Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Internet is the Beast!

WARNING!
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I've been trying to tell people, but they wouldn't listen. Al Gore knew all about it when he invented the Internet. Why do you think the Pope had never heard that Bishop Williamson was a Holocaust denier and British?
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Adoro is right - the web awards are evil... Blogger, Twitter and Facebook - It is all EVIL!**
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Look at the lives that have been destroyed by online addiction. Monks have left their Abbeys, priests frolic on beaches - "Keep your hands to yourself Cutie!" Nuns get ordained, Bishops go gay.
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Catholic wives post pin up boys on their blogs that promote marital sex acts no self respecting... you finish that sentence Ward! I'm too worried about the Beaver.
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People go online, get a blog, maybe even 2 or 3 of them, and they quit their jobs without any prospect for another - and they are out on the street, drunk, twittering all over town, hangin' out with old men who ought to know better.
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Then there are those Internet pirates - sneaking around, cutting and pasting stories just so they can have multiple posts a day and pass themselves off as a news blog.
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I've seen lawyers stop people on the street, asking them to pose in provocative poses while they took shameful and many times racist photos of them - just to have something different for their blogs and Facebook profile.
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Some people have been driven to insanity and are now completely lost in cyberspace someplace over Australia... I can't tell you Jeffrey's name though.
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I just heard of a woman blogger turned stalker, calling fellow bloggers and harassing them - just like Beverly Sutphin in "Serial Mom"! (REAL WARNING!!! DO NOT click on the link if you are offended by bad language.) This very same person warned me of the duplicity of bloggers who call and email one another, gossiping about fellow bloggers. How insane is that.
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Not a few have willfully gone over to the dark side, actually compromising their integrity by marketing their blogs for the Whore of Babylon: Paypal, Google ads, donate buttons, and so on.
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The Internet has turned others into compulsive automatons, driving deluded mixed-up-Catholic-nun-wanna-be-orthodox-single-mothers to such lengths as inventing awards so that their stat counters shoot through the roof - just because people have to return, day after day to place a vote.
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We have all heard how the Internet traps some people into pornography, and so when we see Catholic dads posting and reading Catholic blogs, Marge Simpson says things like, "Oh. Isn't he good. Evangelizing on line." NO! He's addicted to fame - "Fame! I want to live forever..." you know the lyrics. Maybe he was in the seminary and so now he thinks he should be preaching - pretty soon he will want to be ordained and get a TV show! The wife becomes an Internet widow and the kids video game orphans, all because he's always online. The upshot? The Internet is breaking up families.
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IT'S A MONSTER PEOPLE AND IT IS EATING US UP!
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Don't forget to vote for Fr. Eric Richsteig over at Cannonball Run.
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**Actually, Adoro didn't really say that, and this post is just a joke - none of it is true, Al Gore did not invent the Internet, and Mrs. Cleaver is very nice, prim and proper. Can't vouch for the others however.
And no - I did not do the drawing.

8 comments:

  1. Terry, all that for some votes?? How ironic that you had to be on the Internet to write that.

    I'm going over to CC's and voting for you...again!

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  3. Anonymous9:42 PM

    I tell ya, you could make a fortune writing fiction!

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  4. Tara: This is Ter's reality!

    Ter: I see this shameless attempt to be snarkier than me! Meow. We should go get more food together. We can be whoever we want to be.

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  5. Anonymous10:42 AM

    No, it's all true!

    I like the cartoon--from a Jack Chick tract, isn't it? :-P

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  6. Anonymous11:09 AM

    (My)Facebook, Myspace, self-video, self-publishing, self-photo albums, TwitterThis, MyBlog, MyChurchBlog, MyChurchBlogCommentRules, MyPopeCanTakeYours, BookWealtyCruiseApologistFaceTimeWithMe .. my, my, MYYYYY.. and yet despite even a quadrillion unique hits, everyone's more lonely than ever? Could it be that cyberchurch is mostly of New Looney Tunes -- sorta like New Far Side's "Obama-Gets-Religion"? Well, yeah.. and it might be even worse. At best, in ten online years spent exclusively amidst Catholics, I've not seen much that justifies dragging Christ into it. We were supposed to serve the Lord, not self and mammon (and awards do not translate to serving one another).

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  7. Gette - I really do think it can be.

    Poor Servant - I see your point.

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  8. Larry - yes - now go vote again!;)

    Cath, Cath, Cath.

    Thanks Tara.

    Belinda, that is the only thing I have ever been good at - losing friends.

    ReplyDelete


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