The Grand Silence of Holy Saturday

Praying silently.

This day, of all days, I pray silently.  When I use words, it seems I can only accuse myself of all my sins, because today everything seems dark.  And there, mysteriously, I encounter Christ ...

Lord my God, I call for help by day
I cry at night before you.

I am reckoned as one in the tomb;
I have reached the end of my strength,
Like one alone among the dead,
like the slain lying in their graves,
like those you remember no more,
cut off, as they are, from your hand.

You have laid me in the depths of the tomb,
in places that are dark, in the depths.
Your anger weighs down upon me;
I am drowned beneath your waves...

So there is no consolation, save the awareness that Jesus bore all of my shame and was accused and condemned for all of my lies, my lust, my sin ...

Wretched, close to death from my youth,
I have borne your trials, I am numb.

No consolation.  The Sorrowful Mother, who embraces the dead Christ cannot be consoled, neither can she reject the sinner.  So I sit alone and in silence ... in confidence, love and thanksgiving ... pondering what the Holy Father said: "To remain silent, to pray, to accept humiliation."

Our Lady on Holy Saturday

Come, all who pass by the way, pay attention and see ...

Holy Saturday is traditionally kept in company with Our Lady - or at least devotions to Our Lady of Sorrows, Our Lady of Solitude, are piously kept. The image shown here is the beautiful Nuestra Senora de la Soledad de Manilla. There are many variations of NS Soledad, this one is especially charming.

Italians also have a special devotion to l'Addolorata, Our Lady of Sorrows. Frequently - usually - the Madonna is shown weeping, her heart pierced with seven swords representing the seven sorrows foretold by the prophet Simeon. It is a lovely practice to keep Our Lady company in this way.

However, knowing what she knew, Our Lady's sorrows were not isolated from Our Lord's. She suffered the opposition of sinners with him, sharing his shame. It seems to me the devotion to the Sorrowful Mother is for our consolation, more or less. Our Lady suffered with Jesus - her suffering is/was co-redemptive. Her silent, loving 'action' on Holy Saturday was not forlorn. She knew by faith that he descended among the dead, and was at work even then/now. She knew by faith that in three days he would rise again.

These thoughts permit one a different perspective. Considering the mystery in a new way, somehow I think we might come to understand that what we see in the Virgin may be our own fears and sorrows reflected, which in her mother's love, she assuages. I may be wrong, or just old, but it occurred to me that Our Lady's sadness isn't meant to guilt us or make us feel bad about ourselves, but rather it is the first glimmer of hope, before the joy of Easter. While her solitude is a sober reminder of how sin separates us from the love of God. Therefore we are moved to deeper sorrow for our sins and the sins of others and making reparation is our attempt to console Our Lady. She is there, as it were, willing to receive all our fears and sorrows - she shares them - in other words she compassionates them. The more our love prompts us to 'take pity' on our Mother of Sorrows, the more she in turn prepares us to comprehend the depths of Divine Mercy and Love.

Anyway, I might be wrong. One thing for sure, if Christ seems silent and hidden, our Sorrowful Mother is near, watching and waiting, loving and praying with us.

Remember, today is the second day of the Novena to Divine Mercy. If you have started it, begin today.

Holy Saturday

Our Lady of Solitude…Pray For Us.

O Mary Virgin most pure.

O Mother of the most loving son,

obtain for me through your painful solitude the grace

to suffer with patience the trials of this earthy life,

with the protection of your maternal care,

may I sing your praise with grateful heart in heaven forever. Amen.

The descent among the dead ...

The silence ...

Except for those still clamoring.

"Take warning from the example of Lot's wife who, because she was disturbed at the destruction of Sodom, and all of those perishing, turned back to look. God punished her for this, and she was 'turned into a pillar of salt' (Genesis 19.26). This teaches you that it is the will of God, even if you were living among devils, you should so live as not to turn back in thought to consider what they are doing, but forget them utterly. You are to keep your soul wholly to God, and not to suffer the thought of this or that to disturb you." - John of the Cross

Holy Saturday

So anyway...

It's Holy Saturday - some totally random thoughts.

I finished the icon-style painting I made of Blessed Alberto Marvelli.  I still have to 'varnish' the panel, but I laid the gold leaf last night.  My Lenten work is complete... which brings me to the emptiness of Holy Saturday.  The feeling of being a useless servant, having only done my duty - and not very well at that. 

The reason we seek diversions and satisfactions in life is because of our fear of annihilation - the silence of Holy Saturday reminds me of that.

I went to my local parish for Holy Thursday.  It was rather strange.  I'm good with just reading the Gospel of the washing of the feet - but the Church makes the call to do it - although I think maybe the practice should be limited to the cathedrals.  Anyway.  At my parish I had no idea that the custom is to wash one another's feet.  Personally I don't care if they wash cat's feet, it really doesn't seem necessary.  I'm just fine with not following the rubrics and washing women's feet - for 'pastoral reasons' of course - I know!  I'm just not into the performance aspect.  But I digress.

So they washed each other's feet, which meant many pitchers of water and a whole lot of musical chairs style action going on.  Perhaps it was meaningful to the people who had their feet washed, I don't know.  Watching the whole spectacle is what inspired my thoughts about washing cat's feet - you would only need three cats to have twelve feet - although, since half the congregation went forward for the foot bath, it was a lot more than twelve feet.  Confused?  Me too.  But I don't care because I was there for the Mass.

After Mass, the Blessed Sacrament was reposed in an unadorned tabernacle, on an unadorned altar of repose - very Cistercian I thought.  The doors were left open.  A few people remained for adoration, but soon left.  The doors remained open.  I remained somewhat longer, but left as I heard the doors of the Church being locked - I wanted to stay, but I was sure the tabernacle would be moved into the sacristy, and I didn't want to watch how that was done - better not to look.  It was 9 PM.  The doors remained open on the tabernacle as I left.

All in all, it was a very odd experience.  I try to roll with stuff - I've always been like that.  It is what it is - it was my experience of Holy Thursday - the holiness of the night wasn't affected in the least - for me.  I don't like it when people decry the abuses and proclaim the rubrics, while condemning the ministers and congregants.  Especially while people are trying to pray.  And since I was trying to pray, I decided not to go back to my parish church until after Easter.

Oh.  Comments remain closed by the way.  I sort of just want to say what I want to say and be done with it. 

With comments closed, I'm not tempted to worry as much about pleasing people, or choosing my words as carefully.  (I also don't have to drop everything just to check comments.)  Someone, somewhere, wrote something about Merton and his concerns about writing and seeking self through it: seeking approval, recognition and reputation, and so on.  It reminded me of what Christ said to the Pharisees, "How can you believe when you accept praise from one another?"

I do that both with my painting and my writing.  We all do it.  The beautiful posts by religious people over the triduum - we all do it.  Everything we do is corrupted by self-interest and pride - seeking praise from one another.

Someone suggested to me that advertising revenue on one's blog goes up in proportion to the hits they receive.  Some blogs are like brothels in that respect.

Whatever. 

Holy Saturday is emptiness and pain... it is reality. 

Sometimes I have the strange experience of watching a young actor or actress, whose talent I admire and whose career holds promise, and I think, "I'll never live to see how their lives turn out."  Unlike the famous people I knew of while growing up, following their careers until they died - I won't know how the 'new one's' lives will turn out.  I imagine it is similar to the feeling a parent has with a child - knowing that they will probably die before them.  Or a lover who lost his beloved.  We won't know because death will do us part and no one will remember us after we are gone...  "Our life is over like a sigh. Our span is seventy years or eighty for those who are strong. And most of these are emptiness and pain."

That's Holy Saturday.  (Christ already rose from the dead you know.)

Art:  L'attraction du vide (The attraction of emptiness) - Gilbert Garcin

Keeping Our Lady company...

Where has your lover gone,

O most beautiful among women?

Where has your lover gone

that we may seek him with you?

My lover has come down to his garden,

to the beds of spice,

To browse in the garden

and to gather lilies...

Christ amongst the dead.

Our Lady of Solitude

+

My soul waits for the Lord

more than sentinels wait for the dawn.

.

.

.

Text: Psalm 130

Art: Our Lady of Sorrows on Holy Saturday with the penitent St. Peter.

Where have you hidden, my beloved?

+

Where has your lover gone,

O most beautiful among women?

Where has your lover gone

that we may seek him with you?

My lover has come down to his garden,

to the beds of spice,

To browse in the garden

and to gather lilies...

.

.

.

Text: Song of Songs

Art: No information available.