"Are we prepared to promote conditions in which the living contact with God can be reestablished? For our lives today have become godless to the point of complete vacuity. God is no longer with us in the conscious sense of the word. He is denied, ignored, excluded from every claim to have a part in our daily life." - Alfred Delp, S.J.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Jake Genesis... A penitent's story.

If you are tempted by porn, DO NOT
Google photos of this guy.

I've never been into porn, believe it or not, (thanks be to God-there for but the grace of God) so I would never know who this guy is if a reader hadn't told me about him - thanks much Just Some Random Guy for the story.


The story appears to be true and if it is, it is truly edifying and encouraging.  "All the angels in heaven rejoice over one repentant sinner!"  Nevertheless, pray for the man because porn carries a lot of demons with it, and conversion is not easy... the road is narrow.

Jake Genesis apologizes...

Public Scandal: Public Apology

LOVE bade me welcome; yet my soul drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lack’d anything.
‘A guest,’ I answer’d, ‘worthy to be here:’
Love said, ‘You shall be he.’
‘I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear,
I cannot look on Thee.’ 10
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
‘Who made the eyes but I?’
‘Truth, Lord; but I have marr’d them: let my shame
Go where it doth deserve.’
‘And know you not,’ says Love, ‘Who bore the blame?’
‘My dear, then I will serve.’
‘You must sit down,’ says Love, ‘and taste my meat.’
So I did sit and eat.
–George Herbert

A few months ago at the height of my popularity, I quietly stopped filming in the adult entertainment industry. I quietly deleted my Twitter account and my Facebook and Facebook Fan page. I stopped posting on my website and eventually had all the content removed. I quietly turned into myself, looking deeply and asking what I had done to my life.

A little less than a year ago, I began a short but intense career in the adult entertainment industry. There were lots of factors that lead me to that place at that time. Many of those factors I am only now beginning to understand. What is undeniable is that, despite the factors which contributed to that decision, that decision was my decision and I am responsible for having made it. I am responsible for the effects and consequences of my actions. I was not forced, coerced, or tricked into doing pornography. I was not economically destitute or without other options. I had low self-esteem, I was depressed, I felt I had nothing to lose and I did not fear or care about the consequences of my actions.

My choice was arrogant and it was selfish. I hurt people as a result of the choice that I made. I hurt my family. I hurt my friends. I hurt my brothers and former colleagues in the police department in which I served and the religious order of which I was a member. I hurt the men with whom I filmed pornography through my participation in the industry and I hurt the countless people who have seen what I did and who will see it. I take full responsibility for my decision. I accept the consequences, both known and unknown, of my decision. With a contrite and broken heart I ask the mercy and forgiveness of those who were hurt by my involvement in the pornographic industry. 
Pornography does violence to human spirit and, in its effort to display human sexuality openly, pornography perverts it. Pornography destroys families and relationships and lives. Far from being a victimless act, pornography victimizes every single human being involved. The victims of the adult entertainment industry are those who consume pornography and their families but also those involved in the production of pornography and, especially the models or actors.
100% of the actors in pornography are victims to varying degrees. The very young, the economically destitute, and the uneducated are victimized to a higher degree than men like me who made a more conscious choice, but everyone is harmed deeply by the experience and no one escapes the knife that cuts deeply the innate dignity of the human person.

One thing that I am grateful that I never did was to recruit someone into doing porn. There are “agents” who make a lot of money doing this. I want to speak for a moment to anyone reading this who might be interested in doing porn or who knows someone who may be. Many young men wrote to me during my time in the industry with the same basic question, “How do I get to be a porn star?” This was always my response:

“The best advice that I can give you about working in porn is not to do it… ever. Put the idea of your mind completely. Go to school or finish school and use your talents to do something useful. The porn industry will exploit you, it will chew you up and spit you out. You will be popular one day and a ‘has been’ the next day. The people in the industry aren´t necessarily bad but they are first and foremost concerned with making a profit and not with your wellbeing as a person. They will use you as much as they can when you are a new face, wear out your image, then toss you to the side when the next new face comes along. I’m being totally honest with you. Working in porn is hard for very little money. We are little more than prostitutes. The benefits are very few and the drawbacks are many. If there is anything else you can do in life– do that instead even if it means working at Starbucks or the GAP.

You have to consider carefully all the doors porn will close for you and you must not overestimate the number it will open, for it is very few. Don´t think that you can do one or two scenes and then hide them. What is filmed and put on the internet is forever. It will also ruin your romantic life- everything becomes exponentially more complicated and having a truly healthy relationship that is fair and equal is almost impossible. Do something else. Do anything else. That´s my advice. I hope it helps you make a good decision.”

So I am on a very personal journey. It is a journey of reconciliation, forgiveness, and redemption. Anyone who has followed my career knows that I am a Catholic. As such, the path to reconciliation with God and with the Church is relatively clear: through the ministry of the Church God’s mercy is infinite and His love with without limit. Forgiving myself for what I have done and finding the humility and the words to seek the forgiveness of others is another, more difficult matter. Part of that journey will involve investigation how I lived 8 months of my life in absolute contradiction to who I know I really am. That investigation will likely involve writing about my experiences. In the meantime, here is a brief but good article on pornography for anyone interested:

Thank you for taking the time to read what I have written here today, for your support, and forgiveness. - Genesis site

Prayers for this man and the gift of penance.

H/T to Some Random Guy.


  1. Wow, praise God! He's going to need lots and lots of prayers--I cannot imagine how much temptation he must be going through.

  2. How could a man be a member of a religious order and get away with filming porn? I think whatever religious order he was (and maybe still is?) a member of needs a serious investigation.

    That said, I'm inspired by his courage to walk away from it. May God use him and his experience to bring many to conversion!

  3. Several months back I read in a weekly magazine an obit on another man who renounced his porn career and became a Christian ... if memory serves me correctly, I believe he came a Catholic too. Reading about his life in his words, they echo the same message. This man lead a tragic life until he found peace w/God.

  4. It seems he regrets only his involvement in pornography, not his homosexuality. I wonder if he accepts himself as a gay man and if he's in a loving relationship with another man. There are lots of Catholic men in that, er, camp. Of course, depending on his understanding of himself as a gay man, I can see at least two Catholic organizations vying for him to be on their respective speaking circuits -- the Courage Apostolate and DignityUSA. Time will tell, I guess.

  5. Even if you are not tempted by porn, DO NOT Google photos of this guy.

  6. Someone mentioned that this man is SSA. I read the article again and don't see it there. Why the assumption that he is SSA? Even if he filmed with other men that doesn't mean he's actually SSA. There are many male porn stars who are not SSA who film scenes with me. It's about the money and the fame, not the orientation.

  7. Aloysius - I don't think he was or is a member of a religious order, he just describes himself as Catholic - and obviously a faithful Catholic:

    "Anyone who has followed my career knows that I am a Catholic. As such, the path to reconciliation with God and with the Church is relatively clear: through the ministry of the Church God’s mercy is infinite and His love with without limit."

  8. Terry, he said "I hurt my friends. I hurt my brothers and former colleagues in the police department in which I served and the religious order of which I was a member." Seems pretty clear that he was a member of a religious order.

    1. I think he was probably a novice studying for the priesthood, (he has a degree in philosophy), then left that and became a police officer, then went into porn. He did not do porn while being a member of an order.

  9. I don't know how I missed that Aloysius. I'm glad he left before pursuing his film career.

    So Aloysius, are you an actor? I only ask because you wrote, "There are many male porn stars who are not SSA who film scenes with me."

  10. Terry, it appears as though you caught a typo of catastrophic proportions! I am not an actor of any kind.

  11. I've been trying to remember what I meant to say, and I finally remembered. It should read "There are many male porn stars who are not SSA who film scenes with MEN." It's amazing what just one little letter can do to change the meaning.

    1. I figured all along that that's what you meant, and I wondered how long it would dangle before someone grabbed it. Thank you for a good laugh. :)

  12. Thanks Aloysius - as Thom said - for a good laugh. I was sure something was off with your statement.

  13. There was another guy who recently shared a similar story of return to the Catholic Church... http://www.amazon.com/Swallowed-Satan-Christ-Pornography-Homosexuality/dp/193926815X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370958535&sr=8-1&keywords=Swallowed+by+Satan%3A+How+Our+Lord+Jesus+Christ+Saved+Me+From+Pornography%2C+Homosexuality%2C+And+The+Occult

  14. I was Reading St Paul Romains 7, 23... I will pray for you... Hang on tight on Our Lord Cross
    The Holy Spirit reaches me , all the way from Canada

    1. Thank you Marc - I will pray for you too. We will pray together.


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