Monday, March 17, 2014

"I wish he'd never been born."



Peter Lanza said that about his son Adam.

Such a terrible story, one can understand how he could say that, after all that happened.  I read the New Yorker story and feel so sorry for the families - Peter Lanza and all the families of the victims and survivors.  I looked for the magazine in a couple of stores this weekend, but it was sold out.  I found the story online here.

Read it.  It may help you understand why joking about taking people out and shooting them is not funny and is extremely inappropriate hyperbole.

Read it.

"I wish he'd never been born."

What caught my attention is the statement "I wish he'd never been born."  I think I understand how and why Mr. Lanza could say that.  Especially after reading the article, and of course, after learning the details of the massacre, and the innocents who were killed - I can understand.  Yet it was that statement which prompted me to read the story.

It's a terrible thing to say.

I say that, because it reminded me how my mother used to say such things to me - "I wish you'd never been born." - she had undiagnosed mental illness - most likely bipolar, and she drank.  Once she threatened to slash my throat with a kitchen knife.  I never thought she meant it - but I never felt secure in my parent's home either.  (My dad displayed life-threatening behavior as well.)  As an adult, while they were still alive, I kept a distance from them, unable to understand why they insisted they wanted me to come home to visit or stop by.  They truly never liked me - as a child I was a terrible burden for them.  I was there when they died - and they died peacefully, thanks be to God - but I never really knew them.

Anyway.

Parents, love your kids - don't leave them alone - no matter what.  Moms and dads - be good, be holy.  Don't be unfaithful.  Don't leave.  Don't divorce.  Don't hate your kids.  Don't shirk your responsibility towards them.  Love them.  Sacrifice your self for them.



Art: Stefano Di Stasio

9 comments:

  1. Thank you for linking to the New Yorker article, Terry. I started reading it at someone's house but did not get to finish it. It is truly a tragedy beyond words.

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  2. I haven't read the article and am not sure I could stomach to do so. I saw the report on the evening news last week about this interview coming out and the comment of the father made me sick, as did the photo that was shown of Adam Lanza wearing what I can only describe as a diabolic expression. It is difficult to feel sympathy for a person who can massacre 6-yr-olds but it occurred to me that had he been given the help and the love he needed and not an arsenal of assault weapons to play with, Adam Lanza and those whose lives he snuffed out might still be with us. Guns are no laughing matter. And maybe his father should have stuck around for the sake of his kid.

    You know, for the first time in a long time, I am posting from a computer, and I can see how much I've missed! I love your new graphic (the blog no one reads ha ha) The other day I wanted to repost something from Father Z's place on my Facebook page (as it was related to the area where I live) and I was mortified that when I did, that Ammunition Depot graphic came up and not the one that was associated with the article. I couldn't delete it fast enough!

    I have missed this :)

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  3. Experts can attempt to come to some kind of psychological/psychiatric cause for horrors like this but what is missing is the spiritual. The demonic has this utter hatred and contempt for human life, esp. the innocent. I'm afraid we're going to see a lot more of this. Jesus, mercy!

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    1. I agree with this understanding. The spiritual influences are often dismissed or not investigated in anyway. The demonic knows how to manipulate our weaknesses, our wounds. Without God, we do fall prey.

      Just a week or so ago upon reading a news article my attention was brought back to the Columbine school killings. What never was included in the reports was the 'death' curriculum that had been instituted in which the teen killers were instructed. Just recently the WSJ report on this type of curriculum -http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304104504579377160102817476 and
      an older report - 20/20 1990-Death Education: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbiY6Fz6Few ]

      So too, several years later another incident was reported in the media (2011) that raised questions in some corridors wondering if sexual abuse was the 'January incident' cryptically spoken about by one of the killer teens that triggered the two, already troubled boys, on their murderous spree. [http://blogs.denverpost.com/crime/2011/12/01/pat-sullivan-arapahoe-sheriff-arrest/2981/]

      "The demonic has this utter hatred and contempt for human life, esp. the innocent"

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    2. Definitely a possibility - demonic influence or possession.

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  4. Oh my gosh. I thought I was the only one who felt like a knife went through my heart when he said that. Right from the beginning it was clear that Adam Lanza wasn't right in the head. Only by the grace of God are we free from such horrifying illness. Then the father admits the kid was sick in the head and still says that. I

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    1. I know... but his grief must be excruciating.

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  5. I probably shouldn't comment too much on this post as I do not want to read the linked piece, but had the father titled it, "I wish I'd never been born," I think I might have. Parents who give their all for their marriages, will also give their all for their kids, and oftentimes these types of people who never say die, come from extended families that hold the same strengths, some of whom are big Catholic families, and the aunts and the uncles, and grandmas and grandpas, with one or two priests or nuns thrown in for good measure, will then also help out the afflicted, and if that were the case with Adam Lanza, maybe this tragedy would not have happened. I'm more surprised that these killings do not happen more often than they do, with the high divorce rate in our country. Your finishing of your post, Terry, is quite possibly one of the best I've ever read on this or any other blog. Forty two words of sheer wisdom. Thank you!

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  6. I'd be remiss not to add this link, Terry, to the most beautiful [truly spectacular] prayer to St. Dymphna, penned, I would imagine, by Fr. Mark Kirby: http://vultus.stblogs.org/index.php/2014/01/supplica-to-saint-dympna-virgi/

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