If you really seek God, don't go to strangers. Go to Christ, to the Church. He is living and present in the sacraments, touchable in the Eucharist. Peter points the way for the Catholic. The Pope is Christ's vicar on earth. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Catholic teaching cannot change. God's mercy is inexhaustible. If on your way you see it differently, keep praying, keep trying, keep seeking, the Holy Spirit will correct you. Be close to the Blessed Virgin and trust in the Divine Mercy.
"What the devil can't do himself he does by using other people. He takes up his position on the tongues and in the hearts of his servants and before their mind's eye. He makes them see what doesn't exist. So they conceive within their hearts all sorts of evil thoughts and resentments regarding their neighbors - often regarding those they most love." - S. Catherine of Siena
Read the Scriptures, the New Testament. Go to adoration - it doesn't matter if the Sacrament is exposed - Christ is in the tabernacle. Visit him. Pray deeply, hidden with Christ in God.
It is the will of God, even if you were living among devils, you should so live as not to turn back in thought to consider what they are doing, but forget them utterly. You are to keep your soul wholly to God, and not to suffer the thought of this or that to disturb you. - John of the Cross