Friday, August 31, 2012

May-December "Romances"...

I don't know what caused me to think about this topic?  But ...

There is a 2007 film documentary titled Chris and Don, A Love Story - it's a study of a proto-gay-marriage relationship between the author Christopher Isherwood and his partner, artist Don Bachardy.  It's a very interesting study and quite revealing as regards gay relationships and the accommodations they require.  Neither Isherwood nor Bachardy desired to be 'married' in the traditional sense - in the film Bachardy asks "why would we need a piece of paper to say that?"  Which is essentially the same argument straight couples who choose to co-habitate have made - one hears Hollywood couples repeat it all the time.  Nevertheless, Bachardy states that he feels if same-sex couples* want to get married** - they should be allowed to do so.  I doubt Isherwood would have agreed.

Quick history:  Don met Chris when Don was in his teens - they moved in together when Don was 18 -  and Isherwood was 30 years his senior.  Isherwood liked younger men - teens - that is evident from his days in pre-WWII Berlin.  Don was much younger when they met - perhaps 15 or 16.  It ought to be noted, in addition to the age difference, there was also a class difference.  That is important when considering a younger person's attraction to an older gentleman.

If I recall correctly, Christopher Isherwood was actually interested in Don's brother at first.  Both boys frequented the gay beach - a rendezvous for gay sex.  I'm quite sure boys as young as 14 made themselves available.  In larger cities, similar encounters took place in parks and recreation areas - notorious for such things, as well as beaches and pools, latrines and gyms.  People don't like to discuss such things.  Although it is one of the hidden reasons why efforts to lower the age of consent keep coming up in Europe and elsewhere.  There are psychological studies and papers written today, discussing the topic - and of course, there are horrible pro-pedophilia discussions bandied about these days. Most people do not want to deal with the issue however - they don't want to know - they would rather sweep it under the rug.

While same-sex marriage grows in acceptance and popularity.

In the pre-Stonewall era Isherwood’s increasingly acute political consciousness led him to make “the treatment of the homosexual a test by which every political party and government must be judged.” - NYT Review of Chris and Don

Looks as if that is happening today in our political climate.

Kids need real moms and dads - if they don't have them, some will go looking for someone to watch over them ...

*couples.  I wonder if the word derives from copulate?  Just a thought.

**Interesting link on gay parenting study:

University Vindicates Mark Regnerus
The University of Texas at Austin announced Wednesday that a sociologist who has been excoriated by some in the media over a study showing that parents’ homosexual relationships can have negative effects on children is innocent of academic misconduct.


  1. It isn't that the word couples comes from copulate. The word copulate comes from the word couples.

    Interesting note: in the renaissance (early modern) era it was quite common to use the word couples to mean copulates. It was also common to use the word "couch" to mean the same thing.

    1. Thanks! See how intuitive I am? haha! Anyway - the connection says something about appropriate relationships I think.

  2. I was abused. It's a lifelong deal, subject to this or that eckkksspert's considered study and report. In the meantime, you get on with it, pray your rosary, often focusing on the sorrowful mysteries. Because Jesus will meet with you there. It's where He waits, for someone, to watch, with Him, for one hour.

    Look around. Lots of people waiting, in anticipation, for a soul, to watch with them, for one hour.

    Ros (who hates wishlists)just deal with whoever the Lord puts in front of you, in any given day. That's what duty is. Doing the next right thing. Whoever, whatever. (Heard that, on an A.A. tape.

    1. Very good advice - thanks. I like this very much:

      "Because Jesus will meet with you there. It's where He waits, for someone, to watch, with Him, for one hour."

  3. I appreciate what you wrote so much, shadowlands. God has truly blessed you with the ability to zero in on the essence of things with a remarkable economy of words.

    For what it's worth (probably nothing!) I don't think anybody ever did a lovelier version of "Someone To Watch Over Me" than Linda Ronstadt with the Nelson Riddle Orchestra. She sings with such a depth of yearning that the song sounds like a prayer.


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