Friday, June 29, 2007

Blogger Madness

Have you noticed it lately?
A few seem to be going all Howard Beale - George and Martha on their blogs.
(I wonder if some people may not be blogging from a mental hospital or something?)

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Breaking News! St. Paul Librarian Under Investigation!

Stats, lies, and the Internet.

An as yet unnamed St. Paul librarian is under investigation by Library Security, the FCC, and FBI for unauthorized use of Library computers with the intention to defraud the public. It is rumored that she has worked in tandem with a former female police officer from the Northern Suburbs in a scam to defraud Internet users.
Details are sketchy, but a source revealed these two hatched an online scam to "cook the books" when it came to blog stats, the number of hits, comments, etc., to possibly increase readership and popularity. The investigation is focused solely upon Internet misuse using Library equipment, although one source suggested there may be an implication of monetary gain, or perhaps a deal for an online (U-Tube) or TV reality show. A Library Administrator said he could make no comment concerning the investigation except to say, "This is just the tip of the iceberg I'm afraid - every computer in the five county area - the entire system - has been employed in this scam."
An investigative computer analyst remarked that these women, if the allegations are true, are quite possibly the masterminds behind one of the most ingenious cyber scams ever devised, explaining to this reporter, "They devised a way to reroute comments and user stats from countless blogs and feed them into their own sites. They were also able to hack into every single Library computer in the 5 county area, even college and university computers, to manipulate hits on their own websites."
The suspects investigators are looking at have been described by one frightened Library coworker as "the typical "Thelma and Louise" types, they hate men - they want all men off the Internet. She (name withheld) is a psychopath!" Another, obviously traumatized Library worker, who claims he worked for the suspect, tearfully whispered through the Kleenex he held, "She's the Kathy Bates of library science - did you ever see "Misery"?" The poor man then broke down, sobbing.
Sad.

Thursday Poetry Corner: #2 in a series.

Two Women
...
Meet Cathy, who's lived most everywhere,
From any bar to Baker's Square.
But Julie's only seen the sight
A girl can see from Columbia Heights -- What a crazy pair!
...
But they're like cousins,
Identical cousins all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as night and day.
...
Where Cathy adores a minuet,
The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette,
Our Julie loves to rock and roll,
A hot dog makes her lose control -- What a wild duet!
...
Still, they're like cousins,
Identical cousins and you'll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even drink alike -- You can lose your mind,
When cousins are two of a kind.
- Anonymous

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

BUI blogs...

My next series will be entitled, "Blogging while drunk" - I think some bloggers need an intervention.

(Question: If you go to Kinkos, or the library, can you go to different computers and keep logging in - then go to your blog - creating multiple hits to make your stats go up? Yeah! I think so, and there is going to be an investigation by the FCC into this!)

Applying for disability...


Have to! I just finished off my vicodin last night!

Blogged out!


Internet addiction - it can kill you!
(Thanks to JS for this photo - I don't know where he finds 'em!)

Latin Mass



Has anyone heard if the Machu Picchu has been signed yet? I've kinda been waiting.
Photo: Father Capote.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Who is in Heaven?



Sinners. (Repentant of course.) I think it is the proud and self-righteous who go to hell.
(Art: Madonna of Loreto, Caravaggio)

Free! Free at last!


Paris is out of jail - doesn't she look cute? That wasn't so bad now was it? (She reminds me of Jen in this picture. Oooooooo! A tear.)

Monday, June 25, 2007

Pat

Is she on your parish staff?

Yeah, I thought so.

More from The Poetry Corner...


Virtual Insanity
Oh yeah, what we're living in (let me tell ya)
It's a wonder man can eat at all
When things are big that should be small
Who can tell what magic spells we'll be doing for us
And I'm giving all my love to this world
Only to be told
I can't see
I can't breathe
No more will we be
And nothing's going to change the way we live
Cos' we can always take but never give
And now that things are changing for the worse,
See, its a crazy world we're living in
And I just can't see that half of us immersed in sin
Is all we have to give these -


Futures made of virtual insanity now
Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground...
-Jamiroquai
...
Art: From: art of the insane - artist unknown.

Despair


The end of these other poor wretches who are in great misery.

"How terrible and dark is their death! Because in the moment of death, as I told you, the Devil accuses them with great terror and darkness, showing his face, which you know is so horrible that the creature would rather choose any pain that can be suffered in this world than see it; and so greatly does he freshen the sting of conscience that it gnaws him horribly. The inordinate delights and sensuality of which he made lords over his reason, accuse him miserably, because then he knows the truth of that which at first he knew not, and his error brings him to great confusion.

"In his life he lived unfaithfully to Me -- self-love having veiled the pupil of the most holy faith -- wherefore the Devil torments him with infidelity in order to bring him to despair. Oh! how hard for them is this battle, because it finds them disarmed, without the armor of affection and charity; because, as members of the Devil, they have been deprived of it all. Wherefore they have not the supernatural light, neither the light of science, because they did not understand it, the horns of their pride not letting them understand the sweetness of its marrow. Wherefore now in the great battle they know not what to do. They are not nourished in hope, because they have not hoped in Me, neither in the Blood of which I made them ministers, but in themselves alone, and in the dignities and delights of the world. And the incarnate wretch did not see that all was counted to him with interest, and that as a debtor he would have to render an account to Me; now he finds himself denuded and without any virtue, and on whichever side he turns he hears nothing but reproaches with great confusion. His injustice which he practiced in his life accuses him to his conscience, wherefore he dares not ask other than justice.

"And I tell you that so great is that shame and confusion that unless in their life they have taken the habit of hoping in My mercy, that is, have taken the milk of mercy (although on account of their sins this is great presumption, for you cannot truly say that he who strikes Me with the arm of My mercy has a hope in mercy, but rather has presumption), there is not one who would not despair, and with despair they would arrive with the Devil in eternal damnation." - The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Sienna

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Yikes!


The dykes down the street are having a Pride party tonight. Theresa put up a tent in her yard, and her partner, who I thought was her brother, seems to be tending bar. Butch-o-rama!
I never go to parties anyway, but that doesn't mean I'm not ticked that I wasn't invited.
You know, you try so hard to be nice to dykes, but the butch ones tend to be kind of bitchy - I'm pretty sure most of them hate men. (Maybe it's just because this group happens to be Gen-Xers - naw, I really think it's a dyke thing.)
Whatever, I think I'll call the cops before I go to bed. LOL!

Men in flip-flops...


Even without the dress I think they look effeminate.

What a beautiful day in the neighborhood...


Quotes from Mr. Rogers:

"I feel the greatest gift we can give to anybody is the gift of our honest self."

"Of course, I get angry. Of course, I get sad. I have a full range of emotions. I also have a whole smorgasbord of ways of dealing with my feelings. That is what we should give children. Give them ... ways to express their rage without hurting themselves or somebody else. That's what the world needs."

"You know, you don't have to look like everybody else to be acceptable and to feel acceptable."

"I have a very modulated way of dealing with my anger. I have always tried to understand the other person and invariably I've discovered that somebody who rubs you the wrong way has been rubbed the wrong way many times."

Won't you be my neighbor?