The Animal's Nativity.

Painting.
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I'm back to painting in my typical style. I'm painting The Animal's Nativity. I set out to do an illumination type painting, then I inserted a dog, a cat, soon a rabbit, and mouses... The dog is bigger than Our Lady, and Joseph is holding the Bambino. It will be a pazzo Nativity - not at all like the masterpiece above - but the cats will like it very much. Xena-Celine sits on a little rug atop my painting table as I work. I doubt I'll finish it by Christmas - although it ought to be done by Twelfth Night - but I'm not concerned about completing it.
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Making up your own traditions.
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It occurred to me that if one is alone, or one half of a couple, or even with a small family - it could be fun to try and make things for Christmas - even "on" Christmas, or to "do" things around the home. What if you decorated the tree closer to Christmas or on Christmas Eve - it doesn't have to be done all at once - but could be stretched over a few days, only to be completed Christmas Eve. It should be an enjoyable task, and not a drudgery. So often we work very hard to complete things, to get things done, only to be disappointed and let down after everything is "perfect" - although it is never perfect.
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Christmas is very much about the imperfect. Imperfect trees, imperfect dinners, imperfect wines, imperfect gifts, imperfect relatives and friends, imperfect me. You get the picture.
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And don't forget, Christmas is a season that only begins on Christmas Eve. And if you have to visit many people, remember the Three Kings never made it to Bethlehem until 12th Night.
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Works for me.

More on Christmas cards.

When you care enough to send the very best.

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I just ran across a blog that advises one should only send Christmas cards with a Christian image and greeting, in order to let the manufacturers know what sells. I doubt I even have to say what I think of that nonsense.

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Capturing the charm of that "hand-made" look.

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The image above is an example of a type of humorous Christmas card I like to send to friends who either are not religious, or simply like a good laugh. When one opens the card, which appears to be home-made, the verse looks as if it had been typed on an old fashioned type-writer. In this case, the verse reads:

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"the kids? out back playing with their new empty boxes. season's greetings."

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How lovely and thoughtful. Now who wouldn't know this is a Christmas card? This card would be perfect to send to a family on welfare, or even those newly weds with children, who live in a house they can't afford.

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Suitable for framing.

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I like to refer to this type of card as; "dysfunctional greetings". Yet the producers of the greeting card line describe their product as; "greetings that push buttons, poke fun, and provoke something." Whatever, it is all in fun. Send it to the right people and you may never have to bother with sending another card to them again.

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This line of cards has been around for several years now, and I never tire of them. The company is MikWright, Ltd. The cards retail at about $3.50 each. MikWright also produces cocktail napkins. The napkins use the same photo format with captions that poke fun at, ridicule, and shame alcoholics back into drinking. They are great for AA meetings and get togethers.

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Tim and Phyllis have a website too: www.mikwright.com

The art of Christmas cards: Part Two

Happy Holidays!

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Christmas cards are looked upon by many discerning individuals as a little gift - perhaps even a treasure. Some folks go to great pains searching for just the right card to send to people they like, but may not always see. In addition to funny cards - which are great to send to busy or depressed people to give them a little laugh - I like to send fine art cards on beautiful stock, or create cards of my own, taking time to paint or draw something from the heart. I consider all greetings as little acts of love, to demonstrate to others they are in my thoughts and prayers, and how much I wish we could take a nap together or something. (Figuratively speaking.)

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Sadly, many people seem to take holiday cards for granted, just sending them out of a sense of social obligation. "Look at the cheap card she sent, now I have to waste a stamp on her. Maryann never did have taste did she." Of course some folks count and measure their friends by the amount of cards they receive, or what they wrote, and so on. Very, very religious people actually complain if the card does not read, "Merry Christmas" or if it doesn't depict a pious 'seasonal' theme. (Hyper-holy people may not realize there are actually liturgical seasons in the Church; the Season of Advent, the Christmas season, and so on. Therefore the "Season's Greetings" thing kind of works out, huh. Not a question.)

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Oh yes Virginia, there really are cards out there that may simply depict birds on a snow laden branch that read, "Happy Holidays", or "Season's Greetings". These can be just as nice for older folks who enjoy watching re-runs of Lawrence Welk, as well as anyone without taste. Nevertheless, there are some goyim who have the audacity to complain that their friends or acquaintances did not send them a religious card inscribed with the words, "Merry Christmas". Imagine the ingratitude!

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Boorish people such as these are fortunate to get any season's greeting at all.

The polite tradition of Christmas card greetings.

Part One: Who to send to, what to send, and what to write.

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It is appropriate to send cards to those we love, friends and relatives; as well as acquaintances we are fond of, business associates, and so on.

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Of course one must be sensitive to the recipient's taste. Now if you are the type who likes to send humorous cards or say something snappy in a serious card, there are some rules to follow. For example, with acquaintances, it is always good advice that if you can't think of anything funny to write, buy a funny card. I love funny cards, but not everyone may appreciate our sense of humor. Especially if one is sending to relatives.

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I speak from experience. Once I sent my late father a birthday card with a vintage photo of a 1950's era family on the cover and the caption read, "The Nelson's outside to view the full moon." The family was shown admiring a huge butt sticking out of the ground. When you opened the card it read, "Happy birthday!" I was sure dad would think it was funny, not simply because our surname was used, but because of the charming colloquialisms he enjoyed using when he was cross with me, or simply exasperated... Oh how I loved the way he would shout, "Your ass sucks buttermilk" or "You talk like you have a paper ass" after I said something he thought was stupid. That guy could really turn a phrase. Unfortunately he didn't make that connection, and as usual, he mistook my attempt at humor for sarcasm and asked my sister, "What the hell was that bastard trying to prove with that piece of s--t?"

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That said, cards for relatives should probably either be of the religious type or traditional images of Christmas houses magically lit in some snowy countryside - you know, of the Hallmark variety - with lovely sentiments composed by someone who probably writes personal horoscopes for a fashion magazine on the side. But read it carefully before selecting it, since the lovely sentiments can be taken the wrong way too. Case in point...

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Once I gave my mom a beautiful Hallmark card with script describing a wonderful mother and son relationship. She read it, turned it over to check the price, and looked at me and said, "What kind of dig is this?" So sometimes just a really pretty card with a simple signature in your very best handwriting is best for close relatives: "Love, your son, or your brother, or your sister, and then your proper name - no last names though". I found that usually worked out for the best.

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Look for more Christmas tips in the days leading up to the holidays.

Holiday etiquette.

'Tis the season for parties and visiting relatives.

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Now most of you are probably familiar with the sage advice: "If you can't say anything bitchy, don't say anything at all."

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No, no, no, Amy Winehouse. It is Christmas for crying out loud. No - this is what you need to remember: "If you can't say anything funny, don't say anything at all."

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Otherwise you may be invited back. (I know, this makes no sense.)