The Feast of Stephen.
I should write something - especially after the last post. I don't know what to write however. I also don't feel like it.
At one point I stopped really preparing for Christmas. I sent out some cards, but didn't finish. I think a lot of people didn't send cards. Word must have gotten around that Darold died, because he didn't receive any cards. A couple of his friends were my friends too, and they never even acknowledged his death when I sent them notice, much less responded with a Christmas card. That was a good lesson for me - I believed they were my friends - but they were simply being polite. The Imitation of Christ has some things to say about that - which helped me very much. It is better for me. It's a lesson I always need repeating - those who flatter you deceive you. Likewise, it's could to have people recognize our faults and failings, As St. Philip Neri admonished: "He who cannot put up with the loss of his honour, can never make any advance in spiritual things."
There you have it, and I'm quite content to accept my outcast state.
When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings. - Sonnet 29
In conclusion, one excellent gift has been the reconnecting with my family, especially my sister and nieces and relatives. For much of my life I thought of friends - many of whom are no longer in touch with me - as family. While my real family felt alienated without understanding why. Our Lady Undoer of Knots took care of that!
Happy Christmas!
It is such a strange time in which we find ourselves, dear Terry.
ReplyDeleteMy parish, built to be a cathedral (but we were never made a diocese - maybe God's joke!) only had 40 people show up for the 10 PM Christmas Eve Mass and about 75 for midnight Mass. We had a rather wild snowstorm going on (12" of snow by morning - I know, sissy stuff by Minnesota standards!) But I think Jesus understood.
Sometimes, it's good to have some quiet, solitary time. Our good St. Francis understood this - he, who was the life of the party and brought such joy to everyone he touched.
I know we really do not know each other, but may I offer you comfort and peace from here in Ohio? And please, keep writing if the Spirit (the Holy Spirit, that is!) moves you. I not only enjoy reading what you write, but keeping up with you.
Holy Christmas, brother!
Probably you won't catch this comment Terry: I am 'behind" in everything: I had no 'Christmas' to speak of: will work New Years Eve as well as Day: I thank the good Lord that I can and do work: at 67 I am 15 years older than two other oldest: and 40 older than "the kids" who are so sweet to me. God answers prayers in the most quiet of ways, and we do not even Notice necessarily that He has done so until some time may pass by. I ran into the man who crushed me over 30 years ago, the very one who compelled me into 'having' an abortion. From which I suffer and will do so until my own death. This is as it should be, I have come to know and accept: what is the word I look for ? where one makes recompense for one's self as well as for those who did not/do not know what they have done. anyway: I ran into him and his wife - mentioned my poor pay, a few other issues: and he came to my door a few days later with a wad of cash. and I, prior, alone and with him: came out with some good memories....it was like an ice breaker plowing through an ice berg, in my heart: the day may be near when he & I can speak of our past. There are such tragedies in every life: if we are lucky we are conscious of them, carry them with us, and yet are not weighted down. anyway: prayers. lots of them. for you dear Terry; my friend. love.
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