we feel snubbed, ignored, not taken seriously, some of us get pissed if we are not as detached as we imagined ourselves to be. We try to mortify - or rather
deny the slight - but sometimes it festers. Even with people we claim to like. Once or twice I went to the defense of a blogger or two who felt persecuted and calumniated, incurring the wrath of their attackers - who subsequently punished me by no longer linking to me. Eye roll. Eventually I myself said something to offend the sensibilities of one or two of these damsels in distress, and suffered the loss of their friendship. Ever since, I think of these women whenever I reflect upon or write about my own predisposition to ambition, envy, jealousy and resentment. They taught me much about myself.
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Not all bloggers are like this of course - but some of us can be. Many of us like to claim we are persecuted and suffer violence for the kingdom of God, or we are in some dark night of the soul, or purification of the spirit to suffer so much - and yet, truth be told,
'what goes around comes around' and most of us deserve what we get. I know I do. And yes dear martyrs, it can be a purification of sorts, after we recognize and acknowledge that we ourselves are usually the problem.
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To paraphrase St. Paul from today's first reading:
"Those who want to be famous, award winning bloggers are falling into temptation and a trap and into many and foolish harmful desires, which plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of riches, fame, power, self-opinion and pride is the root of all evils, and some people in their desire for it have strayed from the faith and have pierced themselves with many pains." It's so true. If you don't believe me, just remember that in the past year we've seen a few examples of how great the fall can be. Or just read the comboxes of posts that have well over 100 comments. You'll see what I'm talking about.
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Yeah - I think that about covers it for today. I know. TMI. (Too much information - and much too long - again.)
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Art: Death's Bandwagon