Following up

I was looking over some old posts, regarding gay Catholics and the differences of opinion regarding the topic.  Over the years I bent over backwards defending Catholic teaching - because it worked for me.  The more public I became, the more I heard from critics, gay and straight.  Some telling me that my life wasn't good enough - since I lived with a man - my longtime companion.  Over and over again, I had to assure my accusers that I was faithful to Catholic teaching.  Frequently, some would say I couldn't be.  Amazing since my spiritual directors and confessors all agreed that I was.

I'm not portraying myself as a saint or some sort of example, I'm just pointing out how outsiders, those who only know me superficially were so willing to judge me.  Foolishly, I ventured into the gay Catholic controversy with so many people, I can't believe I felt obligated to explain myself.  Some would have me denounce this gay group or that group, this priest or that writer for their support of lgbtq issues.  Sometimes I was told I was risking my immortal soul for not condemning so and so, or some new movement.  Sometimes other bloggers would 'out' me based up nothing factual - just that I was too soft on gay issues.  Many online are always on the hunt, ready to expose gay people - accusing them to be infiltrators.  And I fell for all of that nonsense.

I'm embarrassed for some of the posts I've written, often critical of the diversity of Catholic opinion regarding gay Catholics.  I'm embarrassed that I jumped on that bandwagon myself, so many times.

Now that I'm alone, I have no need to engage on this subject, nothing to prove to anyone.  No one to answer to save Christ. With a heart full of gratitude, I thank our Lord for his grace, his fidelity and his mercy over the years.  He is the one who sanctifies and saves - unmerited by me.  When we cooperate with God's grace which comes to us in Jesus, whose power at work in us can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine.  We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.