Friday, March 13, 2009

Socializing with rabbits...

Feeling snubbed?
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Last evening after nightfall, I went out to feed the rabbits. I greeted Mrs. Rabitowitz, who was in the far back hedge which separates St. Joseph's wood from the garden. She appeared to be keeping watch as is usual, and therefore while thus occupied, she rarely speaks. In the beginning I always felt a bit snubbed, although I later came to understand she actually reciprocated my greeting with a slight nod of recognition. Feeling snubbed is nothing but a deception invented by self love for humans, whereas rabbits never experience it at all.
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To my surprise, as I leaned over to place the supper on the rabbit's little table, I noted a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye. I spontaneously glanced back towards the garage door, just a foot or two behind me, realizing one of Mrs. R's bunnies had just scampered past me. He sat rather gingerly upon the threshold, and peered in, looking all about. I watched quietly for a moment, yet fearing he might enter and get locked in, I greeted him softly, "Why hello! I don't believe we've met." Hearing my voice he quickly ran back into the south hedge a few feet behind me, where he remained while I set the table.
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Finishing, I stood there, much like his mum would, staring at the trellis; wild rabbits do that you know - they often do not look towards their children when they are close by, nor while speaking to them while away from the nest. As a protective measure, they usually position themselves some distance from the bunnies, pretending to look in another direction from where the children are grazing, thus attempting to divert potential hunters and predators. (And that is why Mrs. R keeps watch so far away and doesn't speak.)
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Trying to reassure the little fellow, I said, "So you must be Mrs. R's son? You've grown up so fast." Silence.
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"Oh my goodness, you're a shy little fellow, aren't you yet? For many years your mum was like that as well. But you'll soon learn you have nothing to fear from me - I just keep an eye out for all of you, nothing else." More silence.
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It occurred to me that it would be best if I continued to speak so that he grows accustomed to my voice; "You don't need to respond at all - I know you're there. I suppose I better let you eat your supper though. Please say hello to your dad; I hope he's still doing okay." True to form, bunny rabbit remained silent - he was well taught. A man ought never to waste his emotions feeling snubbed by them, remembering that when it comes to rabbits, it takes a very long time to win their trust - and it is ever so easy to lose it.

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Stepping back to enter the house, I turned to look at him, whispering, "Night-night Schmui! You are such a good boy." As if on cue, he suddenly ran away, down the hedge row, taking cover in the thicket.
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Image source.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Expensive Decadence: Haute Couture Trash Art




Alexander McQueen
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Le costume parisiens it is not. It is simply burlesque. A misogynist's trick. At best, a Lindner-esque performance-art parody on the fashion industry. Women in Ronald McDonald lips, eyes wide shut, with way too much money. More photos here.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Home for Purim



Purim ends tonight - or last night - depends on the website. Mrs. Rabitowitz forgot to remind me.
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Photo: Christopher Guest's "For Your Consideration"

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H/T to Kat - I know! I was surprised too.

Pope Benedict XVI

My God, how I love the Pope, this one in particular.
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Dear brothers, in the days in which I bethought myself to write this letter, it so happened that I had to explain and comment on a section from Gal 5,13-15 in the seminary in Rome. I was surprised how directly the sections spoke of the present in that hour : “Do not take freedom as an excuse for the flesh, but serve one another in love. The whole law is summarized in the one word: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. If you bite and rip each other apart, then take care that you do not kill each other.” I was always inclined to see this sentence as one of those rhetorical hyperbole that occasionally appear in St Paul. In some ways it may well be. But unfortunately that “biting and ripping” is also present in the Church today as an expression of a badly understood notion of freedom. - Unofficial translation of the Letter of His Holiness to Bishops Regarding the Lifting of Excommunication on the SSPX Bishops. - Source

Come, let us contrive a plot... Jeremiah 18



Meddling on the web.
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Some people watch other people on the web. They keep a sharp eye, often to discredit or catch another in error. Yes, I get most of my material that way. However, I really do not set out to dig up dirt - I just happen across stuff that certain people freely acknowledge on their sites, stuff which strikes me funny or a bit odd sometimes. Others must have noticed as well, since they will comment on it. Although the more discerning, if they were to discuss such revelations at all, would do so privately. When it doesn't concern serious matter, I'll often discuss it publicly; not maliciously, but to explore the inconsistencies of human nature - at least that is what I tell myself. I've always been fascinated by such behavior, growing up as I did in a terribly dysfunctional household of lies and pretensions, so I sometimes cannot resist pointing out similar deceptions. I suppose it is my way of saying, "No one is going to fool me again." I also find it amusing, but I have to be very careful... For one thing - not everyone gets my humor. Secondly, I have a tendency to lapse and relapse and re-relapse into inappropriate humor and sarcasm... which is unfortunate. I'm trying to do better.
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After all is said and done however, one must acknowledge that the web has given us all the ability to live our lives publicly now - many of us reveal our most intimate thoughts and aspirations online; we imprudently parade our sins and faults before others, often dressed in sincere, albeit indiscreet pious sentiments of repentance; on some level, many of us have become virtual exhibitionists. Sometimes we can be caught off-guard, diverted from real life by gazing Narcissus-like at the image we present through our posts. Then we can spend even more time looking for responses, checking the hit counter, lurking on other sites. This is social connectivity at its worst. (Naturally, there is very good, helpful stuff out there, not all bloggers do that stuff... or do you?)
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Nevertheless, it is to be expected others will form opinions of us based upon what they read or view on our sites. One should not be surprised therefore if one is misunderstood, or when one receives criticism, inappropriate comments, or, God forbid, becomes the subject of gossip. We put ourselves out there.
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"Help us ever to withdraw from hurtful things and guide us toward those which are wholesome." Hurtful things: the Latin text calls them something closer to toxic, or noxious, meaning poisonous! It is hard sometimes for us to pull away from the very things that threaten to poison us. - Fr. Mark

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Do yourself a favor this Lent and read Vultus Christi. It is extremely rare to find a blog of such spiritual depth and authentic Catholic mysticism online. Each post is a rich, spiritual treasure.

Anti-Catholic? Voice of the Faithful?

It appears that at least one of their members is certainly not working to build up the Body of Christ.
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From Catholic News Agency:
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Catholics around the country are upset over a new bill in the Connecticut Senate that, in the words of the Archbishop of Hartford, "forces a radical reorganization of the legal, financial, and administrative structure of our parishes." The bill, which bears resemblance to Voice of the Faithful’s Strategic Plan, is being supported by Dr. Paul Lakeland, who believes that in this case it’s appropriate to use state legislation to force the Church’s hand.
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Dr. Paul Lakeland, Fairfield University Chair of Catholic Studies, Voice of the Faithful member, former Jesuit Priest, and author of several books including “The Liberation of the Laity: In Search of an Accountable Church,” recently discussed his support for Connecticut’s controversial Bill No. 1098 with CNA. Dr. Lakeland is also scheduled to testify before the Connecticut General Assembly on behalf of the bill.
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The premise of the bill is remarkably similar to the 2009-2010 Voice of the Faithful Strategic Plan. “The VOTF,” as Dr. Lakeland explains, “grew up in response to the sex abuse scandals here. One of the things that became rapidly apparent, among both liberals and conservatives, was the sense that the bishops hadn’t done a very good job of handling this.”
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Explaining his connection to the bill Dr. Lakeland said, “I’m connected to [the bill] to this degree: I’ve been working pretty closely with Tom Gallagher, who’s a Greenwich businessman, who has been behind the push to get the state government to do something about this. Even though, I don’t think, even he was involved in putting the legislation together.”
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Upon further investigation, Tom Gallagher seems to be more than just a Greenwich businessman, and to have more than just a passive role in lobbying legislators for the change. In a Voice of the Faithful article titled, “The Money Trail: Financial Management and Mismanagement in the Diocese of Bridgeport,” Joseph O’Callaghan quotes ‘Attorney’ Tom Gallagher multiple times.
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Dr. Lakeland also acknowledged his own membership with Voice of the Faithful, by saying “It’s funny, I work with them, but being a member is a very vague thing. I suppose most people would consider me a member, I don’t pay any dues…I think most people would consider me a member, yes.” - Read on.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Stockpiling food and resources.

"Git the gun, dolly!"
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I'm not despising any one's prophecy here, but some of the latter day prophets seem to be creating a lot of drama lately. I live across the street from a Seventh Day Adventist church, which happens to be offering their annual Unlocking Revelation series, which deals with the end times = our times. Some of the church membership think the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the Catholic Church is the whore of Babylon. No biggie - I call the cops and have them ticketed when they park in my driveway.
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This past weekend however, the highly regarded Evangelical minister, David Wilkerson came out with a soul shaking warning:
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AN EARTH-SHATTERING CALAMITY IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. IT IS GOING TO BE SO FRIGHTENING, WE ARE ALL GOING TO TREMBLE - EVEN THE GODLIEST AMONG US. - Source
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Wilkerson recommends keeping on hand 30 days worth of food and supplies, which is never a bad idea anyway, just as an emergency precaution in the event of a natural disaster, or a terrorist attack. It isn't a dumb idea. In fact, the Word he received revealed what appeared to be a terrorist attack - if I understand him correctly - perhaps followed by widespread civil unrest, hence the recommendation to stockpile supplies.
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I know - I'm not convinced by Medjugorje, and yet I publish this from a non-Catholic. Of course I'm skeptical, but it isn't as if Wilkerson is alone in warning people. Even the vice-president warned of a terrorist attack possibly occurring shortly after the inauguration. And God knows this country has many enemies who would love to nuke us.
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Not long ago, I heard of a physician in St. Paul; he and his family are very devout Catholics, and supposedly they have a years worth of food and supplies on hand, I understand they have a gun as well. I could never go that far.

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Besides, the old rule for Third Order of St. Francis forbids carrying a sword.
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Adrienne has a provocative post dealing with the prospect of Manufactured Crisis - follow the links in the body of the text.

This used to happen to me all of the time...



Tanning bed bursts into flames; man escapes. - Story here.
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I used to be hot!

Here is an interesting tidbit...

A theory on priests with same sex attraction. (Just a theory!)
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"[Homosexual] individuals in the priesthood have a significant affective immaturity with excessive anger and jealousy toward males who are not homosexual, insecurity that leads them to avoid close friendships with such males and an inordinate need for attention.
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Most of these men had painful adolescent experiences of significant loneliness and sadness, felt insecure in their masculinity, and had a poor body image. Well-designed research studies have demonstrated a much higher prevalence of psychiatric illness in those who identify themselves as homosexual.
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Frequently, they may have difficulty working in a collegial and comfortable way with heterosexual males.
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In our clinical experience those with deep-seated homosexual tendencies lack an understanding of the origins of their conflicts and of the possibility of healing." - Source
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Come now, let us set things right, says the Lord. - Isaiah 1: 16-20
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In any case, one might take from this a renewed understanding of how important the cell of self knowledge is to the spiritual life - at every stage, and how the soul should continually return to it, trusting in the healing mercy of God. This, it seems to me, is not just good advice for priests and seminarians, but for anyone who is serious about ongoing conversion in the spiritual life.
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Humility.
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Scripture tells us "God plucks up the roots of the proud, to plant the humble in their place". On some level, one may apply that passage to oneself, understanding that God also assists us in rooting out vice in our life; first, by breaking down our "stem to the ground" - in other words, destroying our false self, our pride; and then he "digs the roots from the earth" - the root sin, the predominant fault, as well as the origin of the conflicts that led the soul to seek consolation and compensation through our particular (disorder) attachment to sin. (Meditation from Sirach 13-16)
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Many writers claim there is no need to search for the origins or reasons why one is addicted to whatever disorder one happens to be afflicted with. I disagree with that since I believe such knowledge is necessary to humility and healing. I have a friend who is preparing to enter a seminary. He tells me he no longer identifies himself as homosexual or gay. In the interview I cite concerning ordination, the Dr. points out; "Those with mild homosexual tendencies do not identify themselves as homosexuals. Such men are motivated to understand and to overcome their emotional conflicts. They regularly seek psychotherapy and spiritual direction."
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Different strokes.
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I realize not all people are motivated in the same way, and not all people may have that degree of faith, if you will; indeed, many reject these theories outright. To be sure, it is not my call as to who is right or who is wrong for seminary or religious life. That is up to bishops, rectors of seminaries, vocation directors, spiritual directors, and confessors to discern. I just happen to believe self-knowledge is a good thing to have.

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"Tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than one ought to think, but to think soberly, each according to the measure of faith that God has appointed." - Romans 12: 3

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Please take note: This post is not written about any one person, nor with anyone in mind - I was simply reflecting upon an article I found on Cathlete - otherwise known as the Catholic Drudge - which corresponded to something my friend who is entering seminary told me.

40 Martyrs of Sebastea



In 320 A.D., Emperor Licinius commanded all the Christians in the East to renounce their faith. Amongst those who refused were 40 soldiers, who were stripped naked, herded onto a lake in the middle of winter, and left there to freeze to death. Heated baths and lighted tents lined the shore in an attempt to lure the men to apostasy. One soldier gave in, yet another on shore, edified by the heroism of the others, removed his clothing and joined the martyrs. Most of the men died during the night, those who survived were killed the following day. Their martyrdom took place in what is today modern Turkey. Their feast day is March 10.
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The image shown above is from the Soviet Gulag, painted by Nikolai Getman. Source

Monday, March 09, 2009

"What a cute little zygote!"



"Oh, thank you, but it is a blastocyst right now, searching for a cozy place to implant." She said, blushing.
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I'm getting an education today in human reproduction and bio-ethics - I know nothing about birthing babies - nothing. Ignorance is no excuse however, and besides, I now have to know if I am expected to explain pro-life positions to non-Catholic friends who challenge me; asking me what the big deal is over embryonic stem cell research. People want to know why it is immoral. Thanks to Jessica, one of my readers, I found National Catholic Bioethics Center and Fr. Tad Pacholczyk's column.
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"Human embryos are already beings that are human (not zebra or plant), and are, in fact, the newest and most recent additions to the human family. They are integral beings structured for matu ­ ration along their proper time line. Any destructive action against them as they move along the continuum of their development disrupts the entire future time line of that person. In other words, the embryo exists a whole, living member of the human species, and when destroyed, that particular individual has perished. Every human embryo, thus, is unique and sacrosanct, and should not be cannibalized for stem cell extraction.
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What a human embryo actually is, even at its earliest and most undeveloped stage, already makes it the only kind of entity capable of receiving the gift of an immortal soul from the hand of God. No other animal or plant embryo can receive this gift; indeed, no other entity in the universe can receive this gift. Hence, the early human embryo is never merely biological tissue, like a group of liver cells in a petri dish; at a minimum, such an embryo, with all its internal structure and directionality, represents the privileged sanctuary of one meant to develop as a human person.
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Some scientists and philosophers will attempt to argue that if an early embryo might not yet have received its immortal soul from God, it must be OK to destroy that embryo for research since he or she would not yet be a person. But it would actually be the reverse; that is to say, it would be more immoral to destroy an embryo that had not yet received an immortal soul than to destroy an ensouled embryo. Why? Because the immortal soul is the principle by which that person could come to an eternal destiny with God in heaven, so the one who destroyed the embryo, in this scenario, would preclude that young human from ever receiving an immortal soul (or becoming a person) and making his or her way to God. This would be the gravest of evils, as the stem cell researcher would forcibly derail the entire eternal design of God over that unique and unrepeatable person, via an action that would be, in some sense, worse than murder. The human person, then, even in his or her most incipient form as an embryonic human being, must always be safeguarded in an absolute and unconditional way, and speculation about the timing of personhood cannot alter this fundamental truth." - Do Embryos Have Souls
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Nevertheless, people do not care. As my friend told me, "Yes, but all of those embryos will eventually be discarded and destroyed anyway, so why not use them for the good of others. Think of Michael J. Fox..."

We interrupt this blog-break to announce: Federal funding for embryonic stem cell research is on!

Why the fuss?
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Today a friend asked me with genuine sincerity, "I do not understand why it is so wrong to take stem cells from embryos, embryos which will be destroyed anyway. Isn't it better to use them to save lives and cure disease? In either case, they will eventually be destroyed."
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I understood his confusion, and answered as best I could, "We have been socially conditioned into rejecting the idea that a human embryo is actually a person. I'm not a bio-ethicist nor a theologian, and therefore I'm unable to explain it in depth, but the destruction of a human embryo is the destruction of a human person. It is killing."
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"Yes, but the embryos will probably be destroyed anyway, so isn't it better to use the stem cells for the good of the living?"
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Again, he wasn't seeking to challenge me, or to argue the matter, my friend simply did not understand why the Church was so opposed. I realized that most lay people, as well as those who are physically disabled by illness, yet hoping for a cure through this research, see it the same way: "What's the difference? If the embryos are there, why not put them to good use." I tried to explain as best I could that I understand that thought process, and compared it to the experimentation by the Nazis. I said, "The prisoners in the camps were going to die anyway, so the Nazi doctors thought, 'why not experiment upon them and harvest what we can first.'"
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"Well that was different," he answered respectfully disagreeing. "This isn't the same thing."
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Human sacrifice back in vogue.
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"I think it is," I said politely. "The marketing of such an evil is more slick and sophisticated today; it is presented as a sanitized, clinical study for the benefit of mankind. (Potentially generating huge profits for the health-care industry.) As a society we already kill children through abortion and in post-abortion born-alive situations. Popular culture ignores it however, and calls it choice. Even if one is against abortion, one does not always accept the reality that an embryo is a human person. Therefore, exploiting human embryos, indeed sacrificing human lives, which do not even look like babies, doesn't seem so evil."
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Nevertheless, I could not persuade him. My friend, along with countless other Americans simply do not believe a human embryo is a person. We discussed the matter for a few more minutes. He, asking if other religions were opposed to it, or was it just the Catholic Church, and so on. Sadly, many people think it is simply a faith issue, and that the Catholic Church is just one religion among countless others, making up rules to control mankind. Such are the effects of relativism - Catholicism is just another ideology. I guess if Buddhism taught that it is okay to do it, then my friend would say, "So there, it isn't immoral." Once again we see how fallen human nature searches for approval, to the point of altering natural law, in order to affirm evil as good.
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Nevertheless, I could not convince my friend, and he changed the subject. He likes the British actor, Tilda Swinton quite a lot.
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Comments are back on BTW.

Signs

"Deeply immoral." - Source

President Obama's decision to lift restrictions on federal funding of human embryonic stem cell research, scheduled to be announced Monday, is expected to provide a major boost to one of the most promising but controversial fields of biomedical research in generations. - Source

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Monday, March 9, 2009. A day of fasting and prayer.

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Sunday, March 08, 2009

Where are they now?


The New Erkel.
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H/T to Boniface: He introduced the photo over at his blog Unam Sanctam.

Have you seen my tool bag?


Lent can be pretty tough, Sisyphus.
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So maybe take the Sunday break.

Reflections

I decided.
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I love song titles for my posts. (BTW, Beyonce's sister was not nominated for a Grammy this year.) Anaways - a math teacher in Jr. High pronounced it that way - he also said things like, "It may and it mayn't." He had to be like 90 at the time - but he was really quite funny - I got his humor, and so he liked to make me laugh.. He once bought an island off Florida in a real-estate scam - he had no idea he was being scammed of course, it turned out to be little more than a sand dune.
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My thoughts are all over the place this morning - I was up until 2AM, watching The Painted Veil. I liked the film very much. It was sad. There was a chink however. A line about a monastery of French nuns who ran an orphanage. The main character, Walter told his wife that the nuns were not quite as virtuous as she imagined. He told her they went into the village and paid mothers for their children, to bring them to their orphanage and make little Catholics of them.
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That line wrecked an otherwise very good film for me. That line will stick in many viewers head when accusations against the Church arise - as they do with increased frequency these days. It is an absolutely ridiculous accusation. One must understand that even in those days, the pagans in China did not esteem girl babies. They wanted, needed, males to support them in their old age. I'm not a historian but I do remember the nuns in school telling us this. Baby girls would sometimes be abandoned or killed. The nuns would have been rescuing the infants. Little things like that...
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Pius XII
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Hitler's Pope, The Deputy... Everyone knows (or should know) about the character assasination plot which has developed throughout revisionist history since the late 1950's. The lie is that Pope Pius XII did nothing to help the Jews in WWII. Some people even believe it. Not true of course. In fact, these lies are as heinous as the lies Bishop Williamson of the SSPX embraced - the No Holocaust conspiracy. Now that is a conspiracy! Lies repeated often enough, along with one or two erroneous little twists of the facts, manipulate and deceive entire groups of people, many of whom should otherwise know better. The purpose of the attacks against the pope is to discredit the Church of course. No Church = no rules, no Commandments, no sin, and all of that. Imagine.
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Say what they want, more and more evidence is being assembled to prove otherwise; that Pius XII was indeed the Angelic Shepherd of the People of God, including our elder brothers in the Faith, the Jews. Fr. Gumpel, the postulator for the cause of the Holy Father's canonization found more evidence last week:
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Father Peter Gumpel, the promoter of Pope Pius XII’s cause of beatification, revealed this week that he has uncovered new proof of the Pope’s efforts to protect Jews from the Nazis. The evidence consists of a note from the archives of a Roman monastery that includes a direct order from the Holy Father to give shelter to persecuted Jews.
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Father Gumpel said the note from the archives of the Augustinian Nuns of the Roman Monastery reads: “The Holy Father wishes to save his children, the Jews as well, and orders that the Monasteries provide hospitality to these persecuted people.”
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Father Gumpel said there are many who claim they would believe “in the work of Pius XII in support of the Jews if only we had a written document.’ Well, two written documents exist: one was sent to Bishop Nicolini of Assisi, who showed it to his collaborator, Father Brugnazzi; both were recognized afterwards by the Yad Vashem as ‘righteous among the nations’.”
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“Here in Rome,” he said, “we now have this document from the archives of the Augustinian Cloistered Nuns” as “a subsequent confirmation that could be useful against those who persistently denigrate Pius XII and attack the Catholic Church.” - Source
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Let's hope and pray that Pope Pius XII will soon be beatified.
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I decided what?
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I decided that when I post about Catholic stuff I will make a generous effort to only post things that "build up the body of Christ". My confessor suggested it.
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Of course this means I'm just going to have to sell the farm - or is that buy/bought the farm? Gosh! There was so much material there. Oh how we laughed together, shook our heads in that "oh you kid" kind of fashion. But now, no more fun "where's Father" (as in Waldo) mysteries. No more guessing, who is coming to dinner. The fashion and cooking specials must come to an end now. As well as the birding, the star gazing... it's all over. It's quite sad really. Yet I never meant any harm - I simply have a warped sense of humor, with a fine appreciation for the eccentric.
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I suppose I'll have to be nice to Belinda now too. Who said life is fair?

Sunday


I've been photographing everything. This is a wooden Zen shrine containing a gilded pewter statue of the Infant Jesus.
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[I'm also cataloging things.]

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Billy Joel - Just The Way You Are (1977)

When I lived in Boston, a priest hearing my confession once suggested this song for me to meditate upon as my penance. I've always liked Billy Joel.

My blogroll



I'm updating it - still. So, if you are not on it, and you would like to be, let me know. If you are on it and you would like to be removed, let me know that too. You will hurt my feelings if you do, but that is okay - I'll get over it... I wonder if you will. (Evil laughter builds into a crazed crescendo, and suddenly! Oh no! Oh the Humanity! The screen of my computer explodes and hundreds of aliens rush out... It is the 1990 prophecy come to life!)

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Wow! - that was weird.
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Photo: Cathy and Ray at the fish fry last night, they love fish.

Ex-voto

Public thanks.
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There used to be a custom, and it may still exist, where persons who received favors from saints published their thanks in the newspaper. This practice is another form of ex-voto, or thanksgiving expressed through small paintings illustrating the favor, along with the use of milagros - stamped metal effigies depicting hearts or legs or arms, and so on - posted at shrines. This tradition extends back to ancient pagan times, in fact, I own a small terra-cotta Etruscan ex-voto; it happens to be the head of a female deity, from pre-Roman times. (Shown above, mounted upon a wood base. Yes it is authentic.) Anyway, Cathy of Alexandria posted an ex-voto to St. Jude on her blog the other day, and her post impressed me deeply.
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I have never cultivated a devotion to St. Jude, but I decided to make a novena anyway, simply on the testimony/witness of Cathy's post - which in effect, is an ex-voto - a published thanksgiving for favors received. Voila! I immediately understood the the good effects of a person publishing an account of graces received through prayer. It inspires devotion and prayer, and instills confidence in God's goodness and mercy.
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Likewise, I gained new appreciation for those bloggers who give an account of their conversion or style of prayer or good works, even what they do for Lent. Souls need genuine hope and encouragement, as well as witness to the truths of the faith; and most of all, people need to know we actually live in relationship with Jesus Christ, his mother and the angels and the saints - as well as one another. Anyway - this is my ex-voto - Thank you St. Jude for favors received - and thank you Cathy for publishing your account.

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Devotion



The Divine Mercy
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So many devotions - someone had a blog by that name. Catholics have a million of them, some approved, some inspired by one's private devotion, many recommended by the Church. There are racks of assorted chaplets in Catholic religious stores, all brightly colored, many stemming from private revelations and the writings of holy people.
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In the late 19th century and early 20th century, there was only one chaplet recommended above all, by none other than Our Lady and the popes: The holy Rosary. A devotion so important, Our Lady told us it would bring peace to the world as well as the conversion of sinners. The devotion so important to John Paul II, he enriched it with 5 more mysteries.
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After this, there is one more, very prominent and crucial chaplet - given to the world by Christ himself, through the instrumentality of St. Faustina Kowalska: The chaplet of Divine Mercy, through which our Lord promised unimaginable graces to those who recite it on ordinary rosary beads. See how the Lord esteems His Mother's rosary? This devotion was established and promulgated by the Pope himself, establishing the Solemnity of the Divine Mercy on the Second Sunday of Easter.
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The chaplet is far above any private devotion chaplet invented by human piety. The chaplet was dictated and arranged by our Lord for our times. The Creed and the Pater and Ave which precede the litany, happen to coincide with the prayers required for a plenary indulgence.
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The prayer, "Eternal Father, I offer you the body, blood, soul, and divinity of your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world" is a prayer which immediately unites us to the holy sacrifice of the Mass and the silent loving action of Jesus in the Eucharist - in other words, the chaplet is very much a spiritual communion with the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus.
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The invocation is followed by the litany, "For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole World." This repetition unites us to the prayer of the Church, interceding for the entire world.
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The concluding doxology, repeated three times, "Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world" is our acceptable adoration of the Holy Trinity in spirit and truth.
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The chaplet is so powerful, our Lord is unable to resist even the most hardened sinner, even if he recites it only once - he stressed that to Faustina.
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John Paul II never endorsed any 20th century apparition outside of Fatima. The Pope never recommended the revelations of any 20th century mystic other than those of St. Faustina and the Devotion to Divine Mercy which became her mission to spread throughout the world.
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"I desire to grant unimaginable graces to those souls who trust in my mercy. Through this chaplet you will obtain everything, if what you ask for is compatible with my will." - Words of our Lord to St. Faustina: Diary: 687, 1731

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Go here for more information on the Divine Mercy Devotion

Friday, March 06, 2009

As Good as it Gets - You're a wonderful man!!

"Sell crazy some place else, we're all stocked up here." LOL! I love this.

First Friday

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, "clean the stains of my soul and give me tears of penance, loving tears out of love, tears of salvation, tears that cleanse the darkness of my mind, making me light so that I may see you, Light of the world, enlightenment to my repentant eyes." - St. Simeon the New Theologian

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Lady madonna...

The agony and the ecstasy.

Our dear friend, Jackie Parkes has written an account of her struggle with depression and bi-polar disease. Misyon magazine published her story. The following statement impressed me deeply:
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"When I was ill I envied the Souls in Purgatory because they knew, though suffering intensely, that they were saved, whereas in the depth of despair and darkness of the depressed person there is no such assurance. I truly panicked that in my despair I had sinned against the Holy Spirit. But it was an 'illness' which made me think that euthanasia was a great idea. I can see clearly why we must fight against the evil of legalized euthanasia because I would have been dead long ago if there had been such in force." - Source
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Jackie is on a break from blogging, but she sends along a music video once in awhile. May many prayers and much love surround her; her husband, and her lovely children. I miss her blog.

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The Inquisition

My Ash Wednesday.


Yesterday.
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While I was putting the monstrance and candles away in the sacristy yesterday, I noticed a container of ashes from last week, so I blessed myself with them and licked the residue off from my finger. (St. Francis sprinkled ashes on his food.) Then I brushed them off and returned to the sanctuary to move the flowers to Our Lady's chapel since adoration was over. So. A week later, I got my ashes, a sign of my repentance - alone in the sacristy.
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That empty, abandoned feeling...
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I also noticed my parish emptied the holy water fonts - although nothing had been inserted to replace it. I've been going to another parish for Mass - which is why I did not know what my own is doing. I know why liturgists like to do that, I just don't know why pastors go along with it however. I'm used to stuff like that though; after all, how many years have I gone through such novelties? (Too many to admit for a guy who will be turning, er, ah, ooh..., 39 this year.)
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I have a feeling that those of us who remember how during Passion week all the statues were covered with purple until Holy Saturday, pretty much get the empty font syndrome. The impression of purple draped statues was always a bit jolting as one entered the church, especially for little kids or the irregular attendees. (BTW - the practice is still allowed, recommended and executed in Roman Catholic parishes.) Liturgists, many of whom lack any sort of Catholic maturity, seem to get the same kick from empty fonts - but it is only effective the first time one experiences it - afterwards, one simply ignores it. Oddly enough, in churches that empty the fonts, the same liturgists wouldn't think of covering statues - if indeed the church has any - because it is "old fashioned". Whatever.
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Most Catholics ought to know the fonts are emptied on Holy Thursday and are filled once again with the new Easter Water after the Vigil on Holy Saturday.
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Holy Water - it's a good thing.
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That said, I'm not really complaining about the empty fonts. Like I mentioned, I have holy water at home - I use it all of the time. I get the holy water from a church where they use the old Roman Ritual, and still include salt. A lot of people like to have blessed exorcism salt now days. Growing up, I only knew about that stuff as it was used in baptisms - to my knowledge, lay people never used it - and I tried to know absolutely everything about being a priest and the sacraments and sacramentals. Anyway, why would we have used exorcism salt, when salt was part of the mix in blessed holy water? But I digress, and I don't know a lot about that.
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The real desert.
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Like I said - I'm not complaining about empty fonts, there are bigger things to be concerned with. But what I really wanted to write about, was a conversation I had with one of the long time parishioners. After adoration, we were discussing some of the things local parishes have done in the years since the Council. Mind you, we weren't whining - it is simply all part of our history now. She told me how many pastors our parish has had over the years, and how each one brought in some type of innovation or novelty. I don't need to go into detail as to what they consisted of, we've all experienced or heard of the abuses, some of which continue on elsewhere. What impressed me most in the conversation, was this woman's attitude. She told me how she, her husband and friends kept going to Mass every day, kneeling at the Consecration, taking communion on the tongue, even when others mocked her - for all of those years.
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"Oh sure," she said laughing, "we just kept on. I shrugged all of that stuff off. The priests were still priests, Jesus was still present in the Eucharist. We all built this church you know. And now, after 35 years, we have a good pastor who is trying to restore Catholic practice. I just plug away."
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She is a fine lady. The only time I've ever seen her get annoyed is when she hears stories about children being abused, exploited, killed, and most especially, aborted; and she remains active in pro-life ministries. Oh yeah, she doesn't like Obama though.


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I think I'm snapping out of my bad mood now.

The poor you will always have with you.

Remember that rebuke?
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I don't know what is wrong with me - but I get really angry over stories such as the 9 year old Brazilian girl, pregnant with twins; or the story of a Miami abortionist throwing away an infant who survived the botched procedure - into a plastic bag with the bloodied newspaper. I just don't get it. And now days, people are getting poorer - friends are telling stories of the poor stealing food, going without necessities and health coverage, evicted from homes, and so on.
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Yet Jesus seemed to shrug off monetary concerns for the poor when he reprimanded Judas, who happened to be so inordinately focused upon money, he used the poor as an excuse to object to Mary using expensive ointment to dress the Lord's feet. (Reminds me of how critics of the Church insist that money shouldn't be spent upon vestments and sacred vessels, but rather given to the poor.)
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My pious, naive thoughts on the poor.
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But what did Our Lord mean? There had to be more to it than that. As I understand it, it appears a sense of justice will always prevail, and we may rightly expect that the poor will always be helped through monetary and material provisions, in some way or another. So if the 9 year old Brazilian girl and her family could have been well cared for; given money, food, clothing, even decent housing, these things most likely would not have prevented the sexual exploitation or the pregnancy. In the United States, we know by experience that materialism does not prevent the moral decay which leads to the sexual abuse, spousal and child abuse, as well as drug abuse, criminal behaviour and violence that infects the ghettos, housing projects and lower income suburbs of the world.
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Yes, the poor need monetary aid and the necessities of life. Yet for some reason, the (economic) inequity typical of Latino Catholic cultures, along with African and Indian cultures (in their respective countries), never seems to go away - or get any better. I wonder if what the poor are deprived of most of all - more seriously than anything else - is authentic religion. Not simply catechesis, but decent liturgical life, education, moral example - and most of all, the presence of the Church. Missionaries once civilized entire societies in the Americas, devotion flourished despite racial and monetary disparity, while the missions became the center of culture.
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The poor we will aways have in our midst.
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We need to pray for the missions, the missionaries, as well as for an increase in good missionary vocations. The missionary cannot simply be an aid worker, he is called to bring the faith to the poor; the missionary is sent to bring Christ into the midst of the poor. Though present in the Eucharist, many of the poor no longer have Him in their midst. We need to once again recognize Christ amongst us in the Blessed Sacrament, and share him with the poor. Yes, the poor we will always have with us, but Jesus wants to be in their midst.
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I kind of think that is one of the things the Lord was trying to explain to Judas.
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Many of us can forget about the missions - save for on Mission Sunday. Can't be a missionary in a foreign land? We can be one at home, and we can pray and sacrifice and donate. Matt Talbot gave most of his paycheck to the missions. His best tool for evangelization was/is his example.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

When they came for the Trads, I remained silent...



New World Order Stuff
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German authorities are raiding the homes of neo-Nazis, confiscating things like music and leather accessories (I made the accessory part up.). Sounds crazy? Read on:
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More than 60 years after World War Two and the Nazi Holocaust, right-wing radicalism is still a problem in Germany:
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German police have launched a nationwide search of more than 200 homes and businesses of people suspected of belonging to the country's extreme right, the Federal Crime Office (BKA) said Wednesday.
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"The primary aim of the concerted action by crime fighting authorities is to seize and confiscate prohibited items like music in order to move effectively and extensively against the spread of right wing extremism," the BKA said in a statement. - Source
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Yes, I realize what the issues are in Germany, I have relatives who have lived there for decades, I understand all things Nazi are pretty much illegal. Nevertheless, it occurred to me this type of control could easily happen to other groups - in Germany or elsewhere. What if the Government started raiding Life-care centers, or people's farms in Wisconsin? I have composed an updated version of the Niemoller poem to emphasize my point...

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When they came for the Communists,

I remained silent,

I was not a Democrat.
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When the they came for the Branch Davidians,

I remained silent;

I was not a Branch Davidian.
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When they locked up the the Mormon children,

I remained silent;

I was not a polygamist.
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When they came for the neo-Nazis,

I did not speak out;

I was not a into leather.
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When they came for the SSPX,

I did not speak out;

I was not a bishop.
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When they came for the women of The View,

I did not speak out;

I was not menopausal.
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When they came for the contestants of American Idol,

I did not speak out;

I just laughed.
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When they came for the Homeschoolers,

I remained silent;

I hate denim jumpers.
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When they came for me,

there was no one left to speak out;

That's just typical!
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Photo: Miami Gay Men's Chorus.

Fr. Groeschel consoles the Legion of Christ


Couragio
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Fr. Groeschel knows all about scandal. He has worked with many, many fallen priests, religious, and sinners - people just like me. I first met him while he was staying at the Cancer Home in St. Paul a few years ago. (He has a copy of an icon I did, depicting his patron saint.) In a rather short time, we spoke privately about many things, he was very encouraging. In fact, ducking his head into the chapel where I was praying, he whispered this parting word in my direction, "Couragio!" Fr. Groeschel is always so charitable, kind, compassionate, and understanding. Therefore, I'm not surprised he addressed the men in formation with the Legion of Christ in such encouraging terms.
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"At times, in individual lives, and sometimes in corporate lives, events occur which are difficult for us to comprehend, to get our arms around. And often, not always, but often, the answer is a personal, individual call to repentance on our part, on OUR part. And the willingness to go on.
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Now, what goes on is that each individual soul is called in the way that the Holy Spirit calls us to turn all of the events of life -- successes, failures, joys, sorrows, virtues, and even sins -- to turn them all into our personal repentance and following of Our Lord Jesus Christ. The Legionaries of Christ were built and sustained by a deep Christological theology and devotion. It will stand you in the best stead at this time. This is not the Legion of anybody except of Christ.
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St. Augustine says, "When the cross was first preached to the few who believed, it was mocked by the multitudes. But by the power of the cross, the blind saw, the lame walked, the lepers were cleansed, and even the dead rose so that even among the powers of this world, men would come to believe that there is, in fact, nothing more powerful than the humility of God." - Source


Tuesday, March 03, 2009

JPII and Medjugorje



Refuting claims the Pope privately approved of the apparitions.
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(It had been my intention to post this a few days ago but I haven't been very pleasant lately and I was afraid of what I might say.)
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I've tried to believe in the apparitions at Medjugorje - yet the messages are so banal and soap-opera-like, it is almost impossible to take them seriously. It is my opinion, the people involved - pilgrims and promoters alike - have more of a story going on than the alleged appearances, sky-writing, miraculous photos, and secrets no one is supposed to know. I don't like to discuss the issue very much, mainly because many very nice, very sincere people are so devoted to the cult surrounding the Virgin as she is venerated in Medjugorje, nearly as much as they are taken in by the seers and their on-the-road-again evangelization business.
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At Athanasius' blog, Boniface of Unam Sanctam posted an essay refuting the claims JPII supported the apparitions. It is the best I've read so far. Boniface begins:
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But one other assertion of the Medjugorje crowd that I have been wanting to debunk for a long time is the oft-repeated claim that John Paul II privately approved of the apparitions and encouraged the faithful in their devotion at Medjugorje. This is manifestly false, and whatever else one may think of John Paul II, one thing we can definitely clear him of is promoting Medjugorje. Therefore, I want to clear up with this post once and for all the confusion and untruths promoted by those who assert that the Pope, either JPII of BXVI, has ever approved Medjugorje, even implicitly. - Read the entire post here: Source
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It seems so many people are willing to believe just about anyone who claims to know the mind of the popes, or who claim, "The Pope said this" or "the Pope said that." Show me the document that says so.
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Photo: Alleged miraculous image of the Madonna at Medjugorje. I wonder if JPII has ever shown up since his death?

Cardinal Mahony: Clueless in Los Angeles?

The Cardinal vs. the TLM.
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Several years ago, Mother Angelica upset Cardinal Mahony after she'd expressed criticism over an instruction he gave regarding the Eucharist. I can't remember what it was exactly, but the Cardinal was none too happy with Mother's criticism. I could be mistaken, but he may have tried to have her taken off the air. He never succeeded of course. Yet it was on account of churchmen like him that she once protested, "I would rather blow this place up than let them get a hold of the network" - or something to that effect. Tough lady.
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This week, the trad world, along with liturgically savvy Novus Ordo Catholics are up in arms over the Cardinal's latest blunder. Responding to an online interview question regarding the TLM, the Cardinal made the following statement:
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"The Tridentine Mass was meant for those who could not make the transition from Latin to English [or other languages] after the Council. But there is no participation by the people, and I don't believe that instills the spirit of Christ among us." - Source

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Seriously, if the Cardinal just did a little Internet search/poll, I'm quite certain he would find that a great many of the TLM advocates are young people, many born long after the Council; very well educated, who can easily make the transition from English [or other languages] to Latin. It is mostly Catholics my age who are content with the English - but not the novelties and abuses.
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Some advice the Cardinal may like to take under consideration: "Don't let the pendulum swing hit you in the rear-end on the way to your retirement."
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I just realized, the Cardinal is an American of Irish descent isn't he... What is it they say about blarney?

Monday, March 02, 2009

Where are they now?

One of my e-friends entered a monastery and then left. I wonder what happened to him? People are never the same after they leave - I assure you.
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J-J, where are you?

CDL News


This is dumb.
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Bill Donohue claimed the above photo illustrates the anti-Catholic bias of the NY Times. WTH? The Times did not have to run anything at all, but Donohue still took offense:
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"The photo, shot from above, shows no one in the church but the two of them. The caption below says, “The Rev. Ed Zogby marked a worshiper’s forehead with ashes at the Shrine of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton near Battery Park. Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent.” There was no attendant story.
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So it makes us wonder, why did the New York Times deliberately choose this photo? And why did it give it such prominence? To be honest, we’re really not wondering at all: We know exactly what the newspaper is up to." - Source
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The Times actually responded to such nonsense:
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"Michele McNally, the editor in charge of photography at the Times, [had this to say] about the picture: She said the paper ran it because it was "a gorgeous photograph of a profound religious experience." - Source

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Choose your battles - otherwise everyone will just think you're a big blowhard. ;)

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Timeless Classics: Sacredotal Fashionisti

All dressed up, no place to go.
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Cathy said I seemed a little cranky with my posts lately. I'm not now.
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Let's lighten up for Lent.

The pregnant 9 year old Brazilian girl.

Pregnant with twins.
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When you hear stories like this, abortion doesn't seem so terrible after all. Especially if you happen to be an ardent secularist, with no religion of consequence. I'm pro-life and Roman Catholic, and this case angers, baffles, and sickens me. Nevertheless, I can understand why people like to say abortion should be a choice, even when they want to force it upon a vulnerable little girl.
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The girl in question is a little 9 year old in Recife, Brazil; She had been repeatedly sexually assaulted by her stepfather, for just under a dollar a throw; She became pregnant with twins, which doctors claim she cannot carry to term because her skeletal structure is not mature enough to support such a pregnancy. And now it appears she is being forced to face the choice of abortion. Our sinful humanity cries out, "Why not?" She came from horrible poverty, deprivation, and repeated sexual abuse, an experience she held in common with her 14 year old disabled sister. Who would even want to live, much less bring two more babies into that kind of life?
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Yes, these are horrible, faithless, damnable thoughts. Thoughts a Christian must get behind himself - as when Christ rebuked Peter. It is so easy to think as faithless human beings and not as God does. Being human, I admit I just don't understand...
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At Mass, I noted three little boys, one at a time, as they approached Our Lady's statue, lighting candles and kneeling, looking up to the Virgin's face, their lips moving in prayer. They reminded me of myself at their respective ages; 6, maybe 7, and possibly 10 or 12. I prayed in my heart with them and for them, "Please Blessed Mother, please do not let anything bad happen to them, do not let them ever be molested or harmed, do not let them sin - do not abandon them, not to themselves or to anyone who can harm them." I know what it is like to have your life literally screwed - I never want that to happen to anyone else - ever.
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Photo: Taken from a Spanish blog with a similar story from Honduras.

Apparently another little snag with the SSPX reunion... you don't say.



SSPX will not accept Vatican II.
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Doh! That was pretty much the point of the schism in the first place - no matter what kind of spin their defenders want to put on it.
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The Society of Saint Pius X whose ultratraditionalist bishops were recently rehabilitated by Pope Benedict XVI will not accept the reforms introduced by the Second Vatican Council, the head of the order has told a Swiss paper. - Source
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Yet the majority of the World's Roman Catholics accept the reforms of Vatican II.

Sunday morning... in the snowy desert.

Very, very random reflections.
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"So, watch-ya-doin'?"
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"Juz thinkin'..."
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Can't you just hear Liz Lemon and Kenneth talking like that to each other? And then Jack Donaghy comes along.
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"Go pound sand" ...don't worry, it's just the mood I'm in.
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The church I attended this weekend did not place sand in the holy water fonts this year. What a disappointment. Although I honestly never cared for that, nor do I miss it. I use holy water all of the time and keep it at home anyway - I picked that up in grade school, and then later it was reinforced by Teresa of Avila. Yet do you know why some churches do it? I'm sure you do, but let me remind you. The first Sunday in Lent is always about Christ going into the desert for 40 days - desert = sand - get it? See, liturgists mean well with their innovations, replacing something holy with something banal and useless. Although the novelty wears off quickly after watching the unsuspecting old ladies surprise and subsequent look of irritation, followed by the head-shaking disappointment that an unknown Grinch stole the holy water.
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No NY Times? Watch CBS Sunday Morning.
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Call me Sarah Palin, but I'm not a big newspaper buff. However, I watched Sunday Morning today - I love that show - and I can see the alley from my house. The ads this morning were interesting - to ageing baby-boomers and rock historians maybe. New CD's of old rock stars were promoted, with footage of their recent comeback(?) concerts. I know, I thought they were dead too. There is something so weird, so creepy, so scary - I'm searching for the right adjective - about these old codgers singing and performing on stage. They kind of look like characters out of old horror films, or Sean Penn. I wonder why? Tina Turner is old, but she looks good. Perhaps it's all cosmetics and hair dye? Obviously some old guys dye their hair, but it always looks dyed too - and you can see through that dyed thin hair, turning effervescent red from the sun, onto their white, embalmed looking scalp. My advice - if you like their music - listen but do not ever look. The results can be like the Medusa myth.
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Back to my roots - giving up stuff for Lent - more on the subject.
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Finally - the big topic for Catholic blogs remains Lent. Can't ignore it. Our ascesis and the things we give up should probably cost us something to be worth the effort. Depriving ourselves of legitimate goods creates a sort of barren, arid waste within our souls. The ugly beasts and stinging scorpions emerge - and we can feel miserable and desolate. Because of this, I think the stuff a person does for Lent - what they give up - is best kept a secret; otherwise one runs the risk of a certain satisfaction or gratification, compromising our spiritual solitude. There are much bigger things to focus upon. In particular, those things our self-indulgent, self-gratifying, inordinate attachments masked: the scorpions, snakes and vipers, and other vile beasts lurking in the murky moat surrounding our interior castle. For example:
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The jealousy and envy we covered over with bodily adornments, clothes, tanning products and cosmetics - or various other masquerading pretensions.
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The anger and discontent we drowned in soft drinks, alcohol, or stuffed with food, or obscured in smoke.
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The sadness and grief, even our disillusionment and failures, we assuaged or numbed with TV, the Internet, and in some cases, drug abuse - prescription or illegal.
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In the desert - if the experience is authentic - all of our ugliness comes out. We do not need sand to remind us that our rock-star status is over, and that much of our life has been simply a lovely facade for a tomb filled with dead men's bones.
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You betcha Liz, 40 days is a very short time to amend one's life...

Marie Bernard

St. Bernadette Soubirous
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I watched the French film about Bernadette on EWTN last night. The film is very well done - the more often I see it, the more I appreciate it. I think it is far more factual than the Hollywood film, Song Of Bernadette - although I'm still fond of that version.
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One of the characteristics I like most about St. Bernadette was her humility and simplicity - she never pretended or feigned piety. Nor was she concerned about human respect; a virtue, which by itself contains the power to "scatter the proud in their conceit".

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Repeating myself.

But I have to say it again.
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Watch out who and what you read online. Practice discernment regarding what people claim in their posts, on their sidebars, or in their comment box, even in their blogrolls - this goes for the so-called orthodox as well as anyone else. It is just common sense.
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Keep this motto in mind: "Remember the Legion" in reference to the deceptive ways of the Legionaries and their founder, Fr. Maciel. Claiming orthodoxy and posting rah-rah stuff for the Pope, the TLM, and photos of the cappa magna and yards of lace, or numerous devotionals is not always a guarantee of experiential knowledge, infallibility, virtue, or even correct catechises. When it comes to instructing or recommending things to their readers, if in doubt, do question the author's status, authority, qualifications and/or permissions, as well as their sources. Do your homework.
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This advice coming from a guy who gets deleted from good Catholic blogrolls all of the time. On a forum recently, I read a guy's response to a post I did about signing petitions, and he asked, "Who the hell is Terry Nelson?" See, that is good to ask.
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I won't be fooled again.
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Today I came upon a blog post promoting a deceased man's writings, Anthony de Mello, as well as a priest follower of his work who is offering a feature on his e-parish website promoting so-called contemplative prayer. Obviously the folks falling for this crap are either too young or uninformed to recall or know de Mello's works carry a notification from the CDF - going back to the late 1990's. The CDF's notification ends with the following statement:
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With the present Notification, in order to protect the good of the Christian faithful, this Congregation declares that the above-mentioned positions are incompatible with the Catholic faith and can cause grave harm. - Source
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The document is signed by Cardinal Ratzinger.
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Therefore, even if a priest uses only portions of de Mello's work, I'm somewhat dubious. Is he guided by the Holy Spirit? Remember, there is great gain in religion, as Paul wrote to Timothy, especially when you have a donate button or happen to be offering online services.
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BTW - So who the hell am I? I'm an ordinary Roman Catholic single male who strives to live according to the teachings of the Church, keep the Commandments, practice prayer, try to do penance, frequent the sacraments, and practice works of charity, and though I fail numerous times a day, I keep trying. And when I write something - I check and double check my sources.