"Are we prepared to promote conditions in which the living contact with God can be reestablished? For our lives today have become godless to the point of complete vacuity. God is no longer with us in the conscious sense of the word. He is denied, ignored, excluded from every claim to have a part in our daily life." - Alfred Delp, S.J.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Sorry I'm late with these.



New Year Resolutions.

.

I'm going to lose weight, get a hair transplant, a nose job, an eye lift, and breast reduction surgery.

.

I'm going to find a way to be always drunk without weight gain.

.

I'm going to start an online talk show called "Up Your Street" - after I heal from the surgery of course.

.

I'm going to finish my tell-all book about my life, including details of my torrid affair with Gilbert Gottfried.

.

I'm going to sell my Mercedes and buy a Honda - out of concern for the poor who have to take the bus.

.

And most importantly, I will never tell a lie again - ever.

5 comments:

  1. LOL!

    You have such a witty sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anne-France9:22 PM

    I have the right place for you, you'll fit right in: move to Austin, TX. The city motto is: Keep Austin Weird.
    Thanks for your humor, Terry!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ter: I thought you were going to write volume II of your memoirs: "Eat ----, and Die!"? Volume I being: "F--- You, Everyone!"

    Just curious. I can't wait for Volume II. Volume I was gripping stuff! I couldn't leave my bathroom for days!

    XXXOOO

    ReplyDelete
  4. ROTFLMAO

    ReplyDelete


Please comment with charity and avoid ad hominem attacks. I exercise the right to delete comments I find inappropriate. If you use your real name there is a better chance your comment will stay put.