New Age Catholicism

It's not just for liberation-progressive-rainbow-coalition-male/female-nuns anymore.

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I was at adoration this afternoon - I try to keep Wednesdays as a day of recollection. I like it when I'm the only one in the church. As it turned out, one of the local mystics was there with me today. (I blame the charismatic community at Regina high school in the early '70's for all this crap, including the protestantization of South Minneapolis parishes - but that is another post.)

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I didn't know my new friend was a mystic - he wouldn't even acknowledge me in the past, but today was the day he decided to talk, and he told me all about it for over an hour. Evidently She (the Holy Spirit) wanted him to reveal these things to me today. I listened patiently, smiling and nodding, and at the first opportunity I said politely, "Well thanks for stopping to talk, but we shouldn't be having a conversation while the Blessed Sacrament is exposed."

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"Oh that's all right," he interrupted, "He told me it was okay. He wants us to talk in front of Him." And he started in again before I could say anything. I smiled and looked in his general direction and prayed my rosary silently while he spoke, offering an occasional nod as if I was listening. Another person came in and I whispered, "Now we really should stop so as not to disturb that poor lady."

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"Naw! She knows me and knows all about this stuff." And without stopping for a breath, he continued on before I could reason with him. I smiled and appeared to listen in peace while I quietly prayed my rosary, although I was greatly agitated. Did you know agitation is often a sign of a bad spirit, and not just a lack of patience?

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Finally he had to leave to eat supper, "or the wife's gonna be pissed", it was about 4PM. I just stared at the monstrance after he left. I was completely stunned. I thought, "Why me Lord, why do I attract these people?"

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It is the story of my life. It is why I never get involved in church crap. All the visionaries and locutionists seem to be attracted to me and tell me all about their wack job revelations. I'm not kidding - if they aren't having private revelations, they've got a conspiracy theory, or they discovered theology of the body and love supercedes morality. But I digress. So today this guy - who looks perfectly normal mind you - told me how the Father revealed to him that the AC/DC are amongst us already. I didn't ask, but he told me what that meant: The anti-Christ and his demonic-companion, but he would not - could not at this time, reveal their identity. Like I said, I didn't ask. He sees demons and angels all the time and has been caught up into heaven too many times to tell - out of body - and the devil is scared of him. In fact he was just in Starbucks the other night with one of his prophet friends when a "really, really handsome guy came in" and it was Satan incognito. The evil one came over and asked he and his friend if they were homosexuals...

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Why O Lord do you permit this crap?

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Then get this. After adoration the woman who had walked in on the session came up to me to find out what he said to me, and without going into detail, I said it was mystical BS. She said, "Well I don't know about that - it might be true - but I told him not to talk about that stuff during adoration." I looked at Our Lady's statue in desperation and silently pleaded, "Mother of God, am I imagining this? Oh never mind, don't answer that!"

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Holy crap! I've gotta get a new parish.

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PEOPLE! Stop all this Medjugorje-private-revelation-Jesus-tells-me-stuff bullshit.

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No wonder nonreligious people don't want anything to do with religion.