Thursday, June 14, 2012

Homo-sexual fluidity and the other gay marriages...

Joan Cusak in "In and Out" - 'Is everybody gay?'

True confessions.

Confessions of a recovering lesbian* -  Gay man happily married to a woman.

Chaste Gay-Catholics share their stories... and they all hang on to the gay.

I'm really trying to understand.

I have good friends who were gay and wanted a family, they met and fell in love with women, got married and passed for straight.  Personally, I think they are straight - sure, they fell off the wagon once or twice, but like a dog who once tasted blood, they slipped up.  Nevertheless, they have integrated their lives successfully, and have lovely families, and yes, their wives knew of their past and accepted them.

On the other hand, I have worked with and for numerous closet cases - married men who never were 'out' before marriage.  These men could be quite wicked.  Essentially, most of them were serial offenders - perhaps like a popular coach who has been in the news recently.  Others spent their free time at parks and in restrooms, looking for anonymous, adult sexual contact.

But now things appear to be changing.  Some lesbians and gay men renounce the homosex and marry and have families, while continuing to identify as gay - but their sexuality is re-oriented to, err, they live chastely according to their state in life, which happens to be heterosexual marriage, which then neutralizes the gay sex part... or something like that - but they can still appreciate a nice-looking...

Yep, that's normal.

How do you explain this to kids?

*I'm thinking this story is by Melinda Selmys - UPDATE:  Nope.  Not her.  Melinda graciously cleared that up.


  1. That since the fall of Adam and Eve there is absolutely nothing new under the sun. That this is just a part of the fallen human condition. That this condition in itself is not sinful but on the contrary can become a great tool toward holiness in the same way if given in to can become an agonizing road to ultimate perdition. That some are better able to overcome such temptations through the grace of GOD in the sacraments and their devotion to His mother while others hasten on the broad road of destruction chasing phantoms under the illusion that they shall ultimately find happiness giving into this temptation and all the while running further and further into enveloping darkness holding hands of like companions running faster and faster away from the light at the mouth of the cave until they are lost.

  2. I'm just taking a facetious tone here because I find these matters problematic. On some level, it appears most of these people have grown up with some degree of acceptance that gay is good/normal or a natural sexual variant of human sexuality. Curriculum most likely played a role, along with media and pop-culture, most likely played a major role there. It adds another dimension to the process of normalizing homosexuality.

    One day it may be illegal for parents to teach their children otherwise.

    1. I know.........and all you can do is try to do what's right and pray. There isn't much else one can do. If you are a parent and have access to an authentically Catholic school or just home school. I'm sure it will one day be illegal for parents to do otherwise.

  3. Modern life is SO complicatred ;)

  4. Maria, you just made the Kinks' "Complicated Life" come into my head.

    I bet Ray Davies thinks this is all madness. He always was a crotchety conservative at heart.

  5. Hi Terry,

    No. The "recovering lesbian" is a different married, SSA Catholic woman with a large brood of homeschool kids... My work is always recognizable by the fact that I use my real name :)
    That said, I think that you're misunderstanding the purpose of being forthright with our experiences. The "ex-gay" narrative doesn't work, because at the moment society construes "gayness" in terms of attraction, not practice. If I say that I'm an "ex lesbian" I'm using the terms in a way that is contrary to their usual secular usage, and that makes people think that I'm being disingenuous or deceitful.

    1. Thanks for clearing that up - I'll correct it in the post.

      Melinda, I'm doing my best trying to understand and follow, believe me. As you know, the language can be very misconstrued all over these days.

      I have to admit I am fascinated by your posts and you are indeed helping me to understand.

      Thanks for stopping by.


Please comment with charity and avoid ad hominem attacks. I exercise the right to delete comments I find inappropriate. If you use your real name there is a better chance your comment will stay put.