Friday, April 01, 2011

Marijuana use approved for Caenacle Retreat Centers.


Who knew?
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"Contemporary life is just too stressful for the average contemplative," stated Sr. Mary Jane Hemp.  Sr. Hemp explained that limited use of marijuana seems to help in centering a retreatant's focus.  "Our community promotes Catering Prayer made simple through drugs.  Ideally peyote is our first drug of choice, but we are not a native American community and therefore are not authorized  for its use.  Since medical marijuana is widely available for use, we've selected it to spiritually medicate and relaz - err, relax our retreatants.  The community enjoys it as well" 
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As the interview continued, Sr. Hemp appeared to be disinterested in discussing marijuana use for meditation.  When asked to further explain the benefits of the practice, Sr. looked puzzled, giggled and then replied,  "What?"
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The interview ended abruptly.
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Editor's note:  Caenacle retreat centers are staffed by a new contemplative religious community of 'hermits' of Diocesan right, known as the Sisters and Brothers of the Higher Power.  The community was originally founded as a nursing order (see photo), but later decided to go completely contemplative.  They now operate for profit religious retreat centers in undisclosed remote areas in the Arizona/California desert regions.  They also offer Oriental healing and massage, as well as yoga - in addition to hair styling make-overs.  Catering Prayer seems to be the most popular however.  The community refers to it as Catering Prayer due to the fact that the religious serve snacks during meditation.  The rather corpulent Sr. Santa Marta Basuco, procurator for the communtity explained, "You see, marijuana tends to increase the user's appetite."
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Brother Founder

10 comments:

  1. We all know that Pewsitters is hitting the chronic, which explains the paranoia.

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  2. michael r.6:21 PM

    April fools!

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  3. Terry maybe, buddy. I was totes serious. :-p

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  4. lol!!!!! And, yet, more than believable, really, in the wacky Catholic world in which we all live. Don't you think?

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  5. I forgot to put in the disclaimer here: This post is an April Fool's joke.

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  6. For a moment I thought you were describing the "nones" at our diocesan centre....

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  7. Just sipping coffee8:29 AM

    I think it may be a prophetic vision. Once an "open society" is fully embraced, the spiritual retreat cntrs that had embraced the Eastern invasion decades back will transform again by a greater integration of the indigenous practices of the shamanic way...

    I jest not.

    Here are quotes from a "Celtic" priest (Not Roman) who spoke last month at a retreat spiritual center facilitated by Catholic sisters. The quote is taken from a posted essay titled, Gay Marriage & God, from his website-

    [http://www.daramolloy.com/DaraMolloy/Writings/GayMarriage.html]:

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  8. just sipping coffee8:32 AM

    [http://www.daramolloy.com/DaraMolloy/Writings/GayMarriage.html]:

    "What is it in our Western culture that has led us into such a narrow and repressive view of sexuality? In answering this question, I look at the subject from the perspective of spirituality and religion.

    ...There is a fundamental difference between any indigenous culture of native peoples on the one hand, and a modern multinational culture to be found today on the other..."

    "The other approach is to work against this all-... and to enable the rebuilding of locally rooted, indigenous cultures that bring diversity back into cultural expression.

    Clearly, I am on the side of indigenous cultures and against globalisation."

    "...Within the myth of monotheism, common to Judaism, Islam, Christianity and a number of other smaller religions, there is no place for the sexual act and no place for a sexual relationship among partners of any kind. God is a single parent who forbids any talk about his former wife..."

    "...The longterm goal is more radical, by which I mean tackling the roots of the problem. The roots of the problem lie in a monotheism..."

    " ... The spiritual vacuum that is now present through the disillusionment with church and religion is causing a search for other ways of expressing our spirituality. A clear signpost on the road is the indigenous spiritual traditions, and for Ireland, the Celtic spiritual tradition..."

    "...We have many examples in indigenous traditions of how the gifted energies of homosexually oriented people were often channelled into the community by way of shamanic and artistic roles. From these traditions, we can find our feet again, learning to celebrate life's energies rather than suppress them."

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  9. just sipping coffee8:57 AM

    Master Molloy's reflection brought to mind Harry Hay's ideas roote, in part in Native American Spirituality [or at least, his interpretation of them], and to recall the article posted at Mary Victrix - Alternate States of Unreality -

    [http://maryvictrix.wordpress.com/2011/02/09/alternate-states-of-unreality/]

    and the influence of the shamanic renewal mvmt:

    http://www.shamanicjourney.com/

    http://www.biopark.org/peru/schedule.html

    ... as spoken earlier, perhaps it is prophetic...

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