Thursday, May 10, 2012

The way of perfection...



Keeping up appearances.

Yesterday, I posted about older women wearing makeup - I was pretty much just having fun, trying to get a reaction from older women who may read this blog.  Just being a snot, y'know.  Naturally there is nothing wrong with women trying to look their best - within limits of course.  I remember even Mother Angelica once joked on her program, "Some women need makeup."  Likewise St. JoseMaria Escriva liked to joke, "older facades need more restoration."  I know! 

So anyway, in response to my post yesterday, a friend sent me the following from JoseMaria Escriva:
"Another important thing is personal appearance. And I would say that any priest who says the contrary is a bad adviser. As years go by a woman who lives in the world has to take more care not only of her interior life, but also of her looks.

Her interior life itself requires her to be careful about her personal appearance; naturally this should always be in keeping with her age and circumstances. I often say jokingly that older facades need more restoration. It is the advice of a priest. An old Spanish saying goes: ‘A well-groomed woman keeps her husband away from other doors.’

That is why I am not afraid to say that women are responsible for eighty per cent of the infidelities of their husbands because they do not know how to win them each day and take loving and considerate care of them. A married woman’s attention should be centered on her husband and children, as a married man’s attention should be centered on his wife and children. Much time and effort is required to succeed in this, and anything which militates against it is bad and should not be tolerated.

There is no excuse for not fulfilling this lovable duty. Work outside the home is not an excuse. Not even one’s life of piety can be an excuse, because if it is incompatible with one’s daily obligations, it is not good, nor pleasing to God. A married woman’s first concern has to be her home. There is a Spanish saying which goes: ‘If through going to church to pray a woman burns the stew, she may be half an angel, but she’s half a devil too.’ I’d say she was a fully-fledged devil.”
(Conversations with Saint Josemaria Escriva, 107) - Source

Yes, I too blame women for most everything. 

What?

Photo: Lucy, Ethel, and Milton Berle

39 comments:

  1. "That is why I am not afraid to say that women are responsible for eighty per cent of the infidelities of their husbands because they do not know how to win them each day and take loving and considerate care of them."

    Are you kidding me with this?!

    smh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tom, I was going to say - he WAS Spanish.

      Still, I call bullshit. Even if a wife neglects her appearance and does nothing to keep him attracted, he's still 100% responsible.

      I agree that both spouses have a duty to keep the other's interest up, but this is a bit much.

      Delete
    2. +JMJ+

      I think the point is that the gravity of his sin (which no one is denying) does not cancel out the gravity of her sin.

      Delete
    3. I wonder if he'd have said something different if he would have watched Lisa Stansfield's "All Woman"?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcOyHkIewHo

      Love that song!

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    4. HER sin? If her husband is cheating, that is 100% his sin.

      Delete
  2. +JMJ+

    This reminds me of a priest who spoke at one of my high school retreats. He said, "A married woman should stay beautiful for her husband."

    I don't think I'd remember it, though, if it hadn't been for the reaction of one of my classmates. She was livid. She was also an American.

    And every time someone gets upset at similar advice, it usually is another American.

    I'm also reminded of an elderly widow who is a friend of my grandmother's. She once told me that very early in her marriage she was "kicked out" of a local charity she had supported for years because one of the religious sisters in charge believed that all the time she spent helping the poor took away from the time she could have used to attend to her husband. She also says it was one of the best things that happened to her marriage.

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    Replies
    1. Americans can't accept such European notions.

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  3. +JMJ+

    Hey, Terry, as long as you're being a snot, why don't you write a post about wives who withhold sex? It's like bait and switch when a woman asks a man to give up all other sexual partners for her and then is rarely "in the mood." Or worse: rarely in the mood and so much in need of "restoration" for the "facade."

    (I could do this all day, Terry-Ter-Ter. You know that, right? One of the captcha words is "iniss" which sounds exactly like the Tagalog verb that means "to annoy.")

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  4. Replies
    1. It's very continental, isn't it. LOL!

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    2. Jackie - remember this?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcOyHkIewHo

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    3. blocking me in this country..but yes..:)

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  5. I love when Milton Berle did drag!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was famous for it - Jack Benny too. Haha!

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    2. And Flip Wilson!

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    3. I forgot about Flip. Geraldine. LOL!

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    4. And Jonathon Winters.

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  6. We've got a patron saint of makeup and women's fashion! Escriva, not Berle. Women could put a smug little statue of the man on their vanities.
    Do women even have vanities anymore?
    Hey,Terry, do you like the Ashcan School?
    http://www.phillipscollection.org/research/american_art/artwork/Sloan-Clown_Making_Up.htm
    Come to think of it, I would prefer Berle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! That's true - St. Escriva, patron of beauty and culture. I love him and Opus Dei spirituality, but his advice here strikes me as directed to the Spanish upper classes, which some could interpret as elitist.

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  7. Picking up on the Woody Allen statement Terry previous posting ...

    Dick & Woody discuss particle physics
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xq5Nh2UqCc

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll check it out - is it like fractals?

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    2. ... I found it profoundly Woody Allen and of those times ... and dovetails the 'marriage' dialogue going on ...

      Delete
  8. I remember reading this quote from St Jose Maria Escriva before and I still know what to think about it. I think women (and men) should try to look their best but it starts to sound rather worldly and superficial if the blame for infidelities is put on outward appearances. I don't buy that or I don't want to buy that. This begins to sound more like the ssa world and practice.

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    Replies
    1. "This begins to sound more like the ssa world and practice."

      Beauty and culture and fashion...

      Delete
    2. I wasn't referring to "beauty and culture and fashion" perse.... What I mean't was the idea that more often than not in the gay world if a man isn't attractive ie "buff, butch and beautiful" and if a man doesn't hang on to that until death a man loses his attractiveness, stature and worth in the eyes of the gay community. That's what I was reading when I saw that a woman's worth is tied up in her attractiveness to her husband. I used to train a lot of men at the gym who once they became buff and getting looks from the women had thoughts about ditching their comfortably plump wives at home. People talk about this like it's a normal thing that when a man or woman loses their outward beauty they become somehow to blame for the infidelities of their mates.

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    3. I knew what you meant - but had to add that.

      Getting buff at the gym does do it though - for both sexes and orientations.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous8:55 AM

    Terry, you're funny with that picture!
    Though I expected a Coco Chanel pic....:)

    SF

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    Replies
    1. I wanted to - I can't recall if I mentioned her advice, that a woman should get up before her husband and put one her makeup so that when he awakens he sees her beautiful.

      I knew a Belgian woman who always taught young women who smoked how to hold their cigarettes so their hand wouldn't carry any unpleasant odors to annoy their husband.

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    2. Or I was going to use my famous photo of Barbara Busch applying make-up.

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    3. +JMJ+

      My favourite advice from Coco Chanel is that every woman should "edit" her ensemble right before leaving the house. That is, she should always take off one thing she is wearing and leave it at home.

      Whenever I've shared this advice with a fashionista who didn't take it (despite all my well-intentioned nagging), my respect for her fashion sense went down several notches. You see, it's simply hubris to think that your ensemble is perfect as it is and beyond all criticism.

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    4. That's very true - a friend of mine always lived by that dictum - she worked in fashion herself.

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  10. And these are the writings of a "saint?" Pish!

    -RJH

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    Replies
    1. +JMJ+

      And that is the comment of a troll! An American troll! Piss!

      (As in "taking the piss"--one of my favourite British expressions, not to be confused with "taking the piss out of"!)

      Delete
  11. From the beauty and grace of Loretta Young to Uncle Miltie in drag.....oh my!

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  12. A college acquaintance said her mom got up before her dad every morning so she could put her makeup on before he saw her. At that point, he'd never seen her without.

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    Replies
    1. She must have taken Chanel's advice. Imagine the poor husbands who had to sleep with the wives who set their hair in pin curls, or those who used to wrap their bouffants in toilet paper or the Louaine Magic Turban. Mommie Dearest.

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  13. .........."or those who used to wrap their bouffants in toilet paper or the Louaine Magic Turban. Mommie Dearest..."

    That's SO FUNNY

    As a boy in the 70s, I always associated "older women" with Bouffant hair dos or women who went to "Donnetta's Beauty Den" to get "shampoo sets" Donnetta Schaefer's window had a hand painted message, "If you aren't becoming to him , you should be coming to us!"
    It dawned on me years later that those women were sporting the hair dos they had when they believed they looked their best. Same reason that people with mullets wear mullets (we referred to mullets as "bi level haircuts" in the 80s. I can usually pinpoint a persons age by their hairstyle.

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