Friday, February 06, 2015

Something Aaron Taylor wrote about chaste gay celibate friends...

It's taken from the US Catholic bishops’ document, Principles to Guide Confessors in Questions of Homosexuality (1973) and it is something I have never come across before.

A homosexual can have an abiding relationship with another homosexual without genital sexual expression. Indeed, the deeper need of any human is for friendship rather than genital sexual expression … If a homosexual person has progressed under the direction of a confessor, but in the effort to develop a stable relationship with a given person has occasionally fallen into a sin of impurity, he should be absolved and instructed to take measures to avoid the elements which lead to sin without breaking off a friendship which has helped him grow as a person. If the relationship, however, has reached a stage where the homosexual person is not able to avoid overt actions, he should be admonished to break off the relationship. (p. 10-11) - US Catholic bishops’ document, Principles to Guide Confessors in Questions of Homosexuality (1973) - Spiritual Friendship blog

Aaron Taylor's essay is well worth the read and our consideration.  Stealing the words of  Eve Tushnet in the SF com box,  Aaron's essay makes it easier for people "to avoid falling into the cultural default in which all important relationships between adults are viewed through the lens of romance". Or, in the words of Polish Archbishop Henryk Hoser, avoid the sexualization of friendship - which has proved so detrimental to our contemporary view of BFF same sex friends.

Song for this post here.



  1. Wow..I hate to agree with Austin Ruse and that Deacon guy who is thinks he is the KIng of Catholic Married Thought....but, aren't people who live with each other, share their life with each other, support each other, help raise their kids together, make dinner together, etc really having a "romantic relationship."? I mean, there can be a romantic relationship with out sex. I don't care how someone lives their lives...I think that everyone should have someone in their lives who they support and supports them and they can call it whatever they like,have sex, don't have sex, etc.. but I think the Spiritual Friendship people are really splitting hairs here...and of course, going along with the Church's bugaboo about SEX..."Its okay if I am basically married to my partner as long as we don't get it on.."

    I guess the point I am trying to make is that these people are indeed in gay, romantic relationships, just without the sex....which I think you can ask any straight or gay couple after about 20 years together is par for the course : )

    Not to mention those people who are in" mixed orientation marriages..." talk about weirdos!!!!

    1. BTW - I posted the lower photo just for you.

      Maybe the Spiritual Friendship people are really the mental cases then? (I'm not saying which ones.)

      What happens when the sex AND the romance goes out? That's spiritual friendship then?

      You are correct however - it's all hair splitingly queer. (Of course you can't say queer and be Catholic.)

      I told you I know two guys in a split orientation marriage right? They wouldn't call it that - but that's pretty much what at least one of them is/was. Back when they married it was called "You just think you're gay."

    2. Ah...Harmony! My fave town right after Sunnydale, Woodbury, Storybrooke and Collinsport!


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