Something

Some things I just do not know hoe to respond to.

I got a call the other night from an old friend who wanted to tell me some thing of a very private and personal matter.  It was about something he struggles with.  I was taken aback, since I never even thought he could ever be so troubled.  I didn't know what to say.  Each time he mentioned a specific aspect of his struggle I suggested a book on the issue, or a biography of someone who went through similar things.  Then I suggested this prayer and more frequent confession, but of course he tried that.

It seemed to me he really wanted to unload on me and to express his fondness for me and so on.  I didn't know how to respond.  I knew suggesting this book or that was a slough off, something I've called out others for, but I didn't know how to respond.  I don't know how to respond.

I'm really old fashioned and traditional on sexual morality.  I do not like discussing it any longer.  I believe in what the Church teaches, and if there are any mitigating circumstances regarding culpability when it comes to sexual activity, that is between the penitent and the confessor.  I am not qualified to speak to that.

"Discover not thy heart to every one." - Ecclus, VIII, 22

The only response I can give is to affirm that through prayer and perseverance, chastity is a gift our Lord will give to those who never give up - especially if they have recourse to the Blessed Virgin.  It is sheer grace.  Nothing is impossible with God.  Excuses and justifications do not mitigate guilt - that is a temptation from the world.  If one falls, go to confession - but repent immediately before you get there.  Be sure to continue your spiritual exercises as if nothing happened, so to speak.  Don't give up prayer or repeat the sin, thinking 'I may as well, I'm going to confession anyway.'  That's a temptation from the devil and the flesh.

The remedy is constant prayer and recollection, with humble self-knowledge.  Over and over again, until we realize we can do nothing on our own, that we are absolutely powerless - that Christ has taken on our sins.  That is why we need to look deeply into his wounds, which mirror every sin, yet remain the antidote.  He's our healing and our salvation and our holiness - he is with us, not to guilt us but to free us.  I wish I had the words to express that better - but I would almost say, throw your books and laptops away and get a crucifix, an image of the scourged wounded Christ - as Angela of Foligno said, that is the only book you need.

There are some things I just don't know how to respond to.

Never take a man for your example - however holy he may be - for the devil will show you his faults. -John of the Cross