A Clarification

Stop labelling and judging.

I can't recall ever asking someone if they were gay or if they 'have same-sex attraction'.  Sounds like, do you have a disease?  Are you contagious? 

Neither have I ever asked a person if they are straight., or any category of LGBTQ.  Neither is it how I define myself.  I'm a single, Catholic man.  That's it.

Most of my readers know exactly what the Church says on the subject:

The human person, made in the image and likeness of God, can hardly be adequately described by a reductionist reference to his or her sexual orientation. 

Today, the Church provides a badly needed context for the care of the human person when she refuses to consider the person as a "heterosexual" or a "homosexual" and insists that every person has a fundamental Identity: the creature of God, and by grace, his child and heir to eternal life. - CDF

I kind of touched on this in yesterday's post, and many other times in the past.  I find the SSA versus Gay identity the same as 'apples and oranges' it's a bit disingenuous.  If someone asks, "Do you have same-sex attraction?'" it's not unlike asking if a person is gay.  At least normal people see it that way, not everyone is a student of moral theology, while ordinary parlance uses the term gay.  As Seinfeld would say, 'nothing wrong with that'.  Others might say, 'it doesn't matter to me, but I need to know where you are coming from and if you have that 'problem' I'm not sure I can trust you.'  At least that's the interpretation I get when they say such things.

That's quite alright and something I am used to, BTW.  To label, to categorize, to discriminate is necessary for some, as one reader expressed it, in order 'to make sure so as to verify that I am interpreting correctly.'  After the clarification, it's not uncommon for one to distance himself from the other.  It happens all of the time and like I said, I've written about it several times.  Likewise, those people who 'suffer from SSA' will distance themselves because they see people like me as some sort of threat.

Letting go.

Strange as it may sound, I have come to understand and accept that Catholic married friends with children, would distance themselves to keep me at a distance - to protect their children.  That being in the same sense Cardinal Burke once expressed, “If homosexual relations are intrinsically disordered, which indeed they are — reason teaches us that and also our faith — then, what would it mean to grandchildren to have present at a family gathering a family member who is living [in] a disordered relationship with another person?”

Personally, I think that's not in keeping with what the Holy Father recommends, but I understand the fears some people have.  I also get that some people have a very strong natural repugnance to LGBTQ persons.  Some are unable to differentiate those who have reformed their lifestyles, leaving sinful acts behind, from those who have not.  Thus they regard every glance, every conversation, even every touch - as when someone accidentally brushes up against one - they regard it as grooming or a come-on.  There is always a lingering fear or mistrust, because they can't see the person without the label of SSA-Gay.

Dan Mattson famously wrote a book, "Why I Don' Call Myself Gay" and when it came to light he had some skeletons in his closet, he was promptly dropped from the speaker-tour-circuit.  When Michael Voris revealed that part of his past, he initially lost followers as well, and many still consider him SSA-Gay.

Consequently, from now on we regard no one according to the flesh ... - 2Cor. 5

I've never asked someone if they were gay or had a condition called same-sex attraction.  As a painter, and artist, I believe we all have same-sex attraction, just as we find animals beautiful and attractive.  I don't associate lust with the term.

I believe what the Church teaches on sexuality, marriage and gender, yet to constantly go about making that proclamation seems a bit like virtue signally, or worse, looking for some sort of acceptance, praise and affirmation because you no longer are like those 'wretched LGBTQ perverts.' It has always struck me as hypocritical.  It's a situation between God and the soul, between the minister of the sacrament of penance and the penitent - otherwise, in the words of the Pope, 'who are we to judge?'

Like I said, I've written about all of this many times.  It just keeps happening, however.  I realize others must go through the same thing, and it can be discouraging, or a bit sad.  It's a blessing in disguise however, since one is able to reaffirm their faith and commitment to fidelity to Christ and the Church.  

That said, it still amazes me when it happens, especially since many Catholics love to bang the theologically correct rules over the heads of anyone who uses LGBTQ terminology or dares to say 'I'm gay - but celibate' - in other words, they live a chaste life in obedience to Catholic teaching. Yeah but! You can't say gay, you can't be gay and Catholic. Then, you can't have gay friends. Once Fr. Z asked, "Why would anyone want gay friends?" There seems to be an entirely occult list of protocols one needs to adhere to in order to be a good Catholic suffering from same sex attraction. The language on both sides of this coin is so convoluted and dissociative, it's frustrating as hell. Who wants that sort of identity in the first place? Why would you even tell anyone you have same sex attraction - like it's a disease - what does that even mean to anyone outside the confessional? I certainly do not suffer from same sex attraction - I've suffered temptations against chastity, but attractive people do not in anyway cause me to suffer.

I'll close with a quote from Fr. Scalia:

Courage is aptly named. The world offers two extremes in response to the issue of homosexuality. One extreme is love without truth. That is, to “love” the person by approving whatever lifestyle he may choose. Thus, homosexual activities are approved in the name of love. The other extreme is truth without love – that is, to run roughshod over persons in the articulation and pursuit of the truth. Thus true doctrine is proclaimed, but the person is left without help. Men and women with same-sex attractions therefore find themselves caught between the extremes of a false love and a loveless truth. One side condemns them to a life of immoral behavior, the other to cold doctrine. It takes courage to resist both the depravity of the first and the discouragement of the second. - Fr. Paul Scalia, Same-sex attractions: Part III

St. Mary Magdalene

"The watchmen came upon me, as they made their rounds of the city: 'Have you seen him whom my heart loves?'  I had hardly left them when I found him whom my heart loves." - Songs 3

Jesus seeks us first, and finds us where we are and draws us after him in the odor of the ointments Mary used to anoint his body.  Don't be discouraged by those who bind up burdens too heavy to carry.