You can't go to communion if ...
The toxic atmosphere.
I always accuse myself of being afflicted by a skeptical spirit, pretty much because I'm always dismissing locutionists and seers and their prophecies of doom and gloom as nothing more than fantasy based upon their personal meditations and the influence of earlier mystics and their prophecies of catastrophic events. Which they seem to recycle and repeat.
Today the very, very, very devout Catholics online have, through their own critical spirit and fault finding, created a toxic atmosphere in the Church. Talk about the smoke of Satan entering through some fissure ... the negative critical skepticism which pervades our culture and political system has been set up in the sanctuary. Under the cover of being concerned for the salvation of souls, the very devout condemn just about everyone they disagree with or suspect of harboring a liberal thought or progressive idea.
Yesterday I went to a different church for Mass again. I was disturbed by temptation throughout the Mass, making it hard to pray. Wondering about the priest, the music, and so on. Is he a good priest? Is he all about promoting himself? Is the music too loud, too secular - not conducive to recollection and prayer? Is the priest ambitious for promotion? Does he institute programs in the parish to impress the archbishop? I was able to pray, because thoughts like these - which indeed are temptations, come and go like leaves in the wind. Yet at bedtime they all returned and I wasn't able to sleep well.
No longer just whispers in the loggia.
Thoughts, temptations like these seem to arise from the chatter and gossip in the Church - no longer 'court gossip' and intrigue, the gossip is now spread online by social media, prompting dubia and corrections of bishops, priests, religious, and even the pope. 'They' claim to be working for the salvation of souls, but they are fueling skepticism and the critical spirit, making matters worse. (I fault myself for reading their stuff, and going to their sites.) Of course they will object and say that is not the case, once again claiming to be working for the salvation of souls - by sowing doubt and deeper suspicions that the Church is filled with heresy and demons. They are blind guides.
Yes, I hear the whisperings of many: "Terror on every side! Denounce! let us denounce him!" All those who were my friends are on the watch for any misstep of mine. "Perhaps he will be trapped; then we can prevail, and take our vengeance on him." - Jeremiah 20:10
Their rancor seems to indicate a deeper spiritual malaise, perhaps acedia? In 'community' it can be infectious and contagious. It leads to malice, rancor, pusillanimity, discouragement, sluggishness, and dissipation of spirit - as Garrigou-Lagrange explains it. Almost certainly by those preoccupied with the spiritual and moral life of others - even in matters of conscience - especially when they offer public corrections, and in some cases, unauthorized 'canonical' judgments. I'm no expert of course, but if indeed that be the case, in the mix is a great spiritual pride which causes a certain type of blindness, or tunnel vision. Then a man abandons meekness and humility, boasts of his perfection, judges others severely, sets himself up as a master, to ask questions to entrap another, and to condemn by offering fraternal corrections
- which show how learned and holy and righteous the judge is, making himself the highest authority, in drawing souls to oneself or to the group to which one belongs instead of leading them to our Lord.
When confronted by a rebuke or counter criticism their rancor and critical spirit feigns humility, insisting their harsh rebukes are charity - the truth in charity, and their purpose is for the salvation of souls. Again, I'm tempted to skepticism.
I see my experience, or these temptations, as a call to deeper repentance, of detachment, and to remain in the solitude of recollection, putting no trust in princes or men, but in God alone. I'm not discouraged, but understand better what distress doubters feel and how these things distract from the one thing necessary.
Christ walked in peace through the midst of them.
Pretty much for my own edification, I'll reprint some pious thoughts which help me return to recollection and prayer - not at all an escape into some false security of the 'Benedict option' - which is another delusion many seem to opt for these days.
"Realize that your soul is the temple of God - it is St. Paul who teaches this. At every moment of the day and night the three Divine Persons are living within you." - Elizabeth of the Trinity
Therefore, if the mountains fall into the sea, the earth quakes and every structure collapses - nothing can separate us from the love of God that comes to us in Christ. It is Christ who begs us, "Remain in me": "It is the Word of God who gives this order, expresses this wish. Remain in me, not for a few moments, a few hours which must pass away, but 'remain' - permanently, habitually. Remain in me, pray in me, adore in me, love in me, suffer in me, work and act in me." - Elizabeth of the Trinity
So. It is not by careful watching, judging the orthodoxy of others, questioning every report and searching every word to see if it indicates this or that, is true or false, or may open the door to error, and so on. None of that is necessary for simple souls ... not even for ordinary people.
"I wish I could tell all souls what sources of strength, of peace, and of happiness they would find if they would only consent to live in this intimacy." (Prayer of recollection) - Elizabeth of the Trinity
One mystic I was always inclined to trust was Sr. Mary of the Holy Trinity, a Poor Clare of Jerusalem. I like this:
“I passed through the world doing good-I brought peace, order, kindness, an easy kindness. I healed the sick; I forgave sins; I gave joy, true joy, tranquil joy. I brought the Beatitudes. I revealed God. It is because men do not know Him that they do not love God. You must reveal God. That is charity.” - Our Lord to Sr. Mary of the Holy Trinity, Poor Clare of Jerusalem
Every good thing I read echoes the Holy Father, and I am once again encouraged - because he too follows Christ and reveals God to the poor.
Let nothing disturb your peace. It is heaven on earth. Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.