"It's just a kiss, it wouldn't kill you!" - Basil Fawlty to Manuel when he refused to work with, and let Kurt the Greek Chef kiss him.
Funny as a same-sex kiss can be in a sitcom or a film, and maybe even now in the Will Smith situation - I think the reporter trying to kiss Smith demonstrates just how weird the gay thing really is. I know some people will say I'm making a big deal out of nothing - but I think they would only be disagreeing with my statement pretty much for the same reasons Basil Fawlty tried to convince Manuel nothing is wrong with allowing Kurt to kiss him - out of self-interest. They can't imagine why a heterosexual would think it strange to have a man kiss him.
Obviously, Will Smith is not a homophobe - he just recently came out in support of gay marriage. The reporter who kissed him has a reputation for kissing all the celebrities he covers, thus it can be argued it wasn't even a gay demonstration on his part. Or was it? Knowing the Russian condemnation of all things gay, I wonder if the journalist had other, more political motives? Either way - Will Smith acted appropriately - err, normally.
It's just a kiss...
I hate kissing strangers - gratefully the social kiss has long turned to air-kissing - I hate that too. It's so phony. But I digress. My point is that men do not want to be kissed by other men. Most men are repulsed by such things. Will Smith's candid, spontaneous reaction demonstrates that. So, know your place boyz and respect the boundaries of social convention. If that's homophobic, then I'm homophobic too. In fact, I don't think homophobia is a disease at all - rather, I think it can be something of a healthy safeguard.
I had some friends who wanted to kiss me - and all of their guests - whenever anyone visited them; it happened when I arrived and when I left. First it was a tres continental embrace with a peck on each cheek, then it evolved to trying to kiss me on the lips. I was able to dodge it by continuing to talk or just by bowing my head. I hated it. It wasn't quite so weird for me to encounter, probably because my dad kissed everyone on the lips too. I know! Oh well, he was a drunk.
People need to learn manners and respect the personal space of others, and definitely, practice discretion.
Anyway - Kudos to Will Smith for acting like a man.
I didn't know anything about this story. However, I'm with you on the personal space - manners thing. I just always hated that feeling of being required to kiss strangers because everyone did. I had a fitness training client who became a friend who insisted on hugs all the time in a needy sort of way. He would insist on it at the gym of all places. I just thought the whole idea was so inappropriate and I was repulsed by it. I just don't get it. In the same way I don't hold hands during the Pater Noster at Mass. It too comes across as phony often times.
ReplyDeleteWe think alike on this.
ReplyDelete+JMJ+
ReplyDeleteI hate the social kiss as well. My friends haven't attempted to inflict one on me since the last time one of them tried . . . and I fell over backwards trying to avoid it. But I was the one who ended up looking bad, you know?
I know - then you are the bad person who is cold and unemotive.
DeleteDidn't Will Smith teach about the 90% rule in Hitch?
ReplyDeleteyes he di-id. Ah huh!
DeleteI always reach forward with my hand upon leaving. I learned this in Germany where you shake hands upon arriving and leaving even with friends each time. I just always automatically reach out with my hand. I just have such difficulty with that dejected, pathetic, whine of "I need a HUG today" in an opportunistic sort of way...from MEN!!... I just really react allergically to this anymore. I really don't care if it makes me look bad anymore. THe same as I don't care at Mass if I don't automatically hold hands with strangers next to me in a superficial kind of way.
ReplyDeleteI sit apart, and afar off so I don't have to do anything at Mass but assist in prayer.
DeleteYou must have traveled in some really, really weird circles, Terry. I've never encountered the "kissing" thing, ever. Perhaps it's the culture here: 1/2 Midwest, 1/2 Appalachian.
ReplyDeleteI did - they were kind of high society wanna be's - VP's and all that. Big salaries, big houses, etc..
DeleteHere in South Louisiana, females always hug males or females, and men shake hands or in rare cases a brief hug.
ReplyDeleteBut even if I meet someone for the first time socially, say my friend's wife - if we all spend the evening together, it's a hug to say goodbye.
BTW, I once read one of the "apologists" on Catholic Answers lecturing someone about how its wrong to for wife and husband to embrace during the sign of peace, since this is a symbol of conjugal union and is inappropriate because it will remind people of this, and furthermore it's not nice cause you shouldn't show special signs of affection to family and then just shake everyone else's hands.
Gimme a break. Monsignor Terry, is it okay to hug or kiss one's wife / kids / brothers / sisters during the sin of peace?
I don't hold hands during the Our Father cause I think it's silly.
Sometimes that's weird for people outside too.
Yes Merc. No deep kissing, tongue, or ass grabbing however.
DeleteHa!
DeleteHaha, after seeing gay couples do that at the Paulist Center in Boston, I've been calling it the "ass-grab of peace" ever since!
DeleteI used to visit the Paulist Center when I lived there years ago - but only for their lecture series. Otherwise I usually went to daily Mass at St. Anthony shrine.
DeleteI'm there all the time for confession!
Deletehttp://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-give-a-great-man-to-man-hug
ReplyDeleteOh - that is very helpful. Thanks. I know all of my readers will benefit.
DeleteYour welcome, Master Terry.
DeleteThere are four kinds of people who are allowed to kiss me: small children, my husband, blood relatives, the senile or disabled. Anybody else will get an old fashioned pimp slap.
ReplyDeleteUsually when I need an answer to all things gay there are two sources I come to, the Vatican website and here. But since there is no clear cut answer here or there, I think that we may need the big guns to weigh in on the greeting and leaving taking of close, disinterested male friends. What does Courage say? ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm going w/the typical Russian man kiss Pepe mentions.
DeleteIs gay or a "typical" russian man kiss? XD
ReplyDeleteI'll bet it is a typical Russian man kiss.
DeleteI am Russian Orthodox church - this is a very typical slavic-type greeting among both sexes on special occasions. I have also seen it done by lots of Ukrainians
ReplyDeleteit is usually done first one cheek, then the other cheek, then back to the first cheek.
Smith should have taught that reporter the greeting he taught Obama:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cuSiVwxy9o&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I went to Matins and Divine Liturgy at Pascha at the Russian Catholic Church in Los Angeles two years in a row. Part of the ceremonies included the clergy greeting all the members of the congregation in a sort of receiving line: three kisses from each priest and deacon (pretty scratchy, with so much beard involved!). As a ceremonial thing, it didn't bother me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, a lot of my friends seem to have become very huggy in kissy in recent years--they weren't when we were awkward teens (I guess there were good things about being awkward teens, after all). I've often considered carrying a concealed weapon for personal protection because the rape statistics in this city are the worst in the nation, but I don't want everyone to know about it. If I have to hug everyone I meet, they'll definitely know. On the other hand, maybe it'll keep them all from hugging me so much, in which case, it might not be so bad. Still awkward and uncomfortable, though.