Sunday, December 10, 2006

Communion




I can't wait to get to Mass in the morning. I prepare with lectio, using the readings of the day, communicating with a spiritual communion, praying the rosary.


I love to get to the church early, to pray before the Blessed Sacrament, usually discussing my sins and infidelities with Our Lord, and remembering all of those I need to pray for. Especially "my kids".


I have a lot of "kids". I immediately can adopt a perfect stranger if I see a hint of sadness, or a limp, or some sort of mental challenge, even just a stutter. I try to pick them up as a spiritual good Samaritan I guess. But it's not that I think I am a good Samaritan - these "kids" of mine are the good Samaritans. You see, they touched something in me that identifies with them. They awaken in me the awareness that I am lame and crippled and blind too. And I love them because they gave me this gift to recognize my own sometimes crippling defects. I can't hug them, so I kind of adopt them and bring them to prayer with me.


Sometimes, like this morning, I can almost feel our Lord's embrace of us as soon as I kneel down in the pew...and I don't even have to mention my kids, because He already knows about them.


Every time I approach for Communion I feel a thrill, mixed with a kind of fear that I am so not worthy - I know that sounds pious and fake, but I also understand that He wants to come under my roof...He can't wait either.


And I don't want Him to leave, once I have Him. It is the only moment when I know happiness, and joy - albeit oftentimes not felt, or experienced in any emotional way. I can't describe it. I don't want to leave the church because I know the world will invade and distract me from this recollection. So I stay as long as possible to make my thanksgiving, grasping Him who grasped me. It is nice, because the church empties out quickly after Mass, and we are nearly alone.


Teresa of Avila wrote that the practice of mental prayer is easiest after communion, and prescribed for her nuns to remain a long time in thanksgiving. It is so like the married couple, united in the embrace of love, not wanting to separate from one another. Every communion is like that.


It's so good to make a long thanksgiving - it's all about love. I think it is better to spend 15 or 20 minutes in thanksgiving after communion than it is to spend an hour in adoration...yet both are invaluable, aren't they.


This is why I am Roman Catholic - Jesus present in the Blessed Sacrament.




3 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:27 PM

    Your analogy with the marital act seems to me rather scandalous. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous said...
    "Your analogy with the marital act seems to me rather scandalous. Sorry."

    I couldn't disagree with you more, annonymous!!

    "It is so like the married couple, united in the embrace of love, not wanting to separate from one another. Every communion is like that."

    Terry you write beautifully. Your descriptions about your brother & father are magnificent.

    As the mother of 10 children I know exactly what you mean. Each of our 10 children are the pesonification of our love which usually began with a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine and Thou. Body and blood mingle, human life!

    The Sacred bread and wine, the sacramental mingling of the Body and Blood so many may have EVERLASTING life!

    I will keep your brother and father in my prayers for the souls in Purgatory...

    YES,
    I KNOW
    NOVEMBER

    Yes, I know November
    The tolling of the bell,
    The whispers of the suf'ring souls
    From mountain top to dell.

    The chilly, gray, damp mornings
    The rusting of the leaves,
    The whispers of the suf'ring souls
    Like moans from one who grieves.

    And in the windy noon-time
    When clouds fight 'gainst sun's might,
    The whispers of the suf'ring souls
    Cry, "Sanctuary light!"

    So 'fore the red-glassed candle,
    Compelled, I go to pray,
    The whispers of the suf'ring souls
    Plead, "Sacrifice today!"

    Now, deep, dark sanctuary
    Is lit by candle, bold,
    The whispers of the suf'ring souls...
    "Your prayers are autumn gold!"

    So like the leaves of autumn
    I fall to kneeling posture,
    The whispers of the suf'ring souls
    Beg, "Say a Pater Noster!"

    The flicker in the red glass
    Burns hotter, now, with Creed.
    Oh, yes, I know November!
    The month of Hope...souls freed!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you so much for your lovely comment and promise to pray, I am so very touched! God love you!

    ReplyDelete


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