Monday, August 02, 2010

More of Fr. Loya's Talk From the 2010 Courage Conference


Not born that way...
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like all physical things in the created order our bodies speak a language. they point to something beyond themselves. there are no such things as 'homosexuals' because God does not make homosexual bodies. the male body, for instance, only makes sense in relation to the female body. the male body says: 'i am designed to fit in her' (physically, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically.) even if a male feels differently about this it does not change the reality that is spoken in the very theology of his male body-person. (at this point the example of persons born with the sex organs of both genders is often brought up. but rare aberrations to the created order do not change the fundamental created order which throughout creation is expressed in terms of complementarity. even the sun and the moon are often metaphorically referred to in terms of man and woman). so what does explain same sex attraction and how do we respond to this honestly?
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first of all, persons who believe they have a sexual attraction to the same gender are not born that way. repeat: persons who believe they have a sexual attraction to the same gender are not born that way. studies that supposedly proved this were done by 'homosexual' activists and the findings were skewed to serve an agenda. besides, what if it were true? how does that change anything? what if we discovered that rapists and child molesters were born that way? would we celebrate those disordered conditions and demand that their condition be given legal status and that they be allowed to live that lifestyle because it 'makes them happy?'
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now, back to why i qualified the words believe and sexual in regard to the same gender. the attraction that the insensitive secular world refers to as 'homosexual' is actually an attraction that comes out of a developmental need and is only translated as sexual. the person believes they have a sexual attraction to the same gender. this is because in our culture we erroneously translate any type of intense attraction as sexual. but this attraction is not sexual. now we get into the honest meaning of words. 'sexual' can only mean involving complementary genders. if it does not involve complementary genders or complementary body parts than the attraction or actions are in fact not sexual. there is definitely an attraction and indeed a strongly felt one. but if it is not sexual what is it?
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males receive critical developmental messages from outside of themselves, first of all from their fathers and then from the male world and lastly from the woman in their life. if a male does not receive this message or if he has received a very confusing and injurious message through sexual, verbal or psychological abuse, he can often retreat from the male world and identify with the feminine. however, this body-person has not changed and the hunger he has for what he needs from the male world stays with him. consequently his deep body-person is going to be strongly attracted to males. this attraction, because it is so strong, will be translated and attempted to be lived out sexually. but this is not really possible. male bodies do not 'fit' together and therefore on the sexual level their persons do not fit together as do the body-persons of complementary genders. the fact that sexual organs may be involved and even stimulated does not make the action honestly sexual; it cannot be sexual if it does not involve complementary genders.
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so as you can see, it is impossible to speak honestly about 'homo-sexuals,' and the Church is being compassionate by pointing this out to persons with same-sex attractions. remember, we find the key to this question and all issues of morality by going to the 'H-Zone.'
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when it comes to same-sex marriage, we often hear it asked today: "what if two men really love each other? why can't the Church let them be married so they can be happy? if it is meaningful to them who are we to judge? to understand the Church's answer to this question we must once again head into the 'H-zone:' the Honesty Zone. let's see how the H-zone gives us the most compassionate answer to these questions.
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To be continued.

2 comments:

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  2. This is such excellent psychology, spirituality and good common sense.
    Recovery from any addictive behavior has to begin with honesty.
    No matter how intense the feelings between two men or two women, sexual congress cannot be fruitful; not only physically, but emotionally, psychically, spiritually.
    We were made for complementarity.
    The love between two men or two women in friendship can be very intense, committed and spiritually fruitful; we have religious communities that were founded from this kind of love. But it is not sexual or genital.
    That is meant for holy matrimony.
    A man can love another man in Christ; give his life for that man.
    But only in Christ.
    Otherwise, it is just mutual masturbation.
    And, on one level, that can be satisfying (I hope I am not offending anyone here); it is not what God has meant for us; it cannot be what we mean for one another.
    The giving of self in sex must be open to life in a complementary union.
    There are other unions in God; but they are not genital.

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