Every year I make my lament...
"Many wish to come into this port, and many make great efforts to do so, yet do not achieve it. Indeed many, after reaching it, have been thrust out, since it was not granted to them from above.
Therefore, my brothers, you should consider it certain and well established that whoever partakes of this desirable good, should he in any way lose it, will grieve to his death, if he has any concern for the salvation of his soul." -Letters of St. Bruno. Office of Readings.
Each year I read it, what I know by heart...
Pray for us St. Bruno, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
In a parable to Br. Leo, I think it was, St. Francis explained it was perfect joy to be rejected and not admitted to the friary. Thus, barring admittance to the ermetical life, it seems to me St. Catherine of Siena tells us where we can go to find that holy solitude which unites us to God:
Build yourself a spiritual cell, which you can always take with you, and that is the cell of self-knowledge; you will find there also the knowledge of God's goodness to you. There are really two cells in one, and if you live in one you must also live in the other, otherwise the soul will either despair or be presumptuous; if you dwelt in self-knowledge alone you would despair; if you dwelt in knowledge of God alone you would be tempted to presumption. One must go with the other, and thus you will reach perfection. - St. Catherine of Siena