Tuesday, August 21, 2007

"What the heck goes through your mind?"

Private thoughts from the toilet... made public.
My mother often asked me that question; "What the hell goes through your mind?", and I'd lie and say, "I don't know?" Another time a commenter to this blog scolded me and wrote, "You don't have to write everything you think about." (I thought, "Oh shut up!")

Most people who read my posts and are the recipients of my comments also wonder the same thing. So here are some things I think about when I'm engaged in mindless works, such as brushing my teeth and other stuff - geniuses do their best thinking in the shower you know!

Some things I thought about today while showering and shaving...
Women and make-up. Why do they wear it? I have to admit that I like women with make-up - if they do it right. I love dark smokey eyes on women - like Janet Jackson used to wear - I've always liked women with eye-liner and heavy mascara. I hate colored eye shadows though - you know, how old women wear blues and greens, and you can see all the creases.

I hate hard, red lips - especially on blondes... now this thought came to me as I looked in the mirror, with foamy toothpaste dripping out of my mouth, down my chin, and I noticed that my lips were darker than the rest of the skin on my face. So then I wondered why and realized that is why women wear dark lipstick - you get it? I still like pale lips though.
Have you ever wondered what happens to the stuff you flush down the toilet? Like where does it go? I know, the sewer and the sewage plant - but how does it get there from my house? Is it a continual flow of water that carries it away?
Thinking about bloggers, I wondered how many there are who really do have mental problems - or how many are as Catholic as they seem to be? Don't you ever wonder about that? Then I said to myself, "Don't get started on that bullshit!" I drive myself nuts sometimes. A very long time ago, when I would drop acid - years ago - no one liked to trip with me because I'd get so intense about analyzing people and things. I always ended up freaking out because I ended up categorizing and pigeon-holing everyone, and I didn't like what I saw. I think that is why I now like mentally ill people so much - they do that - it doesn't mean they are right of course. I wasn't always correct.
Arguing with people. Why do people who disagree, while both believing that what they believe is truth, bother to argue or debate? Doesn't the one cancel out the other? Say you meet someone who by his lifestyle and actions is hell-bent on going to hell, and he doesn't believe as you do about salvation and stuff. Why not leave him alone and let him go to hell?
Normal - in a way I always wanted to be normal, but when I looked around at what people commonly associate with normal - it scared the hell out me. Mental people often think they are normal - these are some of the types who blog. (Remember, I'm not normal, so I'm in another category. And both my Dr. and Spiritual Director told me I'm not mentally ill! Gosh! That means I'm culpable then!)
"Your life is in the toilet."
As I was shaving, I had to wonder why I do it - shaving that is. (I haven't shaved in 3 days.) I'm just as ugly shaven or unshaven - why do I even care how I look? When I go to the store - which I intend to do in a minute - I'll see ugly fat people just like me who don't care what they look like. A lot of guys don't shave - well - some women don't either.

Why do women have to wear skirts and dresses? What's wrong with wearing pants - if they didn't wear dresses and skirts, they wouldn't have to shave - same with sleeveless tops. Women make their lives hard for themselves - men don't.
Bitch, bitch
A commenter on another post on same sex sexual harassment was miffed that I excluded male to female sexual harassment. Hello! That's all we ever hear about anyway. She mentioned how guys always look at her boobs. I wanted to ask, well do you wear tight tops? Do you wear t-shirts with printing on them? Do guys read the printing? I mean, where are people supposed to look, busty? Dress like a slut - look like a slut - a guy is going to look... not that wearing printed t-shirts is slutty - not at all - I was just thinking of how some younger women do kind of dress, should I say, less modestly.

Impressions - snap judgements - we all fall prey to that stuff... it gets old - and we are usually wrong about something. (Except me - I really know a great deal about people...)
Speaking of old - Dyed hair. Not on old guys. Most women probably should dye their hair though - or at least get hi-lights. (If they dye their hair, they should always have hi-lights, otherwise it looks dyed, and that looks dumb. Just like women with tight perms.)
Somehow all of this leads back to eternity - not the cologne though. Every once in a while I get this "Ah! I don't know what" feeling popping into my consciousness. I once referred to this as a 'contemplative moment' and some bitch commented, "I don't think there are any contemplatives here" - she meant on my blog. (See how scary it is to reveal your true thoughts?)
Ms. Religious-know-it-all-I-have-a-degree-in-theology didn't get the point. What I was referring to was when sometimes, just for a split second, you can get a glimpse - it happens to kids all of the time - like when they are starring at the sky and the thought of eternity enters in, only to disappear before they can grasp it... faster than the speed of light. It happens. And when it happens, most of the stuff I think about seems pretty stupid.
Mindless drifting
I wondered who is going to win "America's Got Talent" tonight as well. Don't you just love Sharon Osborne? She used to be a porker.

Then I was thinking how Chris Cuomo on GMA reminds me of Little Freak. I felt badly because Little Freak hasn't called, stopped over - even though I never let him in - he hasn't emailed, nothing. All I can think of is that he's found out the true me and doesn't like me.
(I think Fergie is hot.)

When my mother was dying and she and I were planning her funeral, she told me she was sure no one would ever show up because no one liked her. (That's where I got that attitude!) Her funeral was packed with people I had never met - losers she had often been kind to and befriended, as well as a few notable people. (A tear; forefinger tracing it down my cheek.)
We are all going to die - then everyone will know...
Are you ever afraid that if people find out the true you they won't like you? I know! And that explains why I never socialize, talk on the phone, or write about what goes through my mind - although I'm kind of doing that now.

I have to go to the store, and the bank, and I want to make a visit at Church. They lock up in the afternoon, so I pull up to the door in my car, and sit there, making my visit from outside - since the entire church is really one big tabernacle - don't you agree? After all, Matt Talbot used to kneel in prayer on the church steps before the sacristan unlocked it for morning Mass.
Anyway - I really have to go - but I thought I'd write about what goes through my mind. It changes all the time - LOL!


  1. Anonymous5:32 PM

    You're nuts and I love you for it.

  2. Sorry Jeron, I was told I wasn't nuts. LOL!

  3. Ummm, not sure what to say to all this. I'm glad you're not mentally ill, but getting a second opinion wouldn't hurt. LOL!! I guess stream of consciousness stuff is good, at least you're conscious. I went from your AR2 blog with a serene picture of Princess Grace to this post...I think I need a drink.

  4. I'm an expert on some things:

    "Have you ever wondered what happens to the stuff you flush down the toilet?"

    Few people live right above a sewage treatment plant.

    So the waste leaves their house and moves downhill by gravity into lateral sewer lines that become larger and larger trunk and interceptor lines and finally they come to a low spot, that might be still many miles from the treatment plant.

    At the low spot is a "lift station" where all the collected sewage is pumped up to sewer pipes much higher where the waste again flows by gravity through larger and larger pipes, most often to one or more lift stations where the pumping and gravity flow is repeated until finally it reaches the sewage treatment plant where it is treated and then discharged into a river or lake.

    The things you can learn on a blog.

  5. Monica - LOL! Enjoy the drink!

    Thanks Ray - I was going to send that question into WCCO's Good Question thing if no one clarified it for me - it's really been bothering me.

  6. Anonymous3:57 AM

    Love the post! Perhaps you might link to me...since you like people with a mental illness...& since i have one & all that!
    You raise a good question..how do we know all these bloggers are so catholic..i feel we get a very sanitised version of events..i try & bring up my relative's difficulties & the stigma of the mentally ill...anyway God bless

  7. Jackie - Thanks for your comments and I will happily link to you. I so hope you weren't offended by the post. A former employee and a dear friend is diagnosed bi-polar, and I enjoy her friendship very much. We often joke around in the same way I have done in this post.

    There is a decided stigma attached to mental illness and I've posted seriously about it before. I so hope you were not offended.

    God bless you.


  8. On the women and pants issue. I keep the skirts long and wear boots and the depilation thing isn't so urgent. Also knees aren't nice, alluring objects, are they?

    Another reason why pants aren't a good thing for women is what is referred to in these parts as "the camel toe"...nuff said.


  10. rita ~ That's not a problem if the pants fit right! LOL!

  11. rita and adoro - I never knew what that meant until I looked it up today.

  12. Holy Hell... you and I think about the same things! Interesting tid bit on the poop thought... did you know that on an air craft carrier, the poo is purified before it is dumped into the ocean? Wonder what they purify it with though, and what color it ends up when it it done being purified, I mean, is is white now? I don't know, but I can spend many a moment on the toilet thinking about that.
    Oh, and the toothpaste dripping down your chin image-GROSS! My husband does that, and he talks to me while his brushes dropping toothpaste spit on the carpet and down his chin. I have to leave the room-I can't handle it. Why can't you just brush without the toothpaste dripping down your chin? I think you should spit more.

  13. Just an observation...what you're saying with this post is that you're a guy, and your mind smells like a high school lockeroom, right?

    Is that supposed to be shocking?



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