Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Real Deal

The Bone Chapel, Malta
I decided to create a new weblog because I couldn't get into my original one from home - I forgot my user name and password. But I have wanted to have another more personal blog that can be more 'raw' if you will. At any rate, more down to earth - and maybe kind of dark.
I start out with this picture of the bone house because death has been on my mind for a few years and now it feels like it is stalking me. It's not a scary thing however. As I wrote in my other blog I look forward to it if it means living eternally with our Lord - that is, if I may die a 'happy death'. I was so gallant when I wrote that the other day. I was not considering the suffering that accompanies it, the aches and pains, which are perhaps minor at present, but will likely increase. The being tossed about from one doctor to another while never really resolving anything. I realized that I can make too much of it all, talk about it too much - I mean constantly tell everyone about every little illness. I understood last night that I must offer it up as a penance, in reparation - this is a golden opportunity - to offer one's illness, one's aches and pains, plus the humiliation of being sick and sort of lame...this is part of the way, albeit the way of the cross. It was indeed a consolation to understand that, and I felt unworthy of it.

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