Friday, June 05, 2009

St. Paul, Minnesota

I went to the Cathedral for confession and Mass tonight.
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I drove down Summit Ave on my way.
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Then I crossed over to Dayton Ave.
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I actually lived on Dayton in my 20's, in the exact same building my dad had lived in when he was in his 20's!
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I remember I was preparing for monastic life at the time and a former seminarian friend came by and we went to the Commodore Hotel for a drink - in the same bar F. Scott Fitzgerald frequented - when he was in his 20's. Wow. (Actually that never impressed me, nor did F. Scott.)
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My friend and I got really, really drunk! I know - me so holy and all! (I really did think I was.)
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I told my friend he was way too drunk to drive, so I drove - I did not have a license, nor did I know how to drive. I know!
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We returned to my apartment at high speed - I thought if I drove fast I could avoid the cops. My apartment was small and unfurnished because I embraced poverty and was an urban hermit. I slept on the floor beneath a big Charlie De Foucauld Caritas and heart I had drawn on the wall above my blankets. We both pretty much passed out I think.
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I went to confession the next day.
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I was kind of depressed on the way home thinking about all of that stuff. When you are young it is easy to go off and do stupid things, single life doesn't feel so lonely that way.

12 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:10 AM

    This resonates with me. Being single and depressed and all of that.

    How do you view the single life now? If still lonely, has that been a blessing in disguise?

    *

    And, I love the use of the "I know!" that you throw in from time to time. I hear in my head the words "I know!" when I read them. Gets me LOL every time.

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  2. Anonymous, as one gets older, one begins to understand that the experience of loneliness is more eschatalogical than emotional.

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  3. Terry & Anon.

    I don't know about the eschatological part, but I would say that growing old doesn't mean necessarily that you no longer make stupid mistakes.

    Many different ones, to be sure, but some of the same too, if you happen to be a slow learner.

    I went to confession yesterday too (at Nativity).

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  4. Ter: Get out of my head! This sounds like my life.

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  5. I wonder out loud how you would have handled married life. Your tempermental like me, and I have made my marriage harder than it had to be.

    My husband has suffered a great deal because of my upbringing. I would say that his frustrations with me are continual. I wouldn't marry me. I've been a pain in the ass.

    He really is a saint or we would have been divorced by now.

    I wonder if God will grade us on how far we came from who we were.

    Even that change was because of God's grace. I only had to say yes, and endure the pain of change, and I have given , and recieved pain out the wahzoo.

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  6. Ray - stupid is as stupid does and I does a lot.

    Cath - really?

    Belinda - I would be worse than yo. But your husband is your love - so he is there for you to find yourself loved and healed. He is God's gift of love for you. God takes care of us.

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  7. Ray - I almost went to Nativity - haven't been back since Fr. asked if I was a parishoner. Anyway - if I had met you there, we could have gone out after Mass and got drunk. Kidding!

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  8. Ter:

    If you had been part of the attendees to here our little schola perform our first Summer performance (we are a year round operation not), you could have joined Cath and me for a breakfast at Elsie's.

    Her treat, so I ordered two of everything!! But they don't serve Sapphire Bombay martini's that early.

    Can you sing? We could use a 6th for the NE Corpus Christi Procession.
    No chant, just old standard hymns.

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  9. Ter:

    I'm going to have to quit going there, too. I'm not a parishioner either, but they have Confession I think 11 times a week, sometimes with two or three confessors and there are always lines.

    Being they are before Mass, I feel guilty that I might be depriving someone of confession if Fr. has to quit to vest for Mass.

    I suspect one of the reasons for the lines is that they are close to UST and St. Kate's U (how 'bout that?). Lots of young people in the lines.

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  10. Ray - I don't sing - but I'll try to make it some Saturday so we can have breakfast. I'll sit across from cath again and open my mouth full of food while she tries to eat.

    Don't stop going to Nativity for confession - it doesn't matter if you are a parishoner or not. I know - listen to me! LOL!

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  11. Juan T.6:33 PM

    I lived on holly ave., between summit and dayton, in my 20's. I may have lived closer to dayton as well. Me and Terry are always bumping into each other, though we've never met.

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  12. You wouldn't want to know Terry, Juan.

    He's really old. Why he used to work for Macy's when it was known as Dayton's.

    He had not one, but two Nehru jackets, one closet full of bell bottom trousers and another full of leisure suits in every color that they made.

    He has absolutely no taste at all.

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