"I'd like to thank my husband."

I watched the Tony's last night.

So?  I can watch the Tony's.  How 'bout those Chicago Blackhawks nailing the LA Kings in 2nd overtime Saturday night, huh?!

So anyway.  I was very happy for Cyndi Lauper - I love her.  I knew nothing about the shows though.  Well maybe a little bit.  What?

I couldn't help but notice a couple of guys thanked their husbands in their acceptance speech.  It almost seemed normal - but then my inner kid said, "Men don't kiss!"  Remember that's what I told my molester who wanted to kiss me when I was a teenager.  "Men don't kiss... men can't have husbands..."  Of course it's legal in NY State, right?  But that doesn't make it real.  Yet everyone at Radio City thinks it is real.  More than one acceptance speech was about accepting and loving one another ...  I felt like a complete A-hole.  I felt mean.

Yesterday, reading Sunday's obituaries, I came upon a successful young man, thirty seven years old, who died at his home.  He was survived by loving family and loving friends and his husband.  I read the obit with interest.  He was raised in an excellent home, had the best education, was very successful - and apparently very happy.  He was active in charitable works - especially with homeless youth.  He struck me as a man of impeccable character.  A very good man.  No mention of religion or religious service, but he was a good man.

If I were to have met him and he asked me what was wrong with he and his partner getting married, and I repeated Church teaching, it would probably be meaningless to him.  If I told him his salvation and eternal happiness was in jeopardy, he could probably show me a multitude of good works and successful accomplishments, and overall good intentions - which would put me to shame.  (I wouldn't be telling anyone those things unless they asked me, or unless they challenged me for something I said or wrote or the way I live my life.)

I felt bad nonetheless.  I felt badly that the Tony Award winners could probably not be convinced that gay marriage isn't really marriage in the eyes of God.  That homosexual behavior is sinful - in other words - evil.  The act is disordered.  When questioners asked St. Bernadette what a sinner was, she answered, "Someone who loves sin."  We sinners can't get to heaven unless we repent, and ask for forgiveness.  If say we are not sinners or that we have no sin, well, St. John tells us we are liars.

I pray for the man whose obituary I read.  I pray for his 'husband'.  I pray for the guys who thanked their 'husbands' last night.  They must know, that like the rich young man, Christ looks at them with love.  He sees them.  He sees all that is good in them and he says, 'If you wish to be perfect... sell what you have... deny your very self... take up your cross... follow me.'  I pray we see and feel Christ's love, and experience his penetrating gaze, and respond generously.  Don't go away sad, settling for the consolation of the spirit of this world...

"This is salvation: to live in the consolation of the Holy Spirit, not the consolation of the spirit of this world. No, that is not salvation, that is sin. Salvation is moving forward and opening our hearts so they can receive the Holy Spirit’s consolation, which is salvation. This is non-negotiable, you can’t take a bit from here and a bit from there? We cannot pick and mix, no? A bit of the Holy Spirit, a bit of the spirit of this world ... No! It’s one thing or the other. " - Pope Francis, Morning homily 6/10/13