Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Just a few words from our sponsor.


Me.
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Facebook is too much. "Much too much" as Maggie Smith would say. People are getting emails from my site asking if they will be my friend. First of all, I never ask people to be my friend - or chase them down. Secondly, I haven't ever sent out an email like that - well maybe to Cathy in the beginning - but she knows I'm nuts. I think they have bots or something that read my address book and automatically send invites out. Don't get me wrong - I like having lots of friends - but I can't respond to all of this email stuff, I'm getting over 100 emails a day - from the blogs and Facebook, along with personal stuff. I don't even answer my phone or the door at home - really - I never even pick up my phone messages. I know! - I'm just weird like that. That's all.
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On a lighter note, some advice for people who suffer from chronic pain.

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I think I'm on to something here. If you don't have medical insurance or you are poor, or you just don't want to go to the Doctor but experience chronic pain, I have some remedies.
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1) Learn to love it. Accept it, offer it up and all of that, but thank God for it - seriously - thank him you can suffer something for him and for souls. I'm not kidding - it becomes so bearable that way - well not always - but often.


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2) Frequently at night I allow myself to think about it - I imagine I'm on pain killers, but awake, undergoing surgery. I imagine the doctor inserting a huge needle, say into my kidneys, to drain cysts, and I watch the tube fill up with a watery, bloody, liquid. It seems to me the pain then goes away. Well, not always - but I distract myself with watching the surgical procedure - I imagine little flecks in the drainage as well.


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3) I do the same thing with arthritis pain - I imagine the doctor poking me with painful needles in all of my joints, while he injects cortisone. The pain of the needles allows me to forget the other pain and to focus upon the relief the cortisone would cause. The pain is still there, but it doesn't hurt as much as those pretend needles.


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4) Chest pains and breathing difficulties. The best thing here is to offer it up, recall how much you enjoyed smoking, and tell yourself how much worse they would be if you still smoked. When that fails, I try to pretend I'm on narcotics - but I can never duplicate that euphoria!


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5) Frequent awakenings during the night due to male problems... I look on these things as opportunities to pray during the night... and the pain as a good penance. But I'm always so tired the next day.


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6) If all of these remedies fail, I remind myself to pray for a happy death.


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Look for future "advice and how to" posts. I'm thinking the next one will be, "How to stretch your food budget during a recession, huge inflation, and food shortages."
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[I'll be offline because I'm in California for a wedding. OH! C'MON! I'M JUST KIDDING!!! I needed an excuse to use the photo.]




9 comments:

  1. you are a sick....sick man.

    I like it....

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  2. You're hilarious!
    I lasted 48 hrs on facebook....it was too much.

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  3. Mr Terry , You are too funny. And correct yet again. You forgot to mention psychiatric ailments as well.How do we pretend that our minds are sound? Maybe you could imagine that the great physician is poking around up there ,picking out the bad spots like daiseys. Can we make deals with God to suffer for certain souls? I have a few souls that I want real bad.

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  4. Georgette6:18 PM

    I know you wrote this all in jest, but I am picking up in the subtext that you are having some serious health problems. You are in my prayers, dear Terry.

    and, I am so sorry about your feeling overwhelmed with facebook and emails. You can leave the facebook alone for a long time until the day you are bored with nothing else better to do! I am glad I used a rarely used email address as my facebook email so that I don't get every single alert sent to me in my regular mailbox. I think you can adjust it so it won't do that, though.

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  5. Georgette - please tell your husband that I hope he really appreciates you - he is a very fortunate man.

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  6. Thank you Terry. This helps. I am in a lot of pain today. I offer this for the conversion of sinners and the salvation of souls.

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  7. Facebook is settling down after the initial flurry of activity. Thank goodness. I do like to read the little daily updates and have an idea of what everyone is doing.

    For the very poor or folks without insurance there is Partnership for Prescription. It's pretty simple to apply and the drug company gives you the drugs for free. Sends a four month supply to the doctors office.

    I was taking something once (for my ADD) that cost about $150.00 per month so I applied.

    I don't take it anymore - it made me really, really, really normal. It was awful. Much prefer crazy!

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  8. I'm having fun on Facebook but not taking it too seriously. Since I am a geek, by nature, I am loading pics from my crackberry(never had a camera phone) and think of it as doing magic tricks. Take a pic and tada, whoop, there it is. Your pain methods are helpful. I need to realize I am never going to have any control over anything in my life and let God do His work. I'm boogering it up. God bless.

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  9. Ter: Say hi to Gerald for us!

    Seriously, I tell everyone with blogger, facebook, the phone, whatever..unplug the dang thing when you need to.

    It's great seeing you on Facebook though. You trendsetter you!

    Prayers here!

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