Thursday, July 30, 2009

Lesbian stories.

Part funny, part serious.
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Okay. So Kat posted this photo with a First Communion related story dealing with her frustrations as a result of all the complications involved in arranging for her son's First Communion t her parish. My use of the photo has nothing to do with her post, nor did the following possibly inappropriate comment I left...
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This may be a little off-topic but did I ever tell you about my sister's co-worker who happened to be a dwarf (and a lesbian) and asked Beth - that's my sister - if she would let she and her lover, who was also a dwarf, borrow her twins' Communion dresses and veils because they were going to Vermont to get married? Beth told her no because the dresses couldn't be let out that much, but she (Beth) told her they could use the cake toppers if they wanted. (Your photo reminded me of the story.) - my comment at Crescat
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I know! I thought it was a funny story - and it wasn't that off-topic, was it? (Don't answer that.)
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Vowed friendship.
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Seriously now - since you brought it up, this post deals with another one I stumbled upon at a lesbian Catholic's blog late last night - why I read her I have no idea. She did a post about 'vowed friendship' for same sex couples - all chaste and celibate of course, I guess..., I don't really know. It certainly sounds like a proposal for a variation on gay marriage to me - this from a woman who once wrote she isn't interested in finding out what made her gay - she just is. (Not an exact quote BTW.) In other words, it's just fine with her to identify as gay - at least that is what I take from her. It is like the priest who tells his gay penitents that he is SSA too - same sex attracted. (In his case, it's probably empathy gone wrong.)
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Don't misunderstand me, people can identify themselves in any way they wish, but I think the Catholic penitent needs to move beyond such labels and identity and take his/her place as the woman or man God created them to be, especially if they are presenting their lives as a witness to Catholic faith and teaching on sexual morals. People disagree with me on this issue all of the time, but it is not impossible to do. Therefore if the idea of vowed friendship (a concept adapted from Victorian or even medieval times) were to take hold, I'm convinced it could only be understood as affirming or blessing a same sex relationship in an extraordinary way. And to what purpose? One must remember the gay mystique is all about the extraordinary, the unique, the special, the queer... it is a symptom of the disorder.
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It seems to me that many "Catholic" gays who appear to advocate celibacy and chastity in accord with Church teaching, also seem to desire recognition and affirmation of their very existence as gay, as same sex attracted, or (rarely) homosexually inclined - to use a few popular terms. Perhaps it is not wrong in itself that persons with deep seated homosexual inclination are convinced their sexual orientation defines who they are, therefore as the catechism teaches, "They must be accepted with respect, compassion , and sensitivity." (CCC 2358) Nevertheless, I think the push is on for more.
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Acceptance, respect, compassion, and sensitivity.
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Making friendship a sacramental, binding it by a vow would oblige the Church to move beyond acceptance into the position of affirmation and recognition of same sex unions. Historical revisionists have claimed new scholarship demonstrates that the early Church administered blessings of same sex unions, or recognized some form of filial adoption as an alternative to marriage, just as they have claimed the early Church ordained women. Such claims are distortions of the truth.
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Now it is true that a person with homosexual inclination is not required to seek to change his or her sexual orientation, but simply to abstain from homosexual activity as well as the promotion of the lifestyle; nevertheless as one grows in grace and understanding, a person can experience freedom from the homosexual identity. That said, the ascesis of leaving homosexuality is geared toward sanctity of life, in other words, the person with homosexual inclination is called to holiness, which necessarily includes the virtue of chastity. Same sex friendships are not excluded of course, even particular friendship in the case of lay people, in fact they may be necessary, but they must be chaste and celibate and properly ordered to the will of God. (Inordinate affection and emotional codependency necessarily mortified of course.)
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Everyone, no matter who they are, must try with all of their might to deeply comprehend what our Lord meant when he taught, "If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny his very self, take up his cross and follow me. For he who would save his life shall lose it, but he who loses it for me shall gain it." (Mk. 8:34-35)
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It is difficult for us in this day and age of rights and entitlements to grasp this teaching, "deny his very self". I think of St. John's pleading remarks; "Oh, who can make this counsel of our Saviour understandable, and practicable...? Oh, who can explain the extent of the denial our Lord wishes of us!" (Ascent Bk. II 7:5-6)
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Beware of compromise... "selling your birthright for a meal" (Hebrews 12:16)

7 comments:

  1. That little anecdote you left on Crescat's story was flippin hilarious!! It was all I could do not to have a loud, hysterical outburst in the office earlier :-P

    On the serious part, I don't think a vowed friendship is a really good idea for anyone. Friendships change too much. And we're not supposed to promote/affirm homosexuality like that...it's tough but true. It would be another step towards gay marriage.

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  2. Thanks - I cracked myself up too.

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  3. "Dwarf' is very un-PC. I think they call themselves little people now. ;-)

    And that story was very funny.

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  4. Larry - you are correct. I'm tending to be very un-PC lately, I don't know what's wrong with me.

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  5. Just being Catholic is un-PC. You're not being scrupulous.

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  6. Terry, this comment in your post caught my attention:

    "Vowed friendship (a concept adapted from Victorian or even medieval times"

    I don't recall hearing of this, at least, not offhand. Would you consider doing a post, even a short blurb about it?

    Victorian times were really fascinating, weren't they? All the repression created a lot of creativity! lol

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  7. Borrow first communion dresses as wedding dresses? That's pretty funny.

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