Thursday, February 26, 2015

Vatican issues new guidelines for Pontifices: Caution Labels mandated for cappa magna: Capes can be dangerous!*

Editors note: The cappa magna ("great cape"), 
is a voluminous ecclesiastical vestment with a long train.
The cappa magna is not strictly a liturgical vestment, 
but only a glorified cappa choralis, or choir cope.

Why the new guidelines?

Ask Madonna ...

Madonna's shocking fall backwards while a dancer
attempted to remove her beautiful cape during a
performance.  Trooper that she is, the elderly singer,
flat on the floor, continued with her song, ironically belting out the

Madonna claimed to be unhurt and continued
with the performance, but a nursing assistant
tweeted this photo of the star going upstairs 
to the bathroom in her home.

Unconfirmed reports suggest Vatican spokesman, Fr. Rosica 
leaked to reporters that the new regulations
 are a sign of the Holy Father's deep concern for the 
safety of those prelates 'who like to travel and dress up'.

Outside the Vatican sources insist the new mandate was 
necessary after the Holy Father saw photos of
Madonna's fall on stage.  Conscious of his own missteps, 
the concerned Pope reportedly told kitchen workers:
'Pontifical Masses can be just as dangerous for elderly prelates
going up and down all those stairs, with swarms of altar boys underfoot.'

*H/T Jackie


  1. Elderly? Madonna is only 56 -- Just a youngster. Did you write that, Terry? I hope not. If so, wash your mouth out with soap.

    1. LOL! I did - can I rinse with liquid soap instead? Anyway - I wasn't finished editing. Have a great day!

      Signed: Trouble in MPLS

    2. Elderly? Non-issue. I read on another site she was referred to as "AARP eligible." She still has a spring in her step but will have to proceed with a bit less passion. ;p

      That photoshop pic of her going up/coming down the stairs is fab.

    3. Gee I had no idea I was soo much younger than her miaow

  2. Good to see you goofy again!

    1. Yeah. Well - I was listening to some old songs last night and thought of you (and others) who love someone and decided I can't tell people how to live or what to call themselves. I liked this:

      I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home
      When I climb the stairs and turn the key
      Oh, please be there, still in love
      I said still in love
      Still in love with me ...

      People fall in love - who am I to judge.

    2. You weren't telling anyone how to live..just telling people how you's good and an interesting discussion...though as with most things better done in person and after a great meal and over good drinks..internet discussions loose all nuances. You can call me anything you want..just don't call me late for dinner!

      Love your goofy sense of humor!

    3. By the way what song are those lyrics from??? I like them..

    4. It's "A House Is Not A Home"

      A great version here:

    5. Luther Vandross does it really well too - maybe better.

    6. Terry,

      La Madonna claims she suffered whiplash and soreness from her fall. Poor thing. Next day she was pictured wearing some really scary wedgies. I hope she does not sustain a fall from those. ;p

      Speaking of humor...have you read the latest from El Vaticano? It seems chismes are on the rise again with suspicious leaks to the press. Fr. Lombardi had to go to bat and then Cardinal Pell did a follow-up the next day to dispel the rumors floating around the Curia and whatnot.

      He had this to say as well...

      "After yesterday’s statements from Vatican spokesman Fr. Federico Lombardi, the response from the Secretariat for the Economy was just as blunt. Both were in relation to the inquiries published in the latest issue of Italian news magazine L’Espresso, titled “Santa Romana Spesa” (Holy Roman Expenditures), on newsstands yesterday.
      The Secretariat’s statement concludes by clarifying that contrary to L’Espresso’s report, the Australian cardinal “does not have a Cappa Magna” (a long and grandiose liturgical mantle)."

      I had a much needed chuckle after reading that great line. <3

  3. Madge would never use the chair lift thing; she'd sit in a chair and have a couple of hotties carry her upstairs, chair and all. Until she moves into the new assisted living facility.

    What? Even pop stars get old.


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