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As an alcoholic, Bodnarchuk too often experienced the feeling, as he describes it, of the "moral culpability of the alcoholic and the moral superiority of the helper. Even though unstated, they are always clearly understood," he said. "Today in my ministry, rather than say, ‘This is what you've got to do,' I instead offer this: ‘Yes, I understand. This is what happened to me, and this is what I did.' I am personally convinced that the basic search of all human beings is to find at least one other person before whom we can stand completely naked, stripped of all pretense or defense, and trust that that person will not hurt us because, in fact, that other person has stripped him/herself naked, too. That lifelong search can begin to conclude with that very first spiritual encounter with another individual who says, 'This is what I did, too.' Judgment, morality, and religious condemnation simply have no place in the discussion of addiction." - Rev. Bradford Bodnarchuk, Roman Catholic priest.
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H/T to Shadowlands
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Art: T. Nelson after Eleanor Rigby
Well said.
ReplyDeleteThis principle is at the heart of the ministry my husband and I volunteer with:
http://www.retrouvaille.org/
a lifeline for troubled marriages (French for rediscovery) a Catholic peer-to-peer program of wounded healers ie couples who have survived an event or circumstances sharing their journey with those in similar straights who feel they can't make it.
Participation in healing rather than piling on more hurt! (N.B. verification anagram: hurit or "I hurt" cute coincidence if you believe in such things or one of God's mysterious ways?)