There is no such thing as an old fashioned Thanksgiving.
It's a marketing tool now. So many people don't care. They go shopping instead.
Now 'if' you are expected to show up at a family gathering - like the old fashioned Thanksgivings in the 1940's movies, you can do that. You can be on your best behavior - or not. You can have a Stepford Thanksgiving, or depending on income - a Flo's Thanksgiving. Actually, you can do whatever you want.
So what is my point?
There is no ideal Thanksgiving. Forced get-togethers with no talking about real life is probably the norm for many families. Pretending to get along. Eating too much. Watching football, going shopping, or going to the casino is what many can hardly wait to do after dinner is over. Complaining about Uncle Poodle or Mom getting too drunk to serve, or the kid's tattoos and piercings - under your breath, before arriving or after you leave is also pretty common. You know what I mean?
Even those good big 'C' Catholics grit their teeth when the dreaded 'c'atholic liberals show up.
Anyway - Here's what inspired my post - comments from Stir Up Sunday pretty much reminded me of the dread experienced by the 'best' of them ...
Comment: 4th annual fruitcake baking party at our house and hopefully zero political conversation as most of our visitors are “c”atholics. I figure we can kill them with kindness.
Response: Yes, be so sweet they will feel like they just ate maple syrup.
And that's fine. That's 'nice' too.
Remember when Catholic bloggers used to blog about how being nice was bad - you know - it was because it paralleled the 'church of nice' and secular, liberal, tolerance ideals ... you know who and what I'm talking about.
Just remember, some of your guests will be there because they are just being 'nice' and trying to be 'tolerant' of you. Maybe you should talk about that.
I would encourage guests to be honest with one another while they sit down together for whatever kind of Thanksgiving dinner they choose to participate in. Don't sentimentalize it - just be who you are and live and let live.
And give thanks.
Bonus: Did you know?
The Pilgrims and the Native Americans were not particularly identified with Thanksgiving until about 1900, though interest in the Pilgrims as historic figures began shortly before the American Revolution. - Source
Oh! Oh! The Pilgrims were Calvinists - so I suppose the self-righteous attitudes so characteristic of contemporary big "C" religious people is a carry over from the original Thanksgiving, and in keeping with tradition. Enjoy!
Happy Holidays!
Song for this post here.
Ha. I just called Thanksgiving the most over rated meal of the year. Over the past week I thought very hard about all the Thanksgivings of my life, and decided I hated them all. Sitting around with people you don't really like and eating a dinner guaranteed to make you feel horrible. And don't even get me started on the "children's table." I do like turkey sandwiches the next day, though.
ReplyDeleteIf you have family members you like to get together with, pick a different time of the year to do so - like maybe when the weather and travel conditions are not so horrific.
That being said, have a nice Thanksgiving, Terry.
See - we were made for each other!
DeleteBonus! Puritans hated Catholics! :D
ReplyDeletehttp://wpo.st/xUCG2
Thanks for the link - I wish I had read that one first.
DeleteThat was a good article, full of things I did not know or suspect. so much for expensive history classes.
DeleteIt wasn't until Maryland was founded as a home for wayward Catholics that there was a colony with religious freedom. The rest were all hell no to the cemetery Catholics. What?
DeleteWow, every party needs a pooper so that is why Thanksgiving invited you Terry...
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving is great, it doesn't have all the expectation of Christmas, it is not as loud and in your face as Christmas, there are no lawsuits about putting or not putting plastic turkeys and pilgrims int the town square, no presents, no bad movies on Lifetime about a hard bitten career woman moving back to her small hometown but meeting a hunky down to earth guy..but they fight, until her heart is opened up by love...its not as saccharined out as Christmas (and thank God no songs about it) its all about food and wine, lighting a fire, relaxing for the day (well not the host and the cook) its about the harvest..not twinkling lights, and its one day, in and out, done we move on with our lives, kind of holiday.
You are so well adjusted.
DeletePooh, let's sue because there aren't plastic pilgrims and turkeys!
DeleteAbbey Roads Interventions and Recovery Services - this :)
ReplyDeleteHi Jackie! Glad you picked up on that. FYI - I quit Facebook already.
DeleteI am fortunate then since my brother and sister-in-law always have a small get together with my precious nieces, nephews and their kids. I feel right at home and just take it easy.
ReplyDeleteI will go to Mass tonight and give thanks as well I should every day. ^^
Terry, have a Happy Thanksgiving and I wish all of your readers a Happy Thanksgiving too. God bless you all!
Happy Thanksgiving to you too - I'll still post family friendly posts throughout the holidays.
DeleteOf course you will! ^^)
Delete....great song: often I have a visual image of you Terry: painting, or ruminating over a painting, with music like this hovering about. remember reel-to-reel ? One of the more obscure things I thank God for is that I had this music of my era....raw and true. Wish I could find my Blind Faith cd.
ReplyDeleteAnother track 'some' of us have laid down in childhood is this very anxiety, angst which resurrects annually. Being alone adds the piquant dollop, the cherry on top ! Here is Pa, as I drive 2.5 hours to join my tribe, I will in addition to the Regular stuff in my head, will be the ever-present scanning for deer leaping in front of/on my car.
Happy Thanksgiving to one and all ! (anyone reading this: please...give a brief plea to Our Lord: that I don't kill any animals there or back...having hit/been hit by deer three times I don't know if I can take it any more...)
Happy Thanksgiving! Were you really hit by a deer?! LOL! - sorry - can't help it.
DeleteI actually hardly ever listen to music and when I paint I only listen to and pray along to the rosary - over and over. So the Hail Mary repeats in my head like a constant prayer.
Oh that is wonderful to hear: sort of an a capella of prayer. I say over and over the Memorare...begging Our Lady...
DeleteYes ! I Have been hit by Deer ! what: you don't have any on those flat 'highways' of Minnesota ? all cornfields, I guess, whereas here, woods come right up to heavily trafficked roads: the one who jumped up onto me oops the hood of my car, then slid onto the roof, was barely a mile and a half from my little house. I had thought maybe he was not mortally injured, but friends who 'knew' this young buck told me that yup, he died later.
hey ! it FEELS like they hit ME - and it feels like a big injury to see that they suffer and die due to ... um, me. my car. civilization. Thanksgiving. driving after 3 pm.
I agree with Mack. Thanksgiving is one holiday that has not been taken over by the commercial powers that be. We could probably use make prayer and less food but the Macy's parade is fun for kids, old movies with a Christmas theme and relaxed family togetherness.I remember Thanksgiving as a child to be a calm family holiday lacking the drama of Christmas. Politics and opinions about religious issues are forbidden in my hose on this day. We all know what the others believes anyway. As I age I find I am returning to a love of Advent and Christmas minus the gifts. It is really a very beautiful spiritual time if you block out the consumerism.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Puritans they were an odd bunch. If memory serves me right they would have starved to death had not those noble native Americans come to their rescue. They returned the favor by driving them off their own land. It does not surprise me that they hated Catholics. The Pope and all that. It is still around today. Just look on the internet or talk to a serious evangelical and you will get an earful about how we are really pagans on the road to hades. Ironic how a religion of love can harbor so much hate.
I must've had a deprived childhood. We never did a pilgrim toss at our Thanksgiving dinner. I think "home for the holidays" is a more true to life holiday movie.
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving at my American grandma's house - sweet potatoes with marshmallows, green bean casserole with onions on top, peas with pearl onions, whipped butter, 3 kinds of pie...she's too old and feeble to cook any of it now but it's a sweet memory. Oh, and smoking American cigarettes (so aromatic compared to Canadian ones!)and sipping a Seagram's and 7 in the basement at Grandpa Lou's 'Pussy Cat Lounge'. Good times :)
ReplyDeleteoh yum ! smoking cigarettes and drinking booze ! and the feast you describe: a true family feast. Have a wonderful one, Angela: remember how great it was to smoke ? its been...since 11/02/93 for me....I was healed of it through the intercessions of the Holy Souls, one of the miracles in my life.
ReplyDeleteVanity has its virtues I suppose as I could never really allow myself to indulge in cigarettes and alcohol since I wanted to always looks my best by avoiding anything that would ruin my complexion. ;p
DeleteBoys, music, dancing ... those were my weakness and despite my old age, they still are. ^^)
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Consolata - I finally quit for good in 1995. I wasn't a "real" smoker - just liked a puff with my drink to be "sociable". Oh, how times have changed! My cousin has taken on the dinner now - with 5 kinds of pie! Here in Canada we celebrated over a month ago.
DeleteHappy Thanksgiving, Terry.
ReplyDeleteLove, Uncle Poodle.