St. Angela of Foligno and Mercy

"When you come across flatterers, men or women, who tell you: "Brother, your words have converted me to penance," do not pay any attention to them but rather turn to the Creator and thank him for this blessing. There are many preachers of falsehoods whose preaching is full of greed, and out of greed they preach for honors, money, and fame." - St. Angela

Remember that Christ endured much weariness in his journeys, visitations, and disgrace. - Angela of Foligno, Chapter X

Our Lord once reprimanded St. Angela for criticizing a priest - yet we have her quote calling out 'greedy' preachers.  Angela is a penitent saint who was quite hard on herself - and at times, hard on others, a fault many beginners fall into - but divine mercy soften her heart towards others - in and through prayer.  Despite her penance and incessant prayer, she devoted her time to caring for the poor and sick - 'taking care of widows and orphans' rather than being a busybody.

One author suggested her chief sin was just that - being a busybody or 'gossip'.  Perhaps.  If so she'd be an excellent example for someone like me to imitate - spending so much time online as I do.  Did I ever mention I'm embarrassed to admit to anyone that I have a blog?  I also try to immediately change the conversation when someone brings it up.  I'm ashamed of it - which is why I've subtitled it - 'the last days ...'

That said - I always thought Angela's great sin, which she had difficulty confessing, was more to do with sins of the flesh.  She railed so against the world after her conversion, that it seems to me she was guilty of something much more shameful than gossip.  Allowing my imagination to wander, it seemed reasonable to think she may have had an abortion or procured one.  She may have been promiscuous - and may have conceived?  I'm only speculating because I grew up in an Italian neighborhood and knew that stuff happened - and of course there was a woman - a strega - who performed abortions.  The nature of our sins will not be revealed until the Last Judgement, and such speculation may be useful only for those who have sinned in such a way that someone like an Angela is indeed a light of hope, an invitation to seek God's mercy in and through the sacrament of penance.  But I digress.

Angela finally made a good confession and no longer hid whatever sin which occasioned so much shame - and her way of penitence commenced, with many graces along the way.  What is significant about her is her initial 'imperfect contrition' - at the beginning of her conversion.  How many have speculated today, in response to the Holy Year of Mercy, that 'imperfect contrition' is not enough to receive mercy in sacramental confession - or that it is somehow deficient?  Yet the example of the Blessed Angela refutes that notion - in so far as her contrition was perfected in and through the very reception of the sacrament.

How did St. Angela advance - what was her route, her means to obtain such grace?  Prayer.  Incessant prayer:

"No one can be saved without divine light. Divine light causes us to begin and to make progress, and it leads us to the summit of perfection. Therefore if you want to begin and to receive this divine light, pray. If you have begun to make progress, pray. And if you have reached the summit of perfection, and want to be super-illumined so as to remain in that state, pray. If you want faith, pray. If you want hope, pray. If you want charity, pray. If you want poverty, pray. If you want obedience, pray. If you want chastity, pray. If you want humility, pray. If you want meekness, pray. If you want fortitude, pray. If you want any virtue, pray." ( from Voices of the Saints, Bert Ghezzi )

The mystery of light...

Some quotes from Benedict XVI on the Saint Pope Francis later canonized:

"We will now consider only some "steps" of the rich spiritual path of our blessed. The first, in reality, is an introduction: "It was the knowledge of sin," as she specifies, "following which the soul has great fear of being damned; in this step she wept bitterly" ("Il Libro della beata Angela da Foligno," p. 39).

This "fear" of hell responds to the type of faith that Angela had at the time of her "conversion"; a faith still poor in charity, namely, of love of God.

Repentance, fear of hell, and penance opened up to Angela the prospect of the sorrowful "way of the cross" that, from the eighth to the 15th step, would then lead her on the "way of love."

The friar confessor recounts: "The faithful one now said to me: I had this divine revelation: 'After the things that you have written, now write that whoever wants to preserve grace must not take the eyes of his soul off the Cross, whether in joy or in sadness, which I grant him and permit'" (Ibid., p. 143).

However, in this phase Angela still "does not feel love"; she affirms: "The soul feels shame and bitterness and does not yet experience love, but sorrow" (Ibid., p. 39), and is dissatisfied."

After this "initial stage", there were great trials and tribulations for Angela: occasions for further "purifications". Ones conversion experience does not justify the feeling that one is one of the "elect". For Blessed Angela it was only the first step on a long and arduous journey as she set her sights firmly on Christ on the Crucifix. The becoming a tertiary Franciscan was only a stage in the transition. More was required. Total commitment and a life of prayer. Until she was rewarded by an act of grace, undeserved and arising out of Love. The Pope stressed the importance of: penance, humility and tribulations. Especially in an age where there is a danger of living as if God did not exist. Stasis is not and never an option.

The Pope went on to say:

"In the third Instruction the blessed insists on this contemplation and affirms:

"The more perfectly and purely we see, the more perfectly and purely we love. [...] That is why the more we see the God and man Jesus Christ, the more we are transformed in him through love. [...] What I have said of love. [...] I say also of sorrow: The more the soul contemplates the ineffable sorrow of the God and man Jesus Christ, the more it sorrows and is transformed in sorrow" (Ibid., p. 190-191).

To be immersed, to be transformed in love and in the sufferings of Christ crucified, to be identified with him. Angela's conversion, begun with that confession of 1285, came to maturity only when God's forgiveness appeared to her soul as the free gift of love of the Father, source of love:

"There is no one who can give excuses," she affirms, "because each one can love God, ad He does not ask the soul other than that He wills it good, because He loves it and is its love" (ibid., p. 76). - Source

I first read Blessed Angela's writings early on in my conversion - it was a great consolation and as helpful to my spiritual life as that of St. Teresa's Way of Perfection and Autobiography.

In some places St. Angela's feast is celebrated on 4 January, in the United States 7 January is her memorial ...  Either way - she is an Epiphany, Christmas saint - devoted to the Sacred Humanity of Christ, and a good patron for the Holy Year.

The Pope Speaks: On Angela of Foligno

My favorite female mystic...
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Aside from Teresa and Therese of course - oh, and Margaret of Cortona and Catherine of Genoa too.  The Holy Father spoke about the Blessed Angela at the Wednesday audience yesterday.  Angela was a laywoman - and a Franciscan penitent.
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Wednesday audience:
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Continuing his series of teachings on holy women in the Church’s history, the Pope turned to the 13th-century mystic, Blessed Angela of Foligno in his weekly general audience.
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Blessed Angela’s life has much to teach people today, many of whom are “living as if God did not exist,” the Pope said.
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The Holy Father quoted Blessed Angela's words: “However much more you pray, ever more greatly will you be illuminated; however much more you are illuminated, so much more profoundly and intensely will you see the Supreme Good, the supremely good Being; how much more profoundly and intensely you see it, much more will you love it ... Successively you will arrive to the fullness of light, because you will understand not being able to comprehend." - CNA
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Me and Angela.
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In the monastery (novitiate) I was forbidden to read any female mystic - with the exception of Angela of Foligno.  The novice master wanted to detach me from any dependence I may have developed upon female mystical writers, along with accounts of private revelations.  The prohibition included Carmelite spirituality/mysticism.  Father was wisely seeking to ground me according to Cistercian spirituality - although  female Cistercian mystics were likewise prohibited.  After I left the monastery, Father explained to me he believed my friendship with a Carmelite prioress was unhealthy and that the type of piety she was feeding me was unsuitable for a monk, not to mention how inappropriate it was for a prioress of another community to interfere in a novice's formation.  It turned out he was quite right, and I'm grateful for the good formation Father gave me. 
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I'm not sure why Blessed Angela became the exception to his rule - although I think her treatise was probably deemed  'recreational' reading for me at the time.
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Art:  Angela of Foligno in ecstasy.

Blessed Angela of Foligno

Franciscan tertiary and penitent.

One of the best things about the article in the Catholic Spirit regarding blogs and sins against the 8th Commandment, was the fact that they mentioned Blessed Angela of Foligno.

The book, "Saints Behaving Badly" may have been their source for details of her life. The writer, Thomas Craughwell does an excellent job presenting various saints who were sinners - these are my favorite kinds of saints. It gives us all hope, knowing that "Saints are sinners who keep trying."

Before Craughwell's book, and the focus in the Spirit's piece concerning Angela as a gossip, I had never heard of that before as being one of her chief faults. Although in reading her book, "The Divine Consolations" I do recall a moment she relates how after a certain homily she was highly critical of a priest, for which the Holy Spirit chastised her for that sin of the tongue. (I cannot find the passage at present however.)

That anecdote always stayed with me though - and I know I have sinned in like manner over the years. However Angela's life of sin, prior to her conversion involved much more than gossip. She was very vain, self indulgent, and of course a sensualist, or hedonist. There was a mysterious sin she could not bring herself to confess, while continuing to receive the sacraments. Most speculate she had an affair, while I wonder, having grown up in an Italian neighborhood, which had a local 'strega' or witch who performed abortions, maybe Bl. Angela had committed a sin related to that? (After all, she had a few children already - who subsequently died, along with her husband and mother, one after another in quick succession. That was during her conversion process that the Lord took her family away.) We will never know, since she and her confessor, as well as the Holy Spirit has never revealed to us what the sin was. Rightly so, since it is none of our business.

Regardless, Angela considered her sins so grave she did "penance as long and as hard as life itself". She lived in poverty after having given away her great wealth, performing her penance publicly whenever she could, until her confessor inclined her to greater discretion. She also was elevated to great mysticism and devotion - hence the only book we have of her, "The Divine Consolations of the Blessed Angela of Foligno". What we know of her life is more or less contained in this volume. I esteem it next to the works of St. John and St. Teresa, and have read and re-read it for a couple of decades now. I have three volumes of the same book, one in Italian, and two different versions in English. I'll have to go back and find where her chief fault was gossiping.

Thanks to the Catholic Spirit for calling attention to both the Blessed Angela, and the vice of gossip and detraction. The article will certainly help me to be a better man and writer - I hope.

St. Angela of Foligno

"Through temporal poverty the soul will find eternal riches; 

through contempt and shame it will obtain supreme honor 

and very great glory; 

through a little penance, made with pain and sorrow, 

it will possess with infinite sweetness and consolation 

of the Supreme God, God eternal" - St. Angela

St. Angela died on January 4 but her feast day is January 7.

I've written much about her, as have others, and of course Pope Benedict XVI spoke extensively about her during his weekly catechesis in 2010.

In my opinion, St. Angela remains an excellent, premiere example for penitents - not for converts who write and reference their conversion over and over, but penitents.  Conversion may be marked by an experience - even great mystical experience, but it is an ongoing process.  Great mystical fireworks do not make a saint nor even a good Christian.  The many stages and 'steps' of conversion Angela wrote about demonstrate the difficulties found in following the narrow way of Christ crucified, which is in her words, a "penance as long and as hard as life itself".

All of her family were taken from her - husband, sons, each died in succession.   Talk about sorrow and loneliness.  The long loneliness... widowed.  Eventually,she lived with a companion, and then later others joined her - though she was a Franciscan tertiary, she remained a single, laywoman - celibate, chaste and alone.  What was her strength?  What was her prayer?  The one Book of Life, Jesus Christ and him crucified...  Did she cry out publicly that she was tempted and lonely and suffering?  Hardly.  If she cried out publicly about anything, she would do so only to proclaim her sins, her hypocrisy, imploring those who knew her not to be deceived by her.

Some quotes from Benedict XVI on the Saint:

"We will now consider only some "steps" of the rich spiritual path of our blessed. The first, in reality, is an introduction: "It was the knowledge of sin," as she specifies, "following which the soul has great fear of being damned; in this step she wept bitterly" ("Il Libro della beata Angela da Foligno," p. 39).

This "fear" of hell responds to the type of faith that Angela had at the time of her "conversion"; a faith still poor in charity, namely, of love of God.

Repentance, fear of hell, and penance opened up to Angela the prospect of the sorrowful "way of the cross" that, from the eighth to the 15th step, would then lead her on the "way of love."

The friar confessor recounts: "The faithful one now said to me: I had this divine revelation: 'After the things that you have written, now write that whoever wants to preserve grace must not take the eyes of his soul off the Cross, whether in joy or in sadness, which I grant him and permit'" (Ibid., p. 143).
However, in this phase Angela still "does not feel love"; she affirms: "The soul feels shame and bitterness and does not yet experience love, but sorrow" (Ibid., p. 39), and is dissatisfied."

After this "initial stage", there were great trials and tribulations for Angela: occasions for further "purifications". One conversion experience does not justify the feeling that one is one of the "elect". For Blessed Angela it was only the first step on a long and arduous journey as she set her sights firmly on Christ on the Crucifix. The becoming a tertiary Franciscan was only a stage in the transition. More was required. Total commitment and a life of prayer. Until she was rewarded by an act of grace, undeserved and arising out of Love. The Pope stressed the importance of: penance, humility and tribulations. Especially in an age where there is a danger of living as if God did not exist. Stasis is not and never an option.

The Pope went on to say:

"In the third Instruction the blessed insists on this contemplation and affirms:

"The more perfectly and purely we see, the more perfectly and purely we love. [...] That is why the more we see the God and man Jesus Christ, the more we are transformed in him through love. [...] What I have said of love. [...] I say also of sorrow: The more the soul contemplates the ineffable sorrow of the God and man Jesus Christ, the more it sorrows and is transformed in sorrow" (Ibid., p. 190-191).

To be immersed, to be transformed in love and in the sufferings of Christ crucified, to be identified with him. Angela's conversion, begun with that confession of 1285, came to maturity only when God's forgiveness appeared to her soul as the free gift of love of the Father, source of love:

"There is no one who can give excuses," she affirms, "because each one can love God, ad He does not ask the soul other than that He wills it good, because He loves it and is its love" (ibid., p. 76). - Source

Blessed Angela of Foligno, Penitent

Pope Benedict XVI on:

"Today I would like to speak to you about Blessed Angela of Foligno, a great medieval mystic who lived in the 13th century. Usually, one is fascinated by the heights of the experience of union with God that she attained, but perhaps too little consideration is given to the first steps, her conversion, and the long path that led her from the beginning -- the "great fear of hell" -- to the goal: total union with the Trinity.

The first part of Angela's life is certainly not that of a fervent disciple of the Lord. Born around 1248 in a well-off family, she remained orphaned of her father and was educated by her mother in a rather superficial way. She was soon introduced to the worldly environments of the city of Foligno, where she met a man, whom she married at 20 and with whom she had children. Her life was carefree, so much so that she looked down on the so-called "penitents" -- very widespread at that time -- those, namely, who to follow Christ would sell their goods and live a life of prayer, fasting, the service of the Church and charity.

Some events, such as the violent earthquake of 1279, a hurricane, the age-old war against Perugia, and their harsh consequences affected Angela's life, who became progressively aware of her sins, until she took a decisive step: She invoked St. Francis, who appeared to her in a vision, to ask him for advice in view of undertaking a good general Confession. In 1285, Angela went to confession to a friar in San Feliciano. Three years later, her path of conversion took another turn: the dissolution of her familial ties. Within a few months, the death of her mother was followed by the deaths of her husband and all her children. She then sold all her goods, and in 1291, joined the Third Order of St. Francis. She died at Foligno on Jan. 4, 1309." - Finish here.

If you ever wonder what you can do in the 'New Evangelization' - try penitence - it worked for Angela.

I like this: Stop making pronouncements in an "academic vacuum".

The Pope to theologians.

The Crux article I just read said, "Francis, whose near-disdain for theologians is well-known ..."

See - that's me too.  A priest friend once told me he was impressed by how many young people are really studying the faith, but said many seem to feel the theology degree is their ticket to heaven, yet very few understand ordinary life and simplicity, while even more seem to be wanting in prayer and devotion.  Another way of saying it is they lack humility and charity.  They know doctrine and dogma but neglect the interior life.

I remember reading someplace how a superior once counselled Fr. Hardon that his academic genius would make him a sort of tyrant rather than a pastor of souls - in so far as he lacked charity.  I wish I could find the exact wording of the anecdote as told by Fr. Hardon - it would help explain what I've said above.

That said - I very much like this article concerning what the Pope had to say to theologians:

Pope Francis urged the Catholic Church’s top theologians on Friday to listen to what ordinary Catholics have to say and pay attention to the “signs of the times,” rather than just making pronouncements in an academic vacuum. 

Francis, whose near-disdain for theologians is well-known, told the International Theological Commission that they must “humbly listen” to what God tells the church by understanding Scripture but also by taking into account how ordinary Catholics live out their faith. 

“Together with all Christians, theologians must open their eyes and ears to the signs of the times,” Francis said.

Francis has [...] spoken frequently about what he calls “theology on its knees” — a more merciful type of theology that isn’t focused so much on rules and regulations but meeting the faithful where they are to help them reach holiness. - Source

Some thoughts from St.Angela of Foligno ...

"I do repeat, therefore, that all the perfection of man and the knowledge of God and of himself that is to say, the understanding of the immensity of God in all perfection and goodness, and of his own nothingness this manifestation and knowledge of God and of himself is only granted unto the lawful sons of God, who do pray truly, and fervently do read and meditate in the Book of Life. Unto these true sons doth God the Father open and present the Book of Life, which is the life of Jesus Christ, God and Man, within which Book they will find all things that they can possibly desire to know." - Blessed Angela of Foligno

"When you come across flatterers, men or women, who tell you: 'Brother, your words have converted me to penance," do not pay any attention to them but rather turn to the Creator and thank him for this blessing. There are many preachers of falsehoods whose preaching is full of greed, and out of greed they preach for honors, money, and fame.'" -Blessed Angela of Foligno

“However much more you pray, ever more greatly will you be illuminated; however much more you are illuminated, so much more profoundly and intensely will you see the Supreme Good, the supremely good Being; how much more profoundly and intensely you see it, much more will you love it ... Successively you will arrive to the fullness of light, because you will understand not being able to comprehend." - Blessed Angela

The Blessed Angela of Foligno

Penitent.
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Today is generally considered the feast day of Blessed Angela of Foligno, a penitent from a town nearby Assisi.  She and St. Margaret of Cortona are two of my fovorite women mystics, along with Catherine of Genoa - who remained unaffiliated with any order.  These women appeal to me because of their penitence and prayer and because they were seculars.  It is extremely important that lay people have before them models of perfection who were not religious, as John Paul II emphasized by promoting the beatification and canonization of so many laity from every walk of life.
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The Blessed Angela was married and had a family and by her own admission lived a rather vain and frivolous life.  At one point she committed a sin so shameful to her that she avoided confessing it.  We do not know what the sin was, but I have speculated it could have been the sin of abortion - just a hunch however.  Others like to portray her as a gossip - but that is neither here nor there in my opinion.  Eventually she appealed in prayer to St. Francis who won for her the grace of conversion and to do penance, which she writes about in her Book of Divine Consolations.  She begins; "As I walked by the way of penitence, I did take eighteen spiritual steps before I came to know the imperfections of my life."  Thus the saint describes the process of her conversion.
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Her conversion did not happen overnight of course, it was indeed a process.  There was no "born again" mentality existent in those days.  People today imagine they are propelled into the state of perfection simply by a return to the Church or the sacraments, yet one's conversion is ordinarily a long, at times arduous process.  Angela speaks of a penance as "long and as hard as life itself".  One overcomes a fault or sin, only to discover another more spiritual sin, hence the need for ongoing purgation and purification, willingly or unwillingly undergone - in this life or in the next.  Angela did it in this life.  If you can, try to read her writings - not so much of what people write about her - go to the source.
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If nothing else, it is important to remember one thing, conversion and penance is really a life-long process.  Consider that Teresa of Avila lived for 20 years as a nun before she finally committed herself to a serious life of prayer.  Today we tend to credit ourselves with what we know about the Church and the spiritual life, or pride ourselves upon our works or our commitment to social justice, or the promotion of the liturgy, or theology, or even mystical novelties - when in fact we neglect to reform our lives and actually believe in the Gospel.  It takes time to do the will of God - which is first and foremost our sanctification.
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I also like the following from Bl. Angela:
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'By 1298, Angela had become a "mother" to a group of Franciscans trying to reform the order that Francis had founded 90 years earlier; she was on the reformers' side, but always tried to keep them from going to extremes. Here she supports those who questioned whether their goal of absolute poverty should allow them to possess even books:'

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"When you come across flatterers, men or women, who tell you: "Brother, your words have converted me to penance," do not pay any attention to them but rather turn to the Creator and thank him for this blessing. There are many preachers of falsehoods whose preaching is full of greed, and out of greed they preach for honors, money, and fame."


 
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Penance, penance, penance.

The Holy Father is calling for it...
 ... as are the Bishops of England and Wales. 
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Many bloggers are mentioning it in their posts as well.  Although quite a few people today simply do not understand what it means or entails, especially since the only penance most of us know is the occasional Hail Mary and Our Father we get in confession - if we go at all.  Then there is the Lenten observance of course, giving up candy and stuff like that.  With the increasing awareness of social justice issues since the 1960's the progressive notion of penance has been activist oriented, in it's simplest expression; alms-giving and or volunteerism.  Such things are valid of course, but they are good works and not always a matter of self-denial - modern folks normally maintain a certain comfort level in the performance of good deeds and penance - We don't want it to cost us anything.  Kind of like not eating meat on Friday yet having a sumptuous lobster dinner instead.
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I've actually received comments and emails asking me what penance is, or what it means to perform penance.  Terry at Idle Speculations has a couple of superb posts on the subject, beginning with Pope Benedict's recent call to penance:
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"...Penance is a grace.
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There is a tendency in exegesis that says: Jesus in Galilee had announced a grace without condition, absolutely unconditional, therefore also without penance, grace as such, without human preconditions.
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But this is a false interpretation of grace.
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Penance is grace; it is a grace that we recognize our sin, it is a grace that we know we need renewal, change, a transformation of our being.
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Penance, being able to do penance, is the gift of grace. And I must say that we Christians, even in recent times, have often avoided the word penance, it has seemed too harsh to us.
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Now, under the attacks of the world that speak to us of our sins, we see that being able to do penance is grace. And we see that it is necessary to do penance, that is, to recognize what is wrong in our life, open ourselves to forgiveness, prepare ourselves for forgiveness, allow ourselves to be transformed.
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The suffering of penance, of purification, of transformation, this suffering is grace, because it is renewal, it is the work of divine mercy". - Holy Father's Homily, Idle Speculations

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The idea that penance is a grace recalls for me the conversion of the Blessed Angela of Foligno, who actually prayed for the grace to do penance.  Her first Book in the Divine Consolations, "Of the Conversion and Penitence of the Blessed Angela of Foligno" sheds much light on the subject. 
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Sorrow for sin.
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The call to penance began with the ministry of John the Baptist and was mandated by Christ:  "Thus it is written that the Messiah must suffer and rise from the dead on the third day.  In his name, penance for the remission of sins is to be preached to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem" [Luke 24:46-47]  Yet modern preaching, especially since the council has pretty much avoided the subject.  Even in religious life, the concept of corporal penance had almost disappeared.  The Lord's admonition, "It is mercy I desire, not sacrifice" may have been taken to the extreme in our days, yet the saints and the popes have taught that penance is a grace from the Divine Mercy.  Again Terry at Idle Speculation cites papal teaching regarding the call to penance.  First John XXIII:
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"1.Doing penance for one's sins is a first step towards obtaining forgiveness and winning eternal salvation. That is the clear and explicit teaching of Christ, and no one can fail to see how justified and how right the Catholic Church has always been in constantly insisting on this. She is the spokesman for her divine Redeemer. No individual Christian can grow in perfection, nor can Christianity gain in vigor, except it be on the basis of penance ...
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5. Now we have only to open the sacred books of the Old and New Testament to be assured of one thing: it was never God's will to reveal Himself in any solemn encounter with mortal men—to speak in human terms—without first calling them to prayer and penance. Indeed, Moses refused to give the Hebrews the tables of the Law until they had expiated their crime of idolatry and ingratitude.
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Speaking of the member of the Church, the stainless Bride of Christ, the Holy Father continues:  16. But of her children there are some who nevertheless forget the greatness of their calling and election. They mar their God-given beauty, and fail to mirror in themselves the image of Jesus Christ. We cannot find it in Us to threaten or abuse them, for the love We bear them is a father's love. Instead We appeal to them in the words of the Council of Trent—the best restorative for Catholic discipline." - PAENITENTIAM AGERE, Idle Speculations

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From John Paul II, Reconciliation and Penance:

"... Penance also means changing one's life in harmony with the change of heart, and in this sense doing penance is completed by bringing forth fruits worthy of penance. It is one's whole existence that becomes penitential, that is to say, directed toward a continuous striving for what is better. But doing penance is something authentic and effective only if it is translated into deeds and acts of penance.
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In this sense penance means, in the Christian theological and spiritual vocabulary, asceticism, that is to say, the concrete daily effort of a person, supported by God's lose his or her own life for Christ as the only means of gaining it; an effort to put off the old man and put on the new; an effort to overcome in oneself what is of the flesh in order that what is spiritual may prevail; a continual effort to rise from the things of here below to the things of above, where Christ is."  - John Paul II taken from Idle Speculations

But how do we do penance?
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Fasting, prayer, alms giving - giving up candy, saying a hail Mary or two, and giving a homeless guy a dollar once in awhile.  Hey, but that's how we do Lent.  Okay - so follow the teaching of St. Benedict and adjust your life to "have the character of a lent" - works for monks, huh?  Or join the Third Order of Penance of St. Francis - the essence of the Franciscan vocation has always been penance...
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Truth is, modern people just do not know how to do penance, unless of course it is imposed upon us through the deprivation occasioned by calamity, disaster, and war.  Yet voluntary penance normally doesn't occur to us, despite the fact Our Lady herself came to places like Lourdes and Fatima calling us to repentance and the amendment of our lives.    Thankfully, the Holy Father is echoing that same call today.  In fact - the message of Fatima just may be an excellent resource for contemporary penitents to find some practical direction on the subject.
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In the first apparition preparing the children for the appearances of Our Lady, the angel instructed the seers;  "Pray!  Pray a great deal!"  And later, "Offer up prayers and sacrifices to the Most High."  Explaining,  "Make everything you do a sacrifice..."
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What does that mean?  Sr. Lucia explained it thus:  "I feel it would be good to impress upon people... the need for prayer and sacrifice - especially that one needs to avoid sin..."  Indeed, the avoidance of sin as a penance!
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In 1943, Sr. Lucia wrote;  "God wishes that it be made clear to souls that the true penance he now wants and requires consists first of all of the sacrifice each one must make to fulfill his own religious duties and daily duties."
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Later, in 1946 Sr. Lucia reaffirmed; "The penance which God now asks is this: the sacrifice which each person has to impose upon himself in order to lead a life of justice in the observance of his law.  He wishes this way to be made known to souls with clearness, for many consider the word 'penance' to be great austerities, and not feeling the strength or generosity for such, become discouraged and remain in a life of tepidity and sin." - Sr. Lucia of Fatima; Fatima Today - The Third Millennium, Fr. Robert J. Fox
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I hope all of the Bishops around the world unite with the Holy Father in calling us to do penance in reparation for sin.  Just think, if Our Lady's call at Fatima would have been heeded, we would never have found ourselves in this crises.  Think about it - how the failure to observe the duties of our state in life have led to such disaster.
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As for me, I'm praying for the grace to do penance.

Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity

Today would be her memorial if it wasn't a Sunday.

She died on the 9th of November 1906, the feast of the Dedication of the Lateran Basilica.  I always get her feast day mixed up with that, because the readings for the Dedication of a Church coincide nicely with the spirituality of Bl. Elizabeth, who understood herself - her soul - to be the Temple of God, as St. Paul taught, especially concerning the indwelling of the Blessed Trinity in the soul of the baptized, and so on.

Every November I think much about Bl. Elizabeth and always forget her feast day - thinking it is the 5th or 6th because she died in 1906, or mixing it up with the 7th, 8th, or 9th.  Now that I'm older I think - what if this is early onset of ... then I realize I've always done that.

My devotion to Elizabeth is rather detached in so far as I have no desire to emulate her life or follow the minutia of her daily activities, as a young girl or as a nun.  Her mission is quite unique I think.  She strikes me as a very mature spirit for both men and women - the attraction is neither her religious life nor her secular life of anticipation for the monastery.  Rather it is her understanding and experience of herself as the tabernacle of the Holy Trinity and her vocation as well as identity as 'the praise of his glory'.

Her spirit penetrated the deepest mystery of the Christian existence, the Christian vocation - it seems to me.  She opens the treasury of Catholic prayer and devotion in a very simple and direct way - in that she is perfectly Carmelite of course - St. Teresa and St. John, Therese and Lawrence of the Resurrection all were gifted with that simplicity.  Elizabeth seems to me to unlock the mysteries these saints lived and practiced and taught - for the most ordinary person - the most spiritually inexperienced.  Likewise, she seems to have distilled the doctrines of Catherine of Siena, Angela of Foligno, Tauler - as well as other early mystics, into practical, understandable terms.  I think her greatest gift was the grace to grasp and assimilate the mysticism of St. Paul and to translate his teaching for the most ordinary person to appreciate and grasp.  Her way of prayer is in effect the most 'common mystic prayer' there is - I think.

No need to number the steps of a stairway of perfection.  No need to calculate the rungs on the ladder, or distract oneself with the stages of one's prayer - one simply plunges into the depths of one's soul, and swims as it were, in the light of God's merciful love, allowing Him to draw you deeper and deeper into the abyss of his Immensity.  As Elizabeth might say - allow yourself to be fascinated by His light which elevates the soul - allow yourself to be drawn by His mystery - even in and through the darkest moments - travelling without moving into the deepest reaches of the unreachable until, as Elizabeth prayed 'until I depart to contemplate in your light the abyss of your greatness.'

Janua Coeli - Gate of Heaven

For me it is an image of a soul in Our Lady

-faintly - at the center is a light

reminding me of the Indwelling of the Holy Trinity.

We can have our Heaven - or at least begin it - here on earth.

Go to confession and receive Holy Communion.  Stay awhile after communion and Our Lord will teach you how to pray this prayer of recollection.  You will see cares and attachments fly away like the tiles from a rocket that is launched amidst great fire and emotion - traveling deeper and deeper into the silence and solitude of the soul, which expands like the universe - and soon - in God's time - you will see that spring-like-crystal, that light in the center, which draws you, fascinates and suspends you in love, peace, and joy ...

Bl. Elizabeth explains it better than I can: 

 "Always love prayer and when I say prayer, I don't mean so much imposing on yourself a lot of vocal prayers to be recited every day, as the elevation of the soul toward God through all things that establishes us in a kind of continual communion with  the Holy Trinity by quite simply doing everything in their presence."

I share this with you because if God has been so good and merciful to give me this prayer - he will do it for you.  It is very easy for people who are much better than I am.  I have deluded myself for years and thought I was doing just fine - but I look back and see so many sins, so much hypocrisy - and yet without prayer, I could never have recognized any of that.  I'm not pretending when I say that.

"A praise of glory is a soul that lives in God, that loves him with a pure and disinterested love, without seeking itself in the sweetness of this love, that loves him beyond all his gifts." - Bl. Elizabeth

Look at that!  You not only find out about prayer - but you get a better understanding of disinterested friendship as well.  Prayer is a sort of self-emptying as well, a process of detachment - again like the rocket - the tiles fall away, the booster falls away and we enter the immensity of space - our soul, and God is present at it's deepest center.

Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity pray for us that we may become the praise of his glory, with you and Our Lady 'Janua Coeli' - for all eternity!

Elizabeth with her statue of 

Janua Coeli - she carried it with her

everywhere.  It depicts The Immaculate Conception

as she identified herself at Lourdes.

The Immaculate Conception - Gate of Heaven.

Death before mortal sin.

Center, Mother of Maria Goretti

Another interesting discussion on Facebook.

A friend posted a commentary on something a spiritual-director woman online posted about preferring that one's child die rather than commit a mortal sin.  (She did a poll.)  The comments were 'against it' or rather censorious, to put it mildly.  I love little exchanges like that.  There are so many examples of the saints, even in the Old Testament, who would rather die than sin against God.  The most classic example is from the Book of Maccabees about the mother and her seven sons she urged to die rather than eat pork. One by one they were tortured and killed, rather than offend God.

At first I responded with my idea of where people get these ideas from - the examples of the saints.  I wrote the following comment to be a bit tongue in cheek, making light of their 'piety':

Francis de Sales quotes Bl. Blanche of Castile, the mother of St. Louis King of France: "My son, I would sooner see you die than guilty of a mortal sin." Similarly, St. Rita prayed that her sons wouldn't take revenge upon her husband's murderers, and they died before they could do anything. These examples are meant to instill great fear of God - in a good way, that is, their devotion be so great, their greatest fear would be offending God. Traditional piety has always been full of drama of course. Consider that the modesty and chastity of St. Aloysius moved him to avoid looking at his mother. Pious folks seem to want to repeat these examples and are very good at trying to scare the hell out of apostates, heretics and libertines. Although it seems to me the notion of mortal sin is pretty much lost on us these days - this strategy doesn't work especially well.  

It's good to remember that the children of the saints weren't always well treated or coddled, as we do today.  We try to shield children from all sorts of evils and send them to counsellors whenever tragedy strikes. Just imagine Margaret of Cortona's son, what he had to go through with her penitence and poverty, only to be sent to a monastery when he was old enough? Then of course all of Angela of Foligno's kids died and she was free to pursue the penitential life. Jane de Chantal walked over the body of her (adult) son who laid on the threshold in his attempt to keep her from founding a convent. There are so many examples of saints doing crazy stuff. LOL! Religious people are rather queer, haven't you noticed? - My comment  

I took my comment down, pretty much because contemporary people seem to regard this sort of 'heroic detachment' as mere hyperbole, and one is more or less forbidden to even suggest such a horrific example to others.  I was also ashamed that I made light of another person's piety.  The original objection on Facebook was that it somehow contradicted pro-life ideology.  To be sure that's beyond my competence - so I thought I better back off.

In another reply I had also cited Dominic Savio who at seven years of age vowed: "Death before sin!"  I noted I made the same promise when I was about Savio's age, but it didn't work for me.  I tried to make light of the whole thing, but it was wrong for me to play games like that.  Gratefully I suddenly remembered something St. John Paul II wrote regarding this very same issue - which confirmed my reluctance to add more to the conversation.

The Church proposes the example of numerous Saints who bore witness to and defended moral truth even to the point of enduring martyrdom, or who preferred death to a single mortal sin. In raising them to the honor of the altars, the Church has canonized their witness and declared the truth of their judgment, according to which the love of God entails the obligation to respect his commandments, even in the most dire of circumstances, and the refusal to betray those commandments, even for the sake of saving one’s own life. - Veritatis Splendor, 91

Of course, this leads one to consider the 'virgin martyrs', especially in modern times, with Maria Goretti at the lead.  Parents are loathe to consider such an end for their kids.  I'm thinking this must be the pivot of the argument.  It seems to turn the tables and becomes a pro-choice argument against pro-lifers?  I'm not sure, but I think I need to stay away from these online battles.

St Shmouni and her seven sons.

12 steps, 18 steps, how many steps are there in a conversion?

Courage

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I've never been through a 12 step program, although I'm familiar with the steps and the process. In a way, the steps seem to be a sort of conversion process away from alcohol or other addictions, although it should be noted that alcoholism is no longer considered a moral issue, but a disease. Like I said - I've never gone through it, so I can't speak to that - yet I would think the will must be involved some how. I've had friends and family who have been in treatment and so the only thing I can say for sure about it is that the steps are not worked out over night, nor are they limited to a treatment program, indeed, some people work it their entire lives, which may account for their identifying themselves as recovering.

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Conversion is like that. Many of us may have had dramatic experiences wherein we realized our sinfulness and turned to the mercy of God, but normally such epiphanies were simply the catalyst which turned us away from our self-delusion towards the truth. Hence we can perhaps date the moment of our conversion, but we know from experience it was only the beginning of the process - it doesn't happen over night. "The kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by storm" or something like that. Conversion is the work of a lifetime.

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Blessed Angela of Foligno begins her Book of Consolations with the 18 steps of her conversion - the figurative 18 steps she climbed in her conversion process. It didn't happen in a short time, and she certainly did not become perfect over night. In fact her first 12 steps were constant reminders of the Holy Spirit's "convincing concerning sin" in her soul. The blessed Angela suffered many tears and painful sufferings throughout these stages of her conversion. The only relief she found was the contemplation of Jesus and him crucified, which became the one 'book' from whence she found consolation, with the love necessary to do "penance, as long and as hard as life itself" as she so often phrased it.

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I mention this today since many of us can come to expect that we, as well as others, should be converted all at once and just be happy 'praise the Lord' Catholics the rest of our life - once forgiven, we go and sin no more, as Christ said to the woman caught in adultery. However, what isn't related in that Gospel story is the sacrifice and suffering it most likely took to avoid that sin - especially if she had been a prostitute - the cash flow stopped. (Which is why the testimony of the saints is so important, they fill in the details lacking from the Gospel if you will.)

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Anyway, after we covert, confess our sins and pray our penance and do as we please, we sometimes surprise ourselves when we fall into a sin we always had a particular weakness for. Likewise, we get ourselves all verklempft if we go through those dark arid spiritual passageways that make us cranky and mean - why do bad things happen to good people? Perhaps worst of all, we freak the moment if and when we discover we can be hypocrites too. You see, we are all sinners, and we cannot begin to fathom the depth of what that means without the Holy Spirit who searches the depths of our soul, even as he searches the depths of God - deep calling unto deep.

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The conversion of Angela, like that of Margaret of Cortona and all of the other penitents was long and arduous, lasting many years. They didn't become saints over night.

The memoir

I was thinking about the blog as a sort of memoir...

It occurred to me as I was reading another writer's account of his conversion.  Most of his writing is about that process.  I kind of know who the writer is and know a few sketchy things about his life.  Interestingly, when he writes about his past he makes a point of pointing out 'that he wasn't that bad' - in a Brittney Spears-I'm-not-that-innocent sort of way.  Of course he states that he was much better looking then than he is now - but as I said - I met him - or saw him back then, and I know that's not true.  What?

That sounds 'mean'?  It's not.  The reason I say it is because I've done exactly the same thing.  It's probably the same reason I don't like him very much - or when I'm sympathetic to his sufferings, I can sort of empathize with him.  I doubt very much that he is lying in some of the things he writes - but he has quite a high opinion of himself and rejoices in his conversion to such a degree he has the greatest compassion for himself and his moral failings.

Of course it's impossible to discuss someone else and their memoir without identifying them - but I must say that his writing helps me to see myself in a totally more realistic light.  My dislike of this particular writer helps me understand my own history a bit better - yet even more revealing - my attitude seems to reflect the attitude former friends may have formed about me.  The most famous criticism of my blogging - or at least the comment I can never forget, is when an anonymous commenter said, "Man - you have a lot of people fooled."  That was one of the most useful comments I ever read - and I think of it every time I want to level the same criticism against another.

Angela of Foligno and Margaret of Cortona knew these things about themselves.  I suspect they were often tempted to vain glory themselves - which is why they wanted to parade through town with fish and garbage hanging from their neck with a list of their sins.  Their confessors prevented them from doing that - precisely because it would give them some sort of satisfaction in so far as they some how 'justified' themselves as wretched sinners in and through public penance.  All of their accusers would see them thus and perhaps either take pity - or more perfectly - throw them out of town because they really were scum bags.

That sounds 'mean'?  It's not.  Because they were saints, they knew their wretchedness - and they feared vain rejoicing in spiritual narcissism and flattery.

Back to the memoir.

They're not all that accurate.  They are often tainted, colored, flowered over, or lustily embellished for drama.  Not always of course - but quite often - albeit rarely intentionally.  It is simply the way we reminisce.  Then our perception can be distorted by emotion or even wishful thinking.

An example.

I saw the real Santa Claus.  I was about four years old.  That Christmas Eve we came home from the bar down the street - the Christmas tree lights were on, reflected off the wall in the living room - I saw a shadow placing Christmas presents under the tree, my mother had to hold me back, frantically whispering, saying I couldn't go any further or I'd scare him - I tried to break loose and was convinced I could see him around the corner of the door.  When my mother said he disappeared, I ran into the room and all the presents were there.  I was convinced I saw him.  Until 3rd grade - when a mean old Lutheran teacher (married to a Lutheran minister) told me I was lying, grabbing my hair, pulling my head back and forth, until I would either admit I lied or stop insisting I hadn't.  I wouldn't give in - but I figured out that if I just shut up she'd leave me alone.  At recess, I told my friend who sat across from me that I really did see him.  "I did see him!  I did!"

See - I'm just like St. Bernadette.

And that's my point.  I wasn't just like St. Bernadette.  My classmate then asked me if I wanted to see his 'horsey'.*

What?

*I told him 'No!' - that 

would be a mortal sin.

Song for this post here.

The Penitent

The commemoration of Blessed Angela of Foligno, January 4th.

"She married young, had several sons, then, around 1288, all in her immediate household, husband, sons and mother, died. She was worldly, wealthy, vain, beautiful, even unfaithful to her husband, according to legend. She found herself unable to confess some of her sins, and, receiving communion, thus added sacrilege to these. Praying to St Francis that she find a confessor, she came upon her relative, the Franciscan, Brother Arnaldo. He would become her confessor, spiritual director, amanuensis. In modelling her life on St Francis she found herself before a crucifix, stripping herself of her clothing, vowing poverty and chastity. In 1291 she asked the Privilege of Poverty from the apostle Peter in Rome and sold the remainder of her possessions, giving the proceeds to the poor. She became a Franciscan tertiary and journeyed to Assisi, receiving first a vision of the Trinity in a chapel dedicated to the Trinity, then another in the Basilica of Assisi, from seeing stained glass of St Francis in Christ's bosom. Like Margery Kempe she started screaming and crying when this vision left and left her desolate. Brother Arnaldo was furious.

He thought she was inspired by the devil. He made her explain herself to him. A flood of visions. He struggled to write these down, in Italian, in Latin. She speaks of Christ as the God-man, stressing the paradox of Divinity and Humanity. Brother Arnaldo describes the stages of her spiritual journey, sometimes of God's presence and joy, sometimes of the deepest desolation and temptations of the devil." - A Circle of Angels

So, sinners, we should pray the Blessed Angela to obtain the grace of conversion for us, confident in God's mercy.

St. Mary of Egypt, penitent...

Hold the applause, please.

Today is the day I have been accustomed to commemorate St. Mary of Egypt, yet depending on where you are in the Catholic world, her feast is observed on the 5th Sunday of Easter, or April 1, 2, or 3.  It doesn't matter to me - I think of her today.

Mary of Egypt is a good patron for many modern day sinners like myself who have been given over to hedonistic excess at one time or another - looking for love in all the wrong places, and so on.  A prostitute, she went on pilgrimage to Jerusalem and made her services available on the way - sort of like adding an advertising app to her blog on which she promotes her conversion.  The lady just wanted to be loved, don't we all.  (Actually, she would often 'do it' for free, as she liked the sex.)

At the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Mary the Egyptian experienced a stunning conversion and fled into the desert to do penance.  She lived in solitude and silence, and chose not to keep a conversion diary, so we have little to go on as far as her life of penance goes.  Giving up her means of making a living and not cashing in on her conversion story proved costly - thus she went about the desert precincts naked, for decades, barely recognizable as woman or man, accepting the abundance of what little the desert had to offer... 

Approximately one year before her death, she recounted her life to St. Zosimas of Palestine who encountered her in the desert. When he unexpectedly met her in the desert, she was completely naked and almost unrecognizable as human. She asked Zosimas to toss her his mantle to cover herself with, and then she narrated her life's story to him, manifesting marvellous clairvoyance. She asked him to meet her at the banks of the Jordan on Holy Thursday of the following year, and bring her Holy Communion. When he fulfilled her wish, she crossed the river to get to him by walking on the surface of the water and received Holy Communion, telling him to meet her again in the desert the following Lent. The next year, Zosimas travelled to the same spot where he first met her, some twenty day's journey from his monastery, and found her lying there dead. According to an inscription written in the sand next to her head, she had died on the very night he had given her Communion and had been somehow miraculously transported to the place he found her, and her body preserved incorrupt. He buried her body with the assistance of a passing lion. On returning to the monastery he related her life story to the brethren, and it was preserved among them as oral tradition until it was written down by St. Sophronius. - Sorry, I took this from WIKI, although it is fairly accurate.

Conversions can be instantaneous, but they are ordinarily, only the beginning of a long process of purification.  Interestingly, when Our Lady instructed the penitent to go yonder across the Jordan into the desert, she said, "There you will find peace."  She never said happiness.  Today everyone seems to look for happiness and witnesses to their 'courage'.  Yet only true happiness can be had in heaven... at least that was what the Catholic Church taught when I was little.  As we once memorized from the Baltimore Catechism:

Question: Why did God make you?

Answer: God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in the next.

Today however, the prosperity gospel seems to have influenced American Catholics, who freely promote and sell their conversion stories.  Some, like Fr. Corapi, fail to understand that conversion is only the beginning of a long process... 'as long and as hard as life itself'.  (Angela of Foligno)

Of the great poverty of Christ...

Meditations from Blessed Angela of Foligno.

For the feast of St. Joseph, I would like to highlight the second degree Bl. Angela discusses...

The second degree of Christ's poverty was greater than the first - that is, that he deigned to be poor in all the temporal things of this world.  Christ desired to be poor in friends and kindred and in all familiarity with the great and powerful, and finally in all worldly friendship.  Wherefore did he not possess, nor desire to possess any friend whatsoever of his own, nor yet of his mother or his putative father, Joseph, or his disciples. 
 

For this reason they did not hesitate to kick him, strike him, and scourge him, and to speak hurtful words unto him.  And he deigned to be born of a poor and humble mother and to be brought up subject unto a poor carpenter, his putative father.  

He did likewise deprive himself of the love and familiar intercourse of kings and rulers, of priests and scribes, and of the love of friends and kindred - so that neither for his mother's sake, nor for any other person, would he leave undone aught the which could be pleasing unto his Almighty Father or according to his will.  Amen. 

 

Cardinal Mahony: Should we call down fire from heaven? Redux.

Sometimes I think we know not of what spirit  are...

Mahony has never been a hero for me, but in his 'disgrace', he has helped me understand the depths of my own disgrace.  Some time ago now, I did things in my life that were very wrong.  I'm a big sinner.

I returned to the Church and the sacraments, and received many graces - some extraordinary.

My soul, once cleaned and tidy, became besieged by temptations, more terrible than before my conversion.

I fell and got up - helped by the sacraments and prayer.

I continued to struggle, falling and rising.

Sometimes the struggle was so intense, I compromised my faith.

I lived faithful to the Church but didn't remain faithful to prayer, and though I continued to 'practice' my faith, go to Mass and frequent the sacraments, there was set aside in my heart a reserve, if you will. I wasn't growing in virtue or love of God and neighbor. I wasn't as vigilant about the occasion of sin, and I was more than tolerant of the sinful lifestyles of others.

When your secret is all found out...

Eventually, Our Lady grasped me - once again, she is Mother of Mercy and Refuge of Sinners you know - and little by little I continue to recover.

However, with every sin there is some chastisement.

Old friends fell away, some scoffed at me.  Enemies I had made pointed out my sins, my dissolute life, and my dishonesty. They called me a hypocrite.  I am.

Yet remarkably, all along I believed I was doing God's will. Especially after my last 'recovery' - yet people still called me out.  While deep down, I am fairly certain I expected to be received like the prodigal son - esteemed for 'coming to my senses'... embracing a faithful Catholic life.   

I thought to myself, "They mocked Christ. They rejected the woman caught in adultery.  And they call me out." I pondered the narratives of the Suffering Servant, finding some comfort, imagining I was 'meritoriously' sharing in Christ's sufferings. Not yet understanding that it was He who took on my sufferings - not I his. It was an almost impossible lesson to learn - then and now - since self-love is so blinding, so relentlessly fixated on justifying ourselves.

Nevertheless, it was in and through pondering the rejected, wounded, Suffering Servant - who first identified himself with me, even while I imagined I was identifying with him - it was in and through that prayer, deluded though I had been, that I came to understand something of what the good thief may have finally understood. I was getting what I deserved. Christ though innocent, suffered all the same things, and much worse - before me and for me - and he deserved it not.

Repentance and conversion is a process... 'long and as hard as life.' 

Christ was mocked and scorned and condemned - and died.  Even upon the cross 'he was made a fool of before all whom he loved.'  That in our repentance we may acquire humility and not lose hope in his mercy.  Angela of Foligno said the book of Christ Crucified is the only book we need study for our complete conversion.  Even in the depths of our sin, we can see Christ, already descended there, waiting for us right there.

I can't help but wonder, even hope, that this is what Cardinal Mahony is doing now...  Charity hopes all things.  The Cardinal expressed the need to forgive those who attack him.  Wrong or right, when attacked, our human nature is angered - we all need to forgive as much as we hope to be forgiven.

That said, the Cardinal answers to God and the Pope in religious matters, and civil court in legal matters.  The fact is, the Cardinal continues to teach, and I suspect he continues to learn as well.

Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

- Psalm 139

 

The Holy Father: “ask for the gift of poverty – not misery, but poverty ..."

YES!

When I was in 6th grade I remember sitting at the supper table and saying, "I wish we were poor!"  I didn't know we were.  My parents freaked - my dad almost slapped me off my chair and yelled, "You're a g--d--n idiot."  My mother started crying, "How can you be so stupid!"

We are poor you moron!

At the time, I was reading Johannes Jorgensen's biography of St. Francis and was deeply impressed by Francis' poverty and 'foolishness for Christ'.  In fact, around the same time, I embarrassed my brother one day acting as if I was truly crazy and announcing over and over, "I'm touched!  I'm touched!"  I learned early on not to imitate the saints in everything.

That said, I wish Pope Francis could have talked to my parents ...

I love how the Holy Father praises poverty...

A Christian community – the Pope continued – shows that it is renewed in the Holy Spirit “when it is in search of harmony” and not internal division: “when it seeks poverty, and does not hoard riches for itself, because riches are to be put to the service of the needy”, and when “it does not show anger” or offense in the face of difficulties, but is patient like Jesus:

“In this second week of Easter, during which we celebrate the Easter mysteries, it would be a good thing to think of our communities, be they diocesan communities, parish communities, family communities or other, and ask for the grace of harmony” – a gift of the Spirit; “ask for the gift of poverty – not misery, but poverty: the capacity to manage my possessions with generosity and for common good”; to ask for the grace of patience. - Vatican Radio

St. Benedict Joseph Labre

St. Angela of Foligno praised the gift of poverty as well:  "through temporal poverty the soul will find eternal riches; through contempt and shame it will obtain supreme honour and very great glory..."

Today is the feast day of my special patron, my man, St. Benedict Joseph Labre.  So poor.  Such a fool for Christ.  He is also special patron to Benedict Joseph Ratzinger, whose birthday is today.

[Yeah, but ...  Now watch how defensive all those vowed to poverty will get.  I'm thinking a couple of priests may have some defensive posts up as well - what did the pope really say ...  he said POVERTY.]

What?

Happy Birthday Holy Father!

Such drama.

The purgative stage of illness.

When we are sick, all of our bodily eliminations literally spew out the impurities that pollute our system and are responsible for making us sick.  You can be so sick you almost feel better after vomiting repeatedly - just for a minute or so, of course.  Have you ever been so sick you can't even pray?  That can happen.

I'm just starting to feel better today - I'm regaining my perspective I think.  I have to think of it as a real purgation nonetheless.  Finally this morning I was able to 'say' my prayers, and I thought of Catherine of Genoa right away - therefore she is my patron for the day.  Did you know she once told an uppity priest that if she thought for one minute his habit would make her holy she'd rip it off his back and put it on and live a religious life.  What's that got to do with anything?  I don't know.  But I love her and she knew first hand about purgation, sickness and depression, and unsentimental charity.

This morning I noted on Spirit Daily an essay on Purgatory based upon some private revelations - I didn't read it all - just skimmed it - but it led me to re-read something from John of the Cross, from his Living Flame of Love, which resonated with me more clearly.  As I always say, St. John writes for contemplatives, I don't consider myself one of them.  He also writes about the various stages of the spiritual life - especially in advanced souls, something I don't concern myself with since it is all above me.  Nevertheless, the psychological state John describes strikes me as helpful in shedding some light on the very idea and purpose of purgatory - here on earth and in the actual state after death.  I'll share some highlights here.

The purgative way.

"Spiritual writers call this activity the purgative way. In it a person suffers great deprivation and feels heavy afflictions in his spirit , which ordinarily overflow into the senses, for this flame is extremely oppressive. 
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In this preparatory purgation the flame is not bright for a person, but dark.  if it does shed some light, the only reason is that the soul may see its miseries and defects.  It is not gentle, but afflictive." 

[I want to stop right there for a moment.  This is what many saints described in their conversions - which were not overnight excursions.  Think of Angela d'Foligno and Margaret d'Cortona - they went in stages - and others went in longer stages.  Like Sr. C., the nun I mentioned in a former post, she lived in affliction all her religious life and only on her deathbed did she experience any consolation.  Most of us believe we are converted, do a little penance, make a few sacrifices, do the right stuff, and boom!  We're all spiritual and good.  I don't think we can comprehend authentic Roman Catholic spirituality with a new age, prosperity gospel mentality.  But I am no one to listen to.  Let's get back to the text.]

"Sometimes, out of his goodness, god accords some delight in order to strengthen and encourage it, the soul suffers for this before and after with another trial.  Neither is the flame (the Living Flame, the Holy Spirit)  refreshing and peaceful, but it is consuming and contentious, making a person faint and suffer with self-knowledge.  Thus it is not glorious for the soul, but rather makes it feel wretched and distressed in the spiritual light of self-knowledge which it bestows.  as Jeremiah declares, God sends fire into its bones and instructs it. [Lam. 1:13]; and as David asserts, He tries it by fire. [Ps. 16:3]

At this stage a person suffers from sharp trials in his intellect, severe dryness and distress in his will, and from the burdensome knowledge of his own miseries in his memory, for his spiritual eye gives him a very clear picture of himself.  [...]  This purgation resembles what Job said God did to him: you are changed to be cruel toward me. [Jb. 30:21]  for when a soul suffers all of these things jointly, it truly seems that God has become displeased with it and cruel.

A person's suffering at this time cannot be exaggerated; they are but little less than the sufferings of purgatory." - St. John of the Cross, Living Flame of Love, Stanza 1, Commentary, 18-21

And just think, Job was a just man.  Elsewhere St. John quotes scripture, "Only with difficulty will the just man be saved." 

  
Art:  Catherine of Genoa.  I got this from Idle Speculations, which has a very good post on St. Catherine which I found after searching for an image of the saint.