Saturday, January 03, 2009

Sorry I'm late with these.



New Year Resolutions.

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I'm going to lose weight, get a hair transplant, a nose job, an eye lift, and breast reduction surgery.

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I'm going to find a way to be always drunk without weight gain.

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I'm going to start an online talk show called "Up Your Street" - after I heal from the surgery of course.

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I'm going to finish my tell-all book about my life, including details of my torrid affair with Gilbert Gottfried.

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I'm going to sell my Mercedes and buy a Honda - out of concern for the poor who have to take the bus.

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And most importantly, I will never tell a lie again - ever.

5 comments:

  1. LOL!

    You have such a witty sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anne-France9:22 PM

    I have the right place for you, you'll fit right in: move to Austin, TX. The city motto is: Keep Austin Weird.
    Thanks for your humor, Terry!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ter: I thought you were going to write volume II of your memoirs: "Eat ----, and Die!"? Volume I being: "F--- You, Everyone!"

    Just curious. I can't wait for Volume II. Volume I was gripping stuff! I couldn't leave my bathroom for days!

    XXXOOO

    ReplyDelete
  4. ROTFLMAO

    ReplyDelete


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