Monday, October 17, 2016

A trip to nowhere ...

This weekend I signed up for Facebook - again - but just to contact an old friend. To say, Hello, old friend. It was fun - I was silly again - making fun and saying dumb things. Then the 'let's get together, let's do dinner' thing came up. I went silent. It's not that I don't love them any more ... I ... have no excuse.

Late last night, I searched for other old friends.  Family and friends and friends who had been my family.  I found several and looked in on them without saying anything.  I looked at their photos and their parties and saw them on their trips.  I saw their families; parents, kids, friends, weddings, Las Vegas trips, on and on.  Many people - most of them - I haven't seen in 10, 20, even 30 years.  I still recognized them.  They all looked good, happy, fit - just like I remember them.

Some of these people I walked away from - some I ran from - some just disappeared.  Again, it's not that I didn't love them.  I was working on a project - that's still not finished.  Like the poem.  If we got together, it wouldn't make sense at this point.  I really do not have anything new to tell them.  It would be useless to explain to them that they were mistaken as to why I left or what went wrong or why I couldn't stay.  They wouldn't believe how much I miss them - but we live so far apart - although they remain deeply in my heart.  

The Art of Disappearing 

When they say Don't I know you?
say no.

When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like 
before answering.
Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.

If they say We should get together
say why?

It's not that you don't love them anymore.
You're trying to remember something
too important to forget.
Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.

When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven't seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don't start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.  -Naomi Shihab Nye

Maybe I can write more about it someday.


  1. What a wonderful thing to read today Terry: I understand -
    and; the poem -
    one I can breath in.

    1. I love that poem - a friend sent it to me a few years ago.

  2. Love the painting. Went to the Wikipedia site to learn more but it was all in German! What can you tell us about it and the artist?

    1. Nothing - but I will read more about him and let you know.

  3. also the painting is ... mythic. I am so grateful for the art work you bring us to feast our eyes upon.
    In fact, in my weekly psych. session, I begin each week with something I find hilarious; "what am I grateful for" etc: so I mentioned this today.
    My great refuge these days is the new TOME by Emmett O'Regan: It is my secret weapon. All I have to do for a paid-vacation in the psych ward is, probably, to sit in the waiting room and peruse it.
    ahh...modern life.
    to think I live a scant 3 hours from much of the greatest art: without gps however it would indeed be a hurculean journey. I used to enjoy it when Fr. Z would post pictures of his visits, particularly the birds, in the paintings of Christ with His Mother.


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