Don't hold your breath ... they won't let you.
That's according to Terry Mattingly - kind of.
Responding to the recent Washington Post article on the Fr. Charasma coming out story, which claimed, "Not all gay Catholics are pleased about how Vatican priest came out of the closet." Mattingly asks if the Post delivered on that. I read the original story after several people emailed me links to it - I'd say the Post did not deliver on it - pretty much because there were no recognizable names quoted as being disappointed by Charasma's over sharing and momentary celebrity as a gay-priest-in-love.
That said - what is interesting in Mattingly's piece is his citation of the "three essential groups of LGBT Catholics involved that reporters need to quote." Here is the list.
(1) Gay Catholics who are openly calling for change in church teachings, saying (usually) that the Holy Spirit is now moving to correct 2,000 years of flawed Christian doctrines.
(2) Gay Catholics who – often because they are in key academic or ecclesiastical posts – are quietly working behind the scenes to change church doctrines slowly over time. It's kind of the "you do what you can do" approach. Critics would call it the "stay in your church closet" approach.
(3) Gay Catholics who support Catholic doctrines on marriage and sex, including teachings on same-sex acts, even though that is a painful reminder of the sinful, fallen nature of all of God's creation (or words to that effect). Many want the church to do a much better job of listening to the real, pastoral concerns of all kinds of Catholics who struggle with sexuality issues. - Source
Works for me - I think. Not to leave anyone out, so the question has to be asked: Does #3 include Courage people? Or are they a fourth category. Or no category because they are same sex attracted - not gay, lgbtq, homosexual or any sexuality ... ? Que?
I suppose these distinction are important for journalists, academics, mental health professionals, counselors and therapists or spiritual directors, and of course priests and deacons and gay Catholics who devote their lives to the study of all things gay, same sex attraction, homosexual, non-sexual-orientation (neither homo or hetero), gender, gender queer - okay, I'll stop.
We spend a lot of time writing and discussing these issues, categories, distinctions - whatever academics and statisticians want to categorize it as. What that means for ordinary people - men and women - guys and gals, if you will, is that a lot of us can spend a lot of time and effort trying to convince others that we are really good people. Especially if we are chaste and celibate, we seem to be required to make sure others know we really are faithful to Catholic teaching. We are faithful, we use only the correct terminology, and yup - we are celibate chaste and don't want to have sex - oh, and did I mention faithful?
I also think others in the top three listed groups do some role playing for auditors as well.
This stuff maybe works for studies and reports and conferences - since that's your job, and to be sure, we must study, teach and clarify doctrine for those interested. In that context I understand one has to insist on appropriate terms and identities - for one another. For your audience. For your seminary classes, your family conferences, your RCIA programs - what have you. I get that.
Personally - the academic discussions get a little boring and set apart from reality - the reality of ordinary life in modern times. The arguments and discussions gets a little over people's heads I think. At any rate, it's not an issue for me, not something I feel I have to live up to. I feel a little sad, maybe a bit more impatient, with and for the people who torment themselves with these debates and struggle to be whatever they think they are or are not or should be. There are so many voices out there trying to define you or correct you or make you live up to some sort of ideal.
Yeah - well. Move on.
Someone will always be there to label you.
There is a lot of dishonesty which accompanies all of that. In fact, there is nothing more pathetic than gay Catholics who often weave in and out of doctrine and 'observance'. Always focused upon sexual inclination/temptation, constructing/de-constructing identity, vain rejoicing in narcissistic efforts involving image, constantly seeking approval, and so on. The approval/acceptance can sometimes dictate behavior - be it celebrating one's repentance and return to the sacraments, or just the courage to come out or celebrate falling in love like Fr. Krzy. Everything passes - emotions are fleeting, satisfaction is not lasting.
If there is anything I've learned is this. Seek God. Seek to please him alone. Pray. Ask him to help you. Follow what the Church actually teaches on sexuality and marriage. Keep the commandments. Go to confession. Frequent the sacraments - pray. If you fall, get up again. Pray. Surrender your life to God - seek his way of holiness. If an angel of light or even some fruitcake Dominican theologian appears to you as St. Thomas Aquinas approving homosexuality, do not believe him.
Don't allow others to tell you how to think or how to identify - understand that your life is hidden with Christ in God - strive to identify with Jesus Christ. Don't get embroiled in the discussions swirling around online - or be tempted to doubt what your conscience - in accord with Catholic teaching - convicts you of. Do not try to please men - to live for the approval and acceptance of others. Leave all that behind - consider it so much rubbish.
Remember Lot's wife.
Let the dead bury their dead.
Follow Christ. Be faithful to Catholic teaching as defined in the catechism and approved Magisterial teachings. Be faithful to Christ in the Eucharist. Remember that Church doctrine cannot change and that the gates of hell shall not prevail against the Church - guided by the Pope.
Do not be afraid. Be careful of reading too much stuff online.
Evidently these two categories no longer exist?
Song for this post here.