Sunday, November 21, 2010

Mass Chat: Pretend I'm the homeless guy someone dragged in off the street for donuts and coffee talk.

Just shooting my mouth off today.
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News Update:  I suppose most of my readers have noted that Nazareth Priest hasn't commented all week - he is in Rome for Cardinal Burke's Red Hat Society ceremony.
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Answering holiday queries...
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A friend asked what I planned to do on Thanksgiving.  The official line is this, "Oh, I'm going to my sisters, she has a large family and it is so nice to get together for the holidays with all of them."  That's what I tell people who ask me over to their house or ask what I plan to do, as if I'm a really lonely guy with no place to go.  Even if you called me after reading this and asked me over, I would still repeat the same story.  If you said, "I know you are making that up!"  I would still stick to that story.  If you ran into me the day after Thanksgiving and asked me pitifully, "So what did you do for Thanksgiving?"  I would still stick to that story.
"But it's a lie!"  You might argue...
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My thoughts on the holidays:
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I don't do anything on Thanksgiving - I pretty much hold my breath till it's over.  I never 'got it' - a day set aside for Thanksgiving, the big feast and stuff. I know what the holiday is all about, but I never got it. I never really cared.  For me it is in the same category as a parade or a circus - I don't get that stuff either.  Religious people like to say, well it is a day we give thanks to God for all of his blessings.  I prefer to do that everyday and at Mass: Eucharist - thanksgiving, very close.  In fact the priest's homily for today was all about how the Mass is just like Thanksgiving dinner.  Eye roll.  I'm sure it worked for most of those listening.  Anyway, I love Christmas - despite the fact I use the same excuse when invited out for Christmas - "Oh, I'm going to my sister's!" 
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Condom conundrum.
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I don't think the pope should be giving so many interviews - Queen Elizabeth doesn't - the Royals pretty much keep their mouths shut.  Anyway - public discussion of this topic corrupts young minds.  When I was little, whenever the subject of rubbers was brought up, most of the boys in 8th and 9th grade wanted to try them out.  You know what I'm saying Master B.
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Gay high school boys.
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Speaking of corrupting young minds...  So that kid at Benilde-St. Margaret's is in the news again - he wants the Catholic high school to establish a gay/straight alliance club in the school.  What a trouble maker - he wants acceptance and protection from bullying.  When I was in high school and you even acted gay - POW!  So knock it off kid, and toughen up.  You can't be gay until you are eighteen!
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Oh, oh!  here comes the pastor to escort me out, yelling:  "Grab your donuts and coffee jerk - you're outta here!"  I knew I should have gone to my sister's!
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(So now you see why I don't go home for the holidays or participate in donuts and coffee after Mass.)

15 comments:

  1. Terry: You are SO funny...Being single during the holidays I suppose never ceases being the Cross, in a way...You know, as I read the artile about the gay club it struck me: so innured have we become to sin that the sin of active homosexuality is understood as a lifestyle. The altar of self-idolatry would not have it any other way, right? Man oh man...

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  2. The first Thanksgiving happened in Florida.

    After the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, the Spaniards and Natives had a feast.

    The Anglos that celebrated a Thanksgiving later were glad the Natives kept them from dying, so they gave thanks at a feast later called Thanksgiving.

    The Native that helped them was Catholic.

    He was taken as a slave by Columbus until the Queen of Spain found out, punished Columbus, had the man educated and sent back home.

    His name was Squanto.

    The Holy Father should speak up more.

    People are going to Hell because they are listening to and obeying Caesar, rather than Christ.

    If you want your children to be Romans, educate them in government schools.

    If you want your children to be heretics, educate them in Protestant schools.

    If you want your children to be sons and daughters of Christ, educate them in a Traditional Catholic School.

    They are Freemason and homo free zones.

    *

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  3. I should get some kind of credit for this post! I'm the reason Ter is afraid to leave the house on Thanksgiving! Well, ok, any day, but really on Thanksgiving!

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  4. We had a situation earlier this fall in Utah concerning Gay-Straight Alliance "clubs" (GSA)in Southern Utah...the school board wanted to eliminate them because "they did not reflect community values." Which basically meant they had to follow LDS (Mormon) values...

    However....The federal Equal Access Act requires schools with non-curriculum clubs to allow GSAs or face the loss of federal funding.


    I'm not sure how it is in other states but that was the ruling here...and the small rural school districts in Southern Utah NEED the Federal funding....they don't have the tax base to make it on their own..as well as losing out on school lunch programs, etc..

    One of those things..if you don't like it put your kids in private school or home school..

    Sara

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  5. Amen Terry on the single invites...

    I have been single all my life and it is interesting to see how "uncomfortable" the folks with families get around single folks...and we are single for many reasons...divorce, widowhood, never married or just "between relationships."

    I had ONE half-hearted invite from one of my coworkers--"ya know..IF you don't have any plans..."..that is not an invite and we see right through it. The invite should be worded like "We would LOVE to have you join us for Thanksgiving.."

    Neither my boss, my supervisor, or any of my other coworkers extended an invitation....neither did anyone from my parish...which is a shame because I know that there are widows for whom Thanksgiving would be a very sad and lonely time..

    And please don't ask me Wed before...because YES I will already have made plans and you have your out...

    It's a shame because I DO make killer cranberries and pumpkim cheesecake to DIE for.. :)

    The BEST Thanksgivings were growing up...my dad had all the single guys/gals from work over..they were air traffic controllers and maintenance folks who had to work Thanksgiving...all they had to do was show up...my dad did turkey on the rotissierie and glazed ham...all the trimmings...buffett style so they showed up whenever and fixed up a plate..all they had to bring was thier own beer..he always said that no one should be alone on Thanksgiving..it taught us kids alot about charity and reaching out to others rather than just thinking about ourselves..

    And YES,....I DO have plans for Thanksgiving..me and some single friends are doing Pronghorn antelope on the grill...from this year's hunt..yummy :) I'm bringing pie and cranberries :)

    Sara

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  6. Terry - your sister invited me too! So I'll see you there!

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  7. I think I will grab a few turkey sandwiches, some bar-b-que potato chips and a six pack of beer and go to my old neighborhood and sign this song all day with some of the poor Negroes I grew up with:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD2D6eter7M

    I used to sit at the feet of many of the elders and listen to them speak of Jesus.

    Those poor spoke of Him with so much love and familiarity, I thought He surely lived in a house in the neighborhood. One couple was blind but they could quote any scripture passage verbatim; it was engraved in their hearts. I never saw them without a Bible in their hands even though they did not believe in sola scritura.

    I was too young to realize He resided in the Tabernacle.

    May God have had mercy on those lovers of God and His Christ.

    *

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  8. Pablo--wonderful story...thanks for sharing...

    Sara

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  9. Dear Miss Sara,

    I'll check with you Wednesday night to see if you want to drop by...

    *

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  10. Cathy,

    Don't call him first--just show up at his door! better have Ray there, too, in case you need help pushing him into your car! ;-)


    pablo, good point! the first Thanksgiving was celebrated with a Mass with Christopher Columbus and crew--years before the puritans did it!

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  11. Cath - you are right - this post was your inspiration.

    Larry - I still won't go.

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  12. Breaking news! It's a good thing you're not going anywhere Terry, snowglobes, maple syrup, cranberry sauce and gravy are all prohibited from traveling in your carry on bags!

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/11/22/snowglobes-pumpkin-pie-tsa-issues-thanksgiving-rules-air-travel/

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  13. Nan--about 15 years ago ebfore allthis broke out I had the questionable good fortune of travelling on a plane next to a "good southern Lady" who in her attempt to be "helpful" cooked collard greens and assorted seafood to bring to a family dinner on the west coast, and packed it in a small carryon....it all went bad in the process and she had neglected to put any kind of ice bags around her food...the smell was absolutely unbelievable...I couldn't believe she couldn't smell it. It got in out my clothes and hair, then I had to subject fellow shuttle buss passengers to the stink for almost 3 hours..as soon as I got my folks place I jumped into the shower....I'm pretty sure they had to take that plane out of service to get rid of the odor...

    Please do all of us air travellers a favor and prepare your food items AFTER you are with your family...or pack them in your checked baggage. Blechho...

    Sara

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  14. Sara, that's awful! About the same time, my dad brought home Alaskan king crab legs but they were properly packed for travel in a bucket with dry ice, sealed by the seller, who was accustomed to packing seafood for travel.

    I brought granola bars and fruit snacks when I went to Russia and had vodka and holy water in my checked bags on the way back.

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  15. I went to Russia and had vodka and holy water in my checked bags on the way back.

    Aren't those the same things in Russia? Bless yourself and then lick your fingers, right?

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