Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Man kills the man who sexually abused him.

Pleads no contest to manslaughter...
A California man pleaded no contest to voluntary manslaughter with the use of a gun Tuesday in the shooting death of a man who he claimed sexually abused him as a teen, a prosecutor said.
The plea comes less than a week before Aaron Vargas' first-degree murder trial was supposed to start for the slaying of Darrell McNeill, a neighbor from his childhood and a family friend whom Vargas claims began molesting him when he was 11 years old.
Under the terms of a plea deal, Vargas, now 32, faces anywhere from probation to 10 years in prison for shooting the former Boy Scout leader and local businessman last year in his home in the Northern California community of Fort Bragg.  - Story
One might editorialize this story on so many different levels.  Pointing out that the perpetrator wasn't a priest or a bishop, but a neighbor, a husband,  a Boy Scout leader and a community business man, a friend of the family.  The victim is now an adult married man with a child.  The secret was kept for years, and the perpetrator remained a family friend, making regular visits to the family, etc., etc..
No one has the right to murder another person or take the law into their own hands, yet even the murdered man's wife believes the shooter should be shown some clemency:  "I cannot condone what Aaron has done, but I do understand it. I believe he took the wrong avenue by taking the law into his own hands. Like most of this community, I do not feel he deserves 50 years in prison. Unlike most of this community, I feel he should serve some time, but not much."
That is an incredible position to take by this widow who just lost her husband.  Everyone else seems to believe the shooter needs therapy rather than a jail sentence.  In these cases, the best therapy can accomplish is for the victim to learn how to cope with life - the harm has already been done - the wounds never go away.
I know from experience how disgusting it is to live with the fact the perpetrator continues to visit the victim's family... that happened to me as well.  I never killed the guy - I moved far away from my family instead.  For me, the worst part of it was that everyone knew what happened, and yet he was still welcome in the house.
Sexual abuse kills.


  1. "For me, the worst part of it was that everyone knew what happened, and yet he was still welcome in the house."

    You knocked me out cold with that one. That's terrible.

  2. My EX-Fil molested his daughter. My ex-MIL is still married to him 35 years later. Now that is SICK.

  3. 'Sexual abuse kills.'

    Yes, it does.

  4. Your disclosure touched my heart in a very personal way. I will keep you in particular prayer.


  5. Anonymous7:36 AM

    Your pain reminds me of what Our Lady told the beloved Bernadette: I can not promise you happiness in this life.

    That's hard to accept, but Our Lady seems to be a realist. :)

  6. A friend of mine was molested by her cousin. When she told what happened she was sent away and the cousin stayed. That's a hard pill for her swallow to this day.

  7. Austringer10:56 AM

    "For me, the worst part of it was that everyone knew what happened, and yet he was still welcome in the house."

    This is such a shocking betrayal that words fail. I am stunned. I can't imagine getting past this -- Terry, clearly you have depths and strengths and the grace of God in your life to have survived this.

    You're in my prayers. I know I'm supposed to pray for all sinners, as we are sinners ourselves, but to be perfectly frank I'm trying to fight off a sincere and passionate wish that those who betrayed you are rotting painfully in hell, and I'm not succeeding.

    How is it possible for God to love us when we're capable of such evil...

  8. Terry: I am so sorry for you. My prayers. Thank you for your courage to make this known.
    The horrific nature of the sexual abuse of children is something that only those who have experienced it can know through and through. And to have it constantly before you is even a worse degradation.
    The violence that erupts from the betrayal and the exploitation of a child is something that only God can heal.
    I am so sorry to hear of this tragic event; the Lord is certainly "crucified" each time a child's innocence is taken...all of those involved in this situation are to be given compassion, prayers and reparation.
    My heart is heavy.

  9. Anonymous2:38 PM

    Terry, God bless you. I love you, hon.

    Fittingly, today's Divine Mercy Novena intention is for the souls of little children. I remembered you when I prayed it today.

  10. Maria5:45 PM

    Terry--I am so very sorry. Imponderable. Only those who have suffered the seemingly unforgivable and find God's love on the other end truly know the meaning of mercy. This is a subject with which I am familiar.

  11. Sexual abuse is wrong, sick and evil.....these people should never be in a position to hurt others ever again......murder is wrong, in my mind never can be justified. Letting someone live out their lives in prison to me is more of a punishment than the death penalty. That is too quick too easy. Let these people live in a confined space with no access to innocent people, perhaps in some way they can find peace in their heart through finding matter what has been done they still need our prayers......:-) Hugs

  12. It blows my mind that people could abide to be in the company of someone who hurt a child in this way; but I have seen it happen. As the saying goes, denial is not just a river in Egypt.
    My prayers are with you, Terry, for your continued healing.

  13. Maria7:36 PM

    I have read so many article lately thaT I cannot honestly remember who said this; however, it was, I believe, a Cardinal. He describes sexual abuse as "spiritual homicide". Best descriptor I have ever seen.

  14. I hear it time and time again--the abuser is tolerated and yes welcomed because ya know, he IS family, plus he's a good provider for his family, and what would the wife/kids do without him??

    I even heard one incident so bad--the husband was raping his step daughter, the mother's own flesh and blood, because the husband wanted kinky sex and the wife didn't want to go along with at least he was leaving the wife alone...

    Us women need to be STRONG and tell these men that this behavior will not be accepted nor tolerated and the police will be called....

    In my case--I'd just as soon "take out the trash." My S&W .38 with 125 gr hollowpoint will work quite nicely...


  15. Maria8:14 PM

    Sara--LOL. You said it.

  16. Hey, Sara, just aim between the perp's legs or at his kneecap.
    Don't go to jail for Homicide 1.
    The freackin' jerk isn't worth it:<)!
    Plus, he'll have a continual reminder to "keep it in his pants" or else!

  17. Thanks everyone - now I feel bad I posted this because I don't want people feeling bad about this. I have really come to terms with the stuff that happened to me - I just feel pain that these things keep happening to kids. I just pray - I always pray for kids that no one will harm them ever.

  18. Terry: Please don't feel bad.
    We are all in solidarity with the victims of abuse; we all are in solidarity with you.
    The harm that children undergo is just horrid; and your prayers are answered, I am sure of it.
    Peace to you.

  19. Hey NP--

    Ah ya know Your Honor..I was a cleaning my handy dandy little firearm here, getting ready for the deer hunt, a sweet little number my dear sweet pa gave me, and wouldn't ya know, it accidently went off, and poor Uncle Bubba just HAPPENED to be standing right there in the line of fire, and got it right between the eyeballs...what a tragic ACCIDENT...we are so broke up over it (big crocodile tears..)

  20. Sara: Whatever works, dear.
    Poor Uncle Bubba.
    Make sure to have Masses said for his poor pitiable soul:<)!

  21. Anonymous4:09 PM

    Sex abuse murders the spirit. They get away with it so much because the victims remain quiet--and the victims remain quiet for the intense shame imprinted on them by the perpetrators. They don't have the strength or the trust that they--the weak--can overtake what appears to them to be the strong. Until, in this case--they grow from 11 years old to 32.

    But, the abuser, like satan--is just a miniscle spot next to the very large and infinite God--Jesus can heal the spirit after it's been so torn apart by the evil, and the perpertrators--if they do not get justice in this lifetime--will meet with justice after they die--an eternity in Hell. Not a good trade off for hurting the little innocent children of God.


Please comment with charity and avoid ad hominem attacks. I exercise the right to delete comments I find inappropriate. If you use your real name there is a better chance your comment will stay put.