Constancy

Today's collect at Mass asks this grace from God:

Grant us ... the constant gladness of being devoted to you, for it is full and lasting happiness to serve with constancy ... -33rd Sunday

Matt Talbot once said something similar - perhaps in a letter?  He said something like:  "What God wants is constancy."

I often think of that, especially since my life has been characterized by inconstancy.  I knew it would be as a child, which helps explain why I used to pray to die after confession or communion.  My childhood was marked by inconstancy and instability - hence I struggled with that all of my life - and still do.  It is probably why I have to battle against the temptation to impatience and annoyance with others who may appear to be inconsistent.  It is why change can be difficult to accept.  I heard something today about my pastor being transferred - although not sure if it is true, I was disappointed because I like him there.  Years ago, every time I found a good confessor or spiritual director, they were transferred.  It exacerbates the abandonment issues which lurk in my unconscious.

More common episodes of inconstancy are related to the moral and spiritual life of course.  I have been extremely inconstant - perhaps my only constancy has been sin followed by prayer and the sacraments - which is exactly right for a habitual sinner - and that is sheer grace.  I'm just not qualified to give advice - ever.  I'm not qualified to comment on the lives of others - especially when it concerns the moral life.

Having said that ...

I've been reading Eve Tushnet's book, Gay and Catholic.  I set it aside because of other things which needed my immediate attention, but I have to say I am impressed with what I've been reading so far.  It seems to me, Eve reveals her soul in the book - and that means I cannot say anything about that - although I felt a bit in awe of what I perceived as the work of the Holy Spirit in her life.  That said - I find nothing wrong with her book, and I have been pondering and praying over it for days now.  I think Eve's spirit is good, and will remain so depending on how 'her doctrine' develops.

I recognize she speaks for and to another generation, a generation which has been raised to accept gay as 'good' and compatible with Christianity.  That's quite a leap, which I'll try to discuss in another post.  It is a problem I can't get over.

My resistance lies in what was stated in the CDF document "Some considerations ... on nondiscrimination of homosexual persons" which cautions against what had developed in response to the 1975 Letter on Sexual Ethics:  "an overly benign interpretation was given to the homosexual condition itself, some going so far as to call it neutral or even good”. - CDF

I don't have a problem with that.  Nevertheless, younger people appear to - precisely because equality and acceptance and approval has been taught in our schools, it has been promoted in media/pop-culture, politics, and so on.  It seems to be the 'new' reality.  Eve Tushnet addresses that with great honesty and depth.  I respect that.

I had no intention of getting into Eve's book on this post, but it turned out otherwise.

It's not a compromise or cop-out on my part when I say, "who am I to judge?"  Because of my lack of constancy, I am in no position to judge even myself.  I'm also not qualified to tell other people how to live their lives.

That's all for now.

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