Is that dad's picture in the paper?
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So anyway, why do 'straight' men engage in gay sex? It's a controversial question, and a huge mystery to every wife, son or daughter, friend, parishioner, and anyone else who has ever discovered that someone they thought they knew, sometimes even their significant other - the straight guy - engaged in anonymous gay sex in public parks, rest stop toilet facilities, the men's room at the airport, or even in the office building stairwell downtown.
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Loneliness or gayness?
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A friend asked me that question. I'm no expert - no psychiatrist or therapist - but I have to say I think the activity is often more about loneliness and maybe a sense of powerlessness than anything else. Of course it is also very real sexual temptation, possibly overwhelming - which is what real therapists like to call sexual addiction. For some guys, sex outdoors is like peeing out doors - it's sort of rebellious.
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That said - outdoor sex has always been part of homosexual 'underground' culture, a carry over from the old days of never speaking the word - I've seen Elizabethan illuminations illustrating outdoor homosexual encounters. I think an element of gay culture just enjoys the adventure, the stalking, hunting-gathering dimension of the process. I also think an element of gay culture sees it as a way - consciously or unconsciously - to exploit closeted gay men and their otherwise straight counterparts troubled by homosexual temptation. Today this is an unpopular thing to suggest and activists would say it is a lie - but I think many out front gay types really enjoy this type of anonymous encounter such cruising areas enable.
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To be sure the behavior is a nuisance crime, and disgusting to encounter, and unthinkable for decent people. It happens however. I seriously doubt that men like the local priest recently in the news, is a predator. I doubt these types would ever be interested in minors or kids. I think more often than not these guys are simply seeking same sex intimacy, along with a sort of 'hands on' affirmation of their manhood and person - strange as that may sound. That doesn't discount a sort of obsessive-compulsive pull of sexual temptation and taking advantage of an opportune location and encounter however. In other words, I think in general it is a sin of weakness rather than malice. We need to remember an otherwise good man, especially one who is fiercely battling temptation can fall in an instant.
.It goes with out saying such behavior is sinful and when performed in public, it not only offends moral sensibilities, it is also a civil offense. Yep, it is deviant behavior. I'm not approving it or making excuses for it - just offering some possible insight on an otherwise perplexing problem.
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I don't know any way out of this type of thing except by conversion, prayer, the sacraments, and perserverance. Therapy can help, especially to understand what emotional problem underlies the acting out - but I believe in free will - with God anything is possible.






















