Friday, June 29, 2007

Blogger Madness

Have you noticed it lately?
A few seem to be going all Howard Beale - George and Martha on their blogs.
(I wonder if some people may not be blogging from a mental hospital or something?)

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Breaking News! St. Paul Librarian Under Investigation!

Stats, lies, and the Internet.

An as yet unnamed St. Paul librarian is under investigation by Library Security, the FCC, and FBI for unauthorized use of Library computers with the intention to defraud the public. It is rumored that she has worked in tandem with a former female police officer from the Northern Suburbs in a scam to defraud Internet users.
Details are sketchy, but a source revealed these two hatched an online scam to "cook the books" when it came to blog stats, the number of hits, comments, etc., to possibly increase readership and popularity. The investigation is focused solely upon Internet misuse using Library equipment, although one source suggested there may be an implication of monetary gain, or perhaps a deal for an online (U-Tube) or TV reality show. A Library Administrator said he could make no comment concerning the investigation except to say, "This is just the tip of the iceberg I'm afraid - every computer in the five county area - the entire system - has been employed in this scam."
An investigative computer analyst remarked that these women, if the allegations are true, are quite possibly the masterminds behind one of the most ingenious cyber scams ever devised, explaining to this reporter, "They devised a way to reroute comments and user stats from countless blogs and feed them into their own sites. They were also able to hack into every single Library computer in the 5 county area, even college and university computers, to manipulate hits on their own websites."
The suspects investigators are looking at have been described by one frightened Library coworker as "the typical "Thelma and Louise" types, they hate men - they want all men off the Internet. She (name withheld) is a psychopath!" Another, obviously traumatized Library worker, who claims he worked for the suspect, tearfully whispered through the Kleenex he held, "She's the Kathy Bates of library science - did you ever see "Misery"?" The poor man then broke down, sobbing.

Thursday Poetry Corner: #2 in a series.

Two Women
Meet Cathy, who's lived most everywhere,
From any bar to Baker's Square.
But Julie's only seen the sight
A girl can see from Columbia Heights -- What a crazy pair!
But they're like cousins,
Identical cousins all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as night and day.
Where Cathy adores a minuet,
The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette,
Our Julie loves to rock and roll,
A hot dog makes her lose control -- What a wild duet!
Still, they're like cousins,
Identical cousins and you'll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even drink alike -- You can lose your mind,
When cousins are two of a kind.
- Anonymous

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

BUI blogs...

My next series will be entitled, "Blogging while drunk" - I think some bloggers need an intervention.

(Question: If you go to Kinkos, or the library, can you go to different computers and keep logging in - then go to your blog - creating multiple hits to make your stats go up? Yeah! I think so, and there is going to be an investigation by the FCC into this!)

Latin Mass

Has anyone heard if the Machu Picchu has been signed yet? I've kinda been waiting.
Photo: Father Capote.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Who is in Heaven?

Sinners. (Repentant of course.) I think it is the proud and self-righteous who go to hell.
(Art: Madonna of Loreto, Caravaggio)

Monday, June 25, 2007

More from The Poetry Corner...

Virtual Insanity
Oh yeah, what we're living in (let me tell ya)
It's a wonder man can eat at all
When things are big that should be small
Who can tell what magic spells we'll be doing for us
And I'm giving all my love to this world
Only to be told
I can't see
I can't breathe
No more will we be
And nothing's going to change the way we live
Cos' we can always take but never give
And now that things are changing for the worse,
See, its a crazy world we're living in
And I just can't see that half of us immersed in sin
Is all we have to give these -

Futures made of virtual insanity now
Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground...
Art: From: art of the insane - artist unknown.

Sunday, June 24, 2007


The dykes down the street are having a Pride party tonight. Theresa put up a tent in her yard, and her partner, who I thought was her brother, seems to be tending bar. Butch-o-rama!
I never go to parties anyway, but that doesn't mean I'm not ticked that I wasn't invited.
You know, you try so hard to be nice to dykes, but the butch ones tend to be kind of bitchy - I'm pretty sure most of them hate men. (Maybe it's just because this group happens to be Gen-Xers - naw, I really think it's a dyke thing.)
Whatever, I think I'll call the cops before I go to bed. LOL!

Men in flip-flops...

Even without the dress I think they look effeminate.